


deck the halls

by dare121



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Advent Calendar, F/F, Non-Binary Vasquez
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-09 03:22:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 68,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12879138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dare121/pseuds/dare121
Summary: This is an Advent Calendar for my friends @murderiread, @sandpix, and @JoyfulTemplar on tumblr. I will be posting a one-shot every day from the 1st to the 24th of December.Every chapter will have the prompt for the one shot and a short summary.Enjoy xoxo





	1. gay is okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! Remember last year when I did three of these calendars at once??? haha yeah, this year I don't have the time or the spoons to do that. But I can at least get one out for my peeps ♥
> 
>  **For** : murderiread
> 
>  **The first prompt/word was** : "Alex outs herself to Eliza, who decides to play matchmaker" [Alex x Kara; Fluff]
> 
>  **One shot summary** : "Eliza has always been worried that her daughter works too much and will end up alone. But now that she knows the reason she never heard about any boyfriends is that her daughter is gay, she feels much better about the situation. And she also decides to help."

Humming happily, Eliza pushed her shopping cart in front of herself and waited for her call to go through. She was beyond excited, and wanted to share her new discovery with her best friend as soon as she possibly could. Frankly, she was surprised she’d remembered to bring her wireless in-ear headset so she could use both hands while she was getting her food for the week.

The call was connected just as Eliza was wondering which pasta sauce to buy. These days, there were so many different brands and flavors, she always had trouble picking which one she liked best.

“Hello, this is Dr. Danielle Proust.”

“Dan! It’s me, Eliza.” Even though technically both Danielle’s and Eliza’s smartphones had caller ID systems, the two of them still fell back on old habits every time they called each other. Now, as she stood in the grocery store with two glasses of pasta sauce in her hands and her friend’s voice in her ear, Eliza had to try very hard not to vibrate straight out of her shoes and into the sky. “I have something to tell you.”

As Eliza had hoped she would, Dan picked up on her good mood right away. “The grant for your new research project was finally approved?” She asked, clearly ready to congratulate Eliza on her success.

“Even better.” Eliza put the sauce in her right hand into the shopping cart and moved on. “Alex is gay!”

For a few seconds, there was silence on the other end, then a gasp of surprised delight reached her ears.

“No!” Danielle exclaimed, causing Eliza’s grin to widen.

“Yes! She came out to me this morning. It was so sweet.” She paused next to the several tubes of ketchup on the shelf and ignored the startled stare from the woman next to her, who had clearly been surprised by Eliza’s sudden exclamation of gay news. “I spent the next three hours researching contemporary lesbian culture.”

Her words made Danielle give off a jealous sigh.

“I am so happy for you, Liza, seriously. My daughter’s new boyfriend is terrible.” The visual of Danielle shaking herself in disgust manifested itself in Eliza’s mind. “I don’t know where she finds these men, but it’s disturbing. I thought it couldn’t get any worse after the last one.”

Eliza hummed in understanding and continued walking.

“No chance at all that Rosalyn might be gay? Bisexual, maybe? We could set her and Alex up together.” The thought was enticing, to say the least. All her life, Alex hadn’t been much interested in dating, and Eliza had chalked it up to her daughter being too busy with her studies. Eliza had certainly instilled quite a lot of discipline and a strong work ethic in her. Now that she knew her daughter was just _gay_ , her worries about Alex ending up alone were all but wiped away. She couldn’t wait to meet her daughter’s future girlfriend.

Judging by the wistful noise she let out, the thought of Alex and Rosalyn unifying their families in marriage seemed to please Danielle. “No… So far, she hasn’t given me any indication that she would be open to a relationship with a woman. If she does, you’ll be the first to know. Although I don’t know how well the two of them would work together. They’re both quite headstrong.”

Eliza gave out a snort at that assessment. “I don’t know where they get it from,” she said with a smile.

 

-

 

By the time Eliza was done with her shopping and had driven back home, she’d just about finished telling Danielle everything she’d read online about contemporary lesbian culture. Her friend was an excellent listener and the two of them had already planned several movie nights so they could watch some of the more popular lesbian movies.

“Have you heard of the _Harold_ meme, Dan?” Eliza asked as she put away the pasta sauce. “It’s delightful.”

Unsurprisingly, Alex wasn’t home. After coming out, she’d left the house to meet up with some of her old high school friends, since a lot of them were in Midvale from college for summer break. Eliza wondered whether any of them were gay, too.

“Do you have time for a coffee in town?” Eliza asked her friend, grabbing her keys off the kitchen table. She’d put away all the frozen things she’d bought – the rest she’d leave for Alex to put away later.

“I’m sorry, Liza, I have this paper I desperately need to finish.” Neither one of them mentioned that Danielle had already clearly been procrastinating for the last hour and a half by talking to Eliza. They both knew how taxing academia could be. “Speaking of which, I should get back into it. I banished John from the study and if he finds out I’ve been slacking off he won’t be happy.”

Since she was already on the way out, Eliza didn’t bother changing her course.

“Maybe we can meet up tomorrow. I’ll let you get back to work,” she said, closing the front door behind herself and walking to her car. “John can’t be too mad; not once you tell him about Alex. I’m sure he’ll understand.”

After a warm goodbye, they disconnected the call and Eliza drove into town. Midvale wasn’t big, but they had a few coffee shops dotted around the place, and she already knew which one she wanted to visit.

With her car parked safely in one of the side streets, she walked into _The Flash and Dash_ café and ordered herself an iced coffee and a piece of their delicious chocolate cake. While she waited for her afternoon snack to be finished, she pulled out her phone.

[Eliza Danvers]: Having a good time out with your friends? _Sent 2:34PM_.

Even though she was pretty sure she’d reacted properly to Alex’s coming out, she still worried slightly. She was supportive, of course, but sometimes she and Alex had communication problems. When her daughter had been a teenager, Jeremiah had been there to smooth over the rough edges. Now that he wasn’t with them anymore, Eliza often found herself wondering what he would have said in her stead when she felt as though she wasn’t getting her point across.

Alex’s response to her text message came just as Eliza had sat herself down at one of the window tables. Smiling at her daughter’s one-word message of _Yeah_ , Eliza decided not to pry further. She didn’t want to be too much of a bother, and if Alex really _was_ having a good time, she wouldn’t be very focused on her phone anyway.

Putting down her cell, Eliza used her free hand to push the first forkful of delicious cake into her mouth. Utterly content with her current situation, she leaned back in her chair and let her eyes wander around the café. It was a nice day in Midvale, so quite a few people were out and about. There were a number that she recognized, and she smiled at them before continuing her quiet surveillance.

Her daughter was a lesbian.

The thought sent a spark of excitement through Eliza’s chest all over again. She couldn’t wait for her daughter to find a girlfriend. Someone with whom she could spend her free time – someone who made her happy. Eliza remembered all too well how she’d felt when she’d finally found Jeremiah. The two of them had been so good together, and her daughter deserved the same chance.

As her eyes kept wandering _The Flash and Dash_ , her attention was captured by the reflection of a pin across the room. The small object had shifted, because its owner was looking for something in her bag. In an instant, Eliza realized that the pin was in the shape of a _rainbow_. Interest piqued, she scanned the rest of the bag before moving on to the woman behind it. She had long, blonde hair that framed her face beautifully and was wearing a pair of rectangular glasses with thick, dark rims. They reminded Eliza of the pair Jeremiah had worn in his youth and she smiled at the thought.

The young woman’s arms were bare, since she was wearing an attractive white dress with a black belt around her waist. She sat in front of a laptop and a plate with two sticky buns, although at the moment she was paying attention to neither. Instead, she was still rummaging through her brown messenger bag.

With a thoughtful hum, Eliza pulled her phone closer to herself.

A rainbow pin.

A _rainbow_ pin.

She tapped her fork against her lips, before deciding to throw caution to the wind.

Surreptitiously pulling up her phone, she made sure her sound was turned off before taking a picture of the pretty young woman with the glasses and the (hopefully) gay pin, before sending it to her daughter.

[Eliza Danvers]: I think I found you a girlfriend. Do you want me to give her your number? _Sent 2:50PM_.

The response from Alex was almost instantaneous, and it made Eliza laugh.

 

> [Alex Danvers]: NO! Mom, don’t you dare! _Sent 2:50PM_.

 

Although she’d meant it more as a joke, the more she looked at the young woman only a few tables away, the more Eliza wondered if giving out Alex’s number would be such a bad idea. Maybe not immediately, but after a short conversation… why not? The girl was certainly attractive enough for her daughter.

Picking up her things, Eliza disposed of her used dishes and ordered herself another iced coffee. As she waited, she watched the young woman type away at her laptop. There was a document open on her screen and she seemed to be hard at work, something which Eliza appreciated very much.

Looking down at her phone, Eliza had to bite back another laugh as she saw that Alex had left her another message.

 

> [Alex Danvers]: Do not bother this woman! _Sent 2:51PM_.

 

Choosing to ignore Alex on the basis that Eliza would never consider her kind offer a _bother_ , she picked up her iced coffee and slowly walked over to the woman’s table. With a friendly smile on her face, she pulled back one of the two free chairs and sat down.

“Beautiful day, isn’t it?” she offered, feeling just a bit bad when the young woman was startled out of her work. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you, I was just wondering if you’re new in town, because I haven’t seen you around here before.” She held out her hand. “Eliza Danvers.”

The young woman shook it, clearly pushed off balance by Eliza’s forwardness.

“Oh, um, I’m Kara Kent. I’m just here on vacation to visit some friends.” Kara’s smile was small, but it was there, and Eliza considered it a victory. “I needed a break from the big city.” Pushing up her glasses with one hand, Kara picked up her half-empty coffee cup with the other. “How long have you lived here?”

Cradling her iced coffee in between her hands and enjoying the coolness it brought her, Eliza answered the young woman’s question with enthusiasm, before steering the conversation in a more interesting direction.

“My daughter Alex is visiting right now, too. She’s usually off at Stanford, you know, finishing her doctorate in bio-engineering.” She watched for any change in Kara’s expression – hopefully she’d be impressed. She wanted her daughter to sound as amazing as she was. “Are you in college, Kara?”

“I’m afraid my degree won’t sound as exciting as your daughter’s.” She gestured at her laptop. “I’m studying journalism in National City.”

“Oh, that’s not too far from Stanford,” Eliza said almost too casually, pulling her phone back out of her jacket pocket. “Maybe you and Alex can get together while you’re here and keep seeing each other once you have to go back to school. Here, I’ll show you a picture of her.”

Finding a good picture of Alex wasn’t too difficult, and she watched Kara closely as she turned her phone around to show her. The girl was hard to read, and Eliza wished she had the ability to read minds to figure out whether or not Kara was interested. Since she couldn’t use the option of telepathy, she had to go with the old-fashioned way.

 _Asking_.

“Are you single, Kara?” Eliza asked, again feeling slightly apologetic when Kara nearly choked on the sip of coffee she’d just taken. Smiling tactfully, Eliza handed over a tissue so Kara could mop up the coffee on the table. Thankfully, she hadn’t spilled any on her nice dress. “I’m just asking, because _Alex_ is and I think the two of you would really hit it off.”

“Wow, um, Mrs. Danvers, that’s so nice, but,” Kara fiddled with the used tissue, before setting it to the side.

“Are you already seeing someone?” For some reason, the thought depressed Eliza. Now that they’d spoken, she was even more convinced that Alex and Kara would get along well. They were both attractive young women with promising careers and considering that Kara also had a _Star Wars_ pin on her bag, they had at least one common interest.

“Well, no, but…” Kara admitted, fiddling with her glasses.

“I’ll just leave you her number and you can decide whether or not you want to contact her,” Eliza said, setting her phone with the picture of Alex back in front of Kara, before pulling her notebook and a ballpoint pen out of her large, cream-colored purse. “I know I’m being awfully forward, but I saw you sitting over here and I couldn’t let the opportunity go to waste.”

She wrote down Alex’s cellphone number, which Eliza had memorized, just in case her own phone ever died while she was out and about and needed to use someone else’s. Even though Kara still looked unsure, her eyes were fixed on the picture on Eliza’s smartphone, which Eliza took to be a good sign.

“And trust me, I know I’m biased because I’m her mother, but Alex is a great person. She’s kind, and smart, and a great listener.” She handed over the piece of paper and smiled widely as Kara accepted it with a little hesitation. “I’ll let you get back to work. Just think about it.” Grabbing her iced coffee, Eliza got to her feet and squeezed Kara’s shoulder. “Trust me, Alex is a catch.”

“I’m sure she is,” Kara said weakly, her cheeks flushed red. “Don’t forget your phone.”

“Oh, yes. Thank you.” Picking up her cell, Eliza turned off the screen and stuffed it into her pocket. “I hope I’ll see you around, Kara. It was nice talking to you. I hope everything works out with your studies and that you have a good time in Midvale.”

With another smile, Eliza turned away and exited the coffee shop.

She had a great feeling about this.

 

-

 

Bewildered, Kara stared down at the piece of paper in her hand. Had this moment really just happened? Had a nice older woman truly given her this phone number? And had the woman on the cellphone really been _that_ attractive?

Shaking her head, Kara looked up again to follow Mrs. Danvers with her eyes as she walked outside. Since the woman hadn’t mysteriously vanished, Kara was pretty sure the entire conversation hadn’t been one elaborate fever dream that culminated with Kara hallucinate-writing a phone number onto the piece of paper herself.

A part of her wanted to whip out her phone immediately and call her best friend Lucy to discuss what to do next and whether she should burn the number or text it. But the bigger part of her, the one that sat completely flabbergasted in her chair, just wanted to follow Mrs. Danvers with her eyes and freak out a bit more.

Things like this didn’t happen in real life, surely?

Just as Mrs. Danvers had left the café, she was caught by someone slightly taller than her. A woman with a brunette bob, who was wearing a black leather jacket and a pair of skintight jeans. Kara’s eyes nearly bugged out of her eyes as she realized that the woman was Mrs. Danvers daughter. _Alex_.

“Crap,” Kara murmured, reaching up to fiddle with her glasses as she watched Alex’s blushing face. Clearly, she hadn’t approved of her mother’s plan to give Kara her number, if her contrite expression was anything to go by. When Alex’s eyes shifted to the window of the café, Kara had half the mind to slip under her table to avoid her eyes.

Rooted to the spot, Kara looked away from Alex as soon as their gazes met, staring intently at her laptop without seeing a thing. This was more humiliating than she would have anticipated – after all, _she_ hadn’t been the one who had approached Mrs. Danvers.

When a couple of seconds had passed, Kara chanced another look outside, confused and relieved to see that Mrs. Danvers was once again by herself. Only… where had her attractive daughter gone? A quick scan of Kara’s surroundings answered that question quite succinctly.

“Hey, I’m so sorry,” Alex said, her cheeks looking about as red as Kara’s own felt. Now that she was standing next to her, Kara could see that the jeans perfectly pronounced Alex’s muscled thighs, and that she was wearing a fandom tee for one of the shows Kara had heard about online. _Wynonna Earp_ , if she wasn’t mistaken. With her studies, Kara had barely been able to keep up with her shows. “I told my mom not to bother you.”

Swallowing down her anxiety at the sight of this gorgeous stranger, Kara smiled up at her new visitor.

“It’s fine,” she said, adjusting her glasses for the umpteenth time. “She was very nice and polite about it.” With a small shrug, Kara waved the piece of paper with Alex’s number around. “You know, about selling you to me.”

Alex groaned and rubbed her face.

“Again, I can’t apologize enough,” Alex said, dropping her hands from her face and glaring at the figure still waiting outside. “I’d sort of hoped she was kidding when she texted me your picture, but…” She sighed, and Kara’s face flushed even hotter. “Had to make sure.”

“My picture?” Well, Mrs. Danvers was certainly thorough.

Alex froze.

Then the face rubbing was back.

“I’m making this worse. Sorry, again, my mother is… enthusiastic.” Reaching out, Alex tried to grab the piece of paper in between Kara’s fingers, only to come up empty, because, well. At the last second, Kara had pulled it away, somehow strangely protective of it. It was an unconscious move, one that didn’t ease Kara’s embarrassment.

“I, uh, kind of—sorry,” Kara rambled, clutching the phone number tightly in between both hands. “It’s not every day that something like this happens. I want to keep it for—posterity, I guess. Sorry.” She looked away from Alex again, down at the twelve neat digits in front of her.

“You can frame it and put it above your bed to remind yourself that people like my mother exist and that they should be avoided at all costs.” Alex’s murmured words were almost too quiet for Kara to hear, but they made her chuckle nonetheless. Another glance outside revealed that Mrs. Danvers was speaking on the phone now, a quiet grin on her lips. She was probably having a grand old time, watching the two of them talk to each other.

Clearing her throat, Alex stuffed her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket. She really was very attractive, especially that little wrinkle in between her eyebrows. And those deep, hazel eyes… that were _staring_ at her now. She needed to get a grip.

“I guess I’ll let you get back to what you were doing now. I just wanted to make sure my mom didn’t offend you too much,” Alex said, clearly trying to smooth her expression back into one that wasn’t so obviously embarrassed.

“She didn’t offend me at all,” Kara replied, busying her hands by putting Alex’s number into her own notebook. “But thanks for checking.” For some reason, she didn’t want this conversation to end. Even if it was slightly uncomfortable due to the circumstances, Kara knew she was attracted to Alex. At least physically – she was exceedingly easy on the eyes. And the more they talked, the more Kara felt convinced that Mrs. Danvers hadn’t been exaggerating about how great her daughter was.

With a nod, Alex took a step back.

“Alright. I hope the rest of your day is less weird,” Alex said in goodbye, turning her face to the front of the shop.

It was a spur of the moment decision to call after her.

“Hey, Alex?” As though she’d been turned into stone, Alex stopped. She was still close enough that Kara barely needed to raise her voice – which was good, because otherwise Kara would have felt too uncomfortable to keep talking. “Can I text you later?” The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them.

Since her back was turned, Kara couldn’t see Alex’s face, but she hoped her expression wasn’t one of horror. Turning around, Alex gave Kara a look that wavered between surprise and disbelief – not exactly the reaction Kara had wanted.

Alex’s mouth opened.

Then it closed.

Then it opened again.

“Yes,” she said, before quickly turning her back on Kara once more and hurrying out of the café without waiting for her mother, who gave Kara a cheerful wave before following after her. The whole situation was almost as bizarre as the one that had preceded it, but Kara barely paid attention to how out of her element she felt. Or how she’d never told Alex her own name.

Instead, she slipped her phone out of her pocket.

She needed to call Lucy, because she had absolutely no idea about how long she should wait before she texted Alex. As of yet, the etiquette of waiting by the phone in order to flirt eluded her, but she knew her best friend could help.

While she waited for the call to connect, she flipped open her notebook and looked down at the number she’d stashed in it. Slowly, she drew the fingers of her left hand along the neatly written name above it.

 _Alex Danvers_.

She smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love supportive mama danvers. and i'm sure we've all seen those posts about moms trying to hook up their gay kids hehe. murderiread, i hope you had a good time with this! xoxo
> 
> All mistakes are my own -- my beta is still without internet
> 
> See you tomorrow! 
> 
> If you want to support me or hang out, find me @goshdarnitjay on tumblr


	2. shut up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **For** : JoyfulTemplar (& woodface)
> 
> **Prompt/word** : "Pregnancy fluff" [Alex x Kara; Fluff]
> 
> **One shot summary** : "Alex is grumpy about being pregnant. Kara soothes her."

At the latest twinge in her back, Alex put down the grocery bags in her hands and looked almost angrily at the woman beside her. “If I were you, I’d be very, very careful with my next words,” Alex said, crossing her arms over her chest as best as she could and giving her wife a withering glare.

 

“I wasn't going to say anything,” Kara replied innocently, picking up both of the bags with ease, even though she was already carrying four other ones. There was no way Kara was going to mention that she had offered to carry all of the bags from the start, and that Alex had only given her a reproachful look, before starting to carry the bags into the elevator.

 

The fact that she couldn't even make the short trip from the open elevator to their apartment wasn't helping Alex’s mood one bit.

 

Grumbling, Alex turned towards their front door and started waddling, holding onto her heavy pregnancy belly with both hands.

 

Kara couldn't help but smile.

 

“I love you,” she told Alex’s back, only to receive a derisive snort.

 

“Shut up.” Although Alex hadn't turned around, Kara could hear the smile in her voice, so she didn't say anything else as she followed her wife into their apartment. She knew Alex wouldn’t let go of her annoyance - at least outwardly - so there was no need to keep trying.

 

As soon as the door had closed behind them, Kara super sped their groceries into the proper cupboards, before stashing their bags in a drawer and coming to a halt next to Alex not even five seconds later.

 

“Do you need to sit down?” Kara asked carefully, her hands hovering over Alex’s back. Sometimes, Alex didn’t appreciate the concern or the genuinely loving touches against her sore areas - mainly because she was too proud to admit she was sore in the first place. And, most importantly, that a pregnancy had done what ten years at the D.E.O. hadn’t been able to do: Force the great and all-powerful Alexandra Danvers to take time off work and _rest_.

 

As she saw that Kara had already put away their groceries, Alex grumbled.

 

“You could have left some stuff for me to put away.” The tiny pout on her face vanished the second Kara held out one of the bags. It had been almost completely emptied, but Alex took it right away and started putting away the rest of their spoils.

 

As she watched her wife walk around the kitchen, Kara couldn’t help but grin. She knew Alex couldn’t live without being needed, which included the small things she did around their house, so Kara had taken to making sure that there were always small things for Alex to do. Nothing that would frustrate her, because her pregnancy kept her from being too active, but just enough that Alex was kept busy, even when Kara was out fighting the latest bad guy of the week. Although the two of them hadn’t discussed the matter, Kara had a feeling that her wife knew exactly what Kara was up to.

 

Taking off her shoes and jacket, Kara hummed happily as she listened to Alex puttering around the kitchen, keeping her ears tuned to her even as she left the room to hang up their coats. There was a part of Kara that still couldn’t believe she was here. In this moment, in this life. Married to Alex with a baby on the way.

 

She took a second to spin in place and wrap her arms around herself in glee, before shaking out her shoulders and floating back to Alex.

 

“Oh, baby, what’s the matter?” Alex’s voice was soft and quiet, and Kara stopped in the doorway to watch as her wife lifted up her maternity sweater and undershirt so she could run her hands along her naked stomach. “Feeling extra feisty today, are we?” There was a small cooing sound, followed by Alex’s next words being spoken in almost perfect Kryptonian. “ _Yes, you_ _’re going to be just as strong as your momma_.” She grunted in pain, quite possibly from a kick to the kidneys - their child was especially prone to hurting that area of Alex’s body. “Ugh, no need to test my theory, sweetheart.”

 

Trying desperately to hide her wide grin, Kara announced her return by whistling a little too innocently. Alex’s scowl was instantly back on her face, and Kara snickered slightly as she stopped next to her and pressed a sweet kiss against her cheek.

 

“I’m sorry,” Kara whispered lovingly, wrapping her arms around Alex’s belly from behind and pressing her front against her wife’s back. Their baby was kicking wildly, and Kara rubbed her hands slowly and soothingly around Alex’s soft skin. “I think she gets her enthusiasm from me.”

 

“Next time I want to have a baby, tell me to get lost,” Alex grunted, sagging back into Kara’s strong arms and closing her eyes. Her weight settled comfortably against Kara’s chest, and the way she sighed in contentment almost made Kara’s heart spill over with joy.

 

“Okay, honey,” Kara promised, turning around with Alex in her arms and dragging her over to the couch without putting too much pressure on the belly. “For now, how about you lay down on the couch and I massage your feet, hm?”

 

“We find this acceptable.” Alex grinned as she disentangled herself from Kara’s embrace and sat down on the couch. Before she could try to undo her own shoes, Kara had already super sped both them and her socks off her feet. “Can you get me that open carton of ice cream once you’re done with putting those away?”

 

“Sure.” A small kiss was pressed against Alex’s mouth, and she took a second to remind herself of how lucky she was. The relief didn’t last more than a minute before her aching back and feet demanded her attention once more.

 

“Stupid body,” she groaned quietly as she pushed her fingers against her back. “Kar, do you think it’s too late to have this baby in a birthing chamber at the Fortress?” She turned her back from side to side, trying desperately to loosen that persistent twinge. “Why didn’t you talk me out of having this baby myself?”

 

“If you want to be mad at me again, I’m not enabling you this time,” Kara said with a small smirk as she put the carton of triple chocolate chip ice cream onto the coffee table, before fluffing up the pillows and blankets at the end of the couch. As soon as they were placed properly in the corner, Kara waited for Alex to get comfortable.

 

Alex didn’t dignify that with a response, mainly because she was too busy reaching for the ice cream.

 

Shaking her head, Kara lifted Alex’s feet off the couch before slipping under them, so she could face Alex while she massaged her feet. They were swollen with water and Kara tutted in sympathy as she started by kneading the underside Alex’s left foot.

 

The reaction she got was instantaneous.

 

With the spoon of ice cream still in her mouth, Alex leaned even further back in the mountain of pillows and let out a long, satisfied moan. At this point in the pregnancy, Alex often reacted more strongly to Kara’s massages of her feet and back than she did during sex.

 

Kara didn’t take it personally.

 

Instead, she enjoyed the little noises coming out of her wife’s mouth as she continued to massage first the left and then the right foot, making sure to give each section of naked skin the same amount of time. In front of her, Alex seemed to dissolve into a puddle of relaxation, broken intermittently by Alex’s hand shoving spoon after spoon of ice cream into her smiling mouth.

 

“Do you want me to move on to your back next?” Kara asked casually as she drew her nails up and down the bottom of Alex’s right foot. She enjoyed it especially when Alex’s feet twitched from being tickled.

 

With a shake of her head, Alex stretched out her arms, her intention quite clear.

 

The empty carton of ice cream sat on the floor, and Kara didn’t bother with it as she floated up and into the gap between Alex and the couch.

 

“Can you move onto your side?” Kara’s hand had already slipped under Alex’s back and was seeking out the areas she knew were most sensitive. “I want to spoon my beautiful wife.” Her lips found the underside of Alex’s right ear and nipped at the skin there.

 

As though unplanned, a giggle spilled from Alex’s mouth, and she was on her side as quickly as her pregnant belly allowed her to move. The sound made Kara burrow even deeper into her wife’s back, slotting their legs together and wrapping a strong arm around Alex’s stomach.

 

“I love you,” she whispered in between a series of small kisses and nuzzles along Alex’s neck. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” Alex’s arm slid back and around Kara’s head, fingers digging into Kara’s blonde hair.

 

“I love you, too,” Alex replied, closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath.

 

She couldn’t wait to raise this child.

 

And to share it all with Kara.

 

Turning her head to the side, she caught Kara’s lips in a long and arduous kiss, hoping to convey the way that Kara’s love made her feel every day. With the way that Kara’s arms tightened around her… Alex was pretty sure her message was coming across.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a bit of sweet pregnancy fluff :) hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Unbeta-d. All mistakes are mine
> 
> If you want to support me or come by to say hi, find me on tumblr @goshdarnitjay


	3. Al-e-x

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **For** : sandpix (& woodface & JoyfulTemplar)
> 
> **Prompt/word** : "Attack on Titan AU" [Alex x Kara; Lucy x Vasquez; Hurt/Comfort]
> 
> **One shot summary** : "The Trost district is under attack. Alex, Kara, and the rest are trying to survive (Takes place somewhere between episode 5 and 13 of AoT S1)."
> 
> **Warning: Mentions of Blood, gore, and canon-typical violence for Attack on Titan. No spoilers for anything beyond episode 13 of season 1.**

The situation she found herself in was anything but rosy.

 

As she kept running from the titan that was trying to tear her flesh off in chunks, Alex wondered what Kara would say if she could see her now.

 

A part of her was glad that they had been separated. Before they’d even been sent into battle, her best friend and foster sister had been placed in a different cadet regiment.

 

Although Alex had wanted to fight the orders of her superior officers at first, she knew that sending her in with the more experienced soldiers was a good idea from a strategic perspective.

 

They needed to keep the people of Wall Rose safe, and Alex needed to go where her skills would make the most impact. Still, neither she nor Mikasa had been looking forward to the thought of sending their friends into possible death without them there to help.

 

“And look at me now,” Alex grumbled under her breath as she rounded a corner and kept running.

 

On foot.

 

Because her stupid air canister had been faulty and had run out on her early, which left her without the aid of her omni-directional mobility gear.

 

In other words, she was practically helpless.

 

Nothing more than an easy kill for the lumbering titan who was following her.

 

The only good thing Alex could see about the situation was that the titan behind her wasn't an abnormal. It walked like a regular titan, and although it was only ten meters tall, it was walking slowly.

 

The stupid grin on its face made her want to retch every time she looked back to it to see if it was still far enough away.

 

There was blood around its mouth and on its chest, and Alex tried not to think about who the blood belonged to.

 

Next time she rounded the corner, she would keep an eye out for a building she might be able to duck into before the titan noticed she was gone. She couldn't stay there forever, but maybe she could wait for the titan to lose interest in her and make an escape once it was no longer chasing her.

 

She’d just nodded to herself and rounded the next corner, when…

 

-

 

Kara was smiling.

 

Lucy was grinning, too. They were all going to be fine. She knew it.

 

The titan they’d just taken down lay crumpling on the street below them, its flesh already starting to turn into steam.

 

“I told you we could do it,” Lucy called out to Kara, who was standing on the rooftop opposite her. “I told you we’d be fine!”

 

Kara was smiling.

 

And then…

 

And then her face was moving to the side.

 

Her face was…

 

A terrible scream tore through the air as Kara’s legs were separated from her body and the titan who had caught her in its mouth grabbed her roughly around the waist.

 

Lucy screamed, too.

 

She was too stunned to move as she stared at Kara’s thigh bones protruding from the stumps where her legs had been only seconds before.

 

Kara was still struggling, desperately trying to escape the titan’s grip, her mouth and eyes open in terror.

 

Frozen, Lucy watched as one of her best friends was being devoured right in front of her.

 

She would have kept watching, perhaps, if the movement next to her hadn't startled her out of her paralysis.

 

Weapons at the ready, Vasquez charged.

 

“You bastard!” they cried, employing their gear and flying through the air. After what felt like an eternity and no time at all, Vasquez’s blades had severed the piece of flesh at the nape that kept the titan alive.

 

Kara wasn't struggling anymore as she fell to the ground, no longer being kept aloft by the titan’s slackening hand.

 

Before Lucy could follow the mangled body of her friend to the street below, Vasquez was back at her side.

 

“We need to go, Luce. That wasn't the only one,” they said insistently, pointedly keeping their eyes on Lucy’s face and away from what was left of Kara.

 

But Lucy couldn't look away.

 

“It’s my fault,” she whispered, pressing her hand to her mouth as her eyes traced the specks of red blood on Kara’s cheeks. Her friend lay on her back, her arms broken at her sides, her eyes half-closed. “It’s my fault.”

 

She hadn't kept an eye out for any other titans.

 

She’d _gloated_ about their kill.

 

And now?

 

“My fault,” she repeated, her whole body shaking. “What- What am I--”

 

What would she tell Alex, she wondered.

 

What would she tell Alex.

 

A slap across the face brought her back to her own body.

 

Vasquez was staring at her. Their face was ashen, pale with fear and self-loathing and hatred.

 

“We need to go,” they said, grabbing Lucy by the shoulders and shaking her. “Now. We need to go now.”

 

Lucy followed their line of sight and a shiver of fear slid down her back.

 

Six titans were approaching, although the one who had jumped at Kara seemed to have been the only abnormal.

 

Still, two of them were tall enough to reach them without even trying.

 

“We need to get Kara,” Lucy said shakily, afraid to look back at the broken girl in the street. The girl who had helped Lucy with her gear maintenance so many times. Who had held Lucy through more than one nightmare. “We can't leave her here.”

 

What if Kara wasn't dead. What if she was scared. In pain. What if--

 

“Kara’s dead,” Vasquez said hollowly, grabbing Lucy by the hand and pulling her along to the edge of the building. Away from the titans. “Kara’s dead.”

 

Lucy almost puked.

 

-

 

“Shit,” Alex cursed as she saw the second titan right in front of her. It was a big one, too. Easily twelve meters. “Why today?”

 

She couldn't stay where she was.

 

She needed to make a decision.

 

Back or forward.

 

Hiding in one of the buildings was out of the question at this point. For one, the two titans would know where she was since she’d hesitated, and now that there were two of them, they would be able to break the buildings down easily.

 

“Fuck!” she said again as she turned around and ran back the way she’d come.

 

The titan who had been following her was still smiling, but she couldn't focus on that.

 

She evaded its hands as it reached down to grab her, slashing its fingers with her blades when it got too close.

 

With her heart hammering in her chest, she wove around its feet and continued running, hoping that the big thing would take at least some time to turn around. And that the second one would be hindered by the first.

 

_I can't die today_ , she thought fiercely. _Not here, not today. Not without seeing Kara_.

 

She didn't know how much longer she could keep up this pace, but what other options did she have?

 

If she went down one of the side streets, they were just as likely to lead her to a dead end. At this point, a dead end would be her death sentence. She hadn’t spent enough time in Trost to know which roads would lead her to safety.

 

Should she double back again? Turn around and cut the titans at their heels? It would certainly bring them down, but she had no way to move quickly to their necks.

 

And having them closer to the ground - closer to her - might prove even more disastrous. Especially since there were two of them now. While she cut down the first, the second could already make a grab for her.

 

No, no, she had to keep running.

 

Keep running until she found someone who could help her.

 

The thought had barely entered her brain, when she saw something even more terrifying.

 

Another titan.

 

A _third_ titan.

 

This one even taller than the two behind her.

 

Alex almost dropped her blades at the sight. This titan looked unlike any she’d ever seen. It wasn't just tall, it was also covered in small pieces of what seemed to be rock. There was a strip of the stuff on its shins, its forearms and covering its chest. It most closely seemed to resemble… armor?

 

“ _The Armored Titan_ …” Alex whispered to herself. Could it really be the Armored? They’d already seen the Colossal, according to Eren and the others. But no, this couldn't be the abnormal she was thinking of. After all, she hadn't heard anything about the Armored Titan having long, flowing blonde hair. Besides, this titan wasn't covered from head to toe in the protective shell.

 

She was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of cobblestone cracking behind her, and she realized suddenly - again - that she was still being pursued.

 

Quickly, she took off again.

 

Maybe she could slip out in between this new titan’s legs, too.

 

Picking up speed, she readied her blades. A quick glance revealed that the titans behind her were still coming, and just as she turned back around to navigate her escape, she--

 

The hand closed around her quickly.

 

Tightly.

 

“No,” she grunted, staring up at the impassive face of the new arrival. “No, no, no.” She struggled in its grip, but it had clamped its fingers around her arms, keeping her blades at her sides. It was taking all of her concentration not to _drop_ her weapons, considering that her fingers had frozen in terror. “Not like this. Come on.”

 

_Kara needs me_.

 

_Kara_ needs _me_.

 

She’d seen people be devoured right in front of her when she was younger; when she and her parents had fled from Wall Maria. Today, she’d been with the more experienced soldiers, so their death count had been considerably lower. She just never would have thought she’d go out like this.

 

The face of the titan was coming closer and closer, its eyes tracking the movement of its hand, the way Alex’s legs struggled, the way she squirmed in the tight grip.

 

“No,” she said again, desperately trying to twist one of her arms free without breaking it. “I made a promise, you bastard. I made a promise.” Tears were leaking from her eyes now, dripping from her cheeks and onto the hand of the titan that was about to tear her apart without mercy.

 

As she squeezed her eyes shut, she thought back to Kara’s face. To the way she’d been hunched down behind a stack of crates in the building they’d all been stuffed into. How she’d been shivering and crying silently before Alex had found her.

 

She thought back to the way she’d crouched down in front of Kara.

 

To the words she’d spoken five years ago.

 

_You’ll be safe as long as you’re with me. I won’t let anything happen to you, okay? I promise_.

 

Her forehead touched the hot skin of the giant hand clasped around her body.

 

“I made a promise,” she whimpered, feeling the anger well up in her chest all over again.

 

She’d just decided to gnaw her way out of the titan’s hand using whatever strength her jaw muscles could muster, when the low, grumbling sound of words made her freeze yet again.

 

“Al-e-x.”

 

The words were loud, as though they’d been spoken through a foghorn.

 

“Al-e-x. Safe.”

 

Shaking like a leaf, Alex lifted her head and stared at the blonde titan’s face.

 

The hand had stopped moving.

 

Alex’s entire body went lax as the titan repeated her name.

 

The titan.

 

“Wh… Wha…” Alex’s mouth was open and she thought there might have been words coming out of it, but she wasn’t sure. All she could see were the gigantic blue eyes staring at her, and the teeth and tongue curling around the consonants and vowels of her name. _Her name_.

 

“Al-e-x. Safe,” the titan said one last time, before moving the hand forward again, though not towards its mouth. Instead, it set Alex down gently on its shoulder before uncurling its fingers and letting her go.

 

Legs feeling like jelly, Alex immediately sank to her knees, gaze following the fingers that she had been sure were spelling out her death sentence. Instead, somehow, she was sitting _on_ a titan’s shoulder. On top of it. _Safely_.

 

_Am I already dead?_ she wondered silently. _Is this a dream?_

 

As though reality had listened to her silent query, the sound of heavy footsteps once more broke through Alex’s thoughts. The other two titans had closed in on her - her and the _friendly_ titan. The abnormal that could speak. That seemed - at least for the moment - to have no interest in devouring her. That had talked about being _safe_. That knew her goddamn name, somehow.

 

The next sound out of the blonde titan was an angry screech as it started moving, almost knocking Alex off in the process. She barely had enough sense to stab one of her blades into the titan’s shoulder so she would have something to cling onto.

 

Running at full speed, the blonde titan lifted its right arm, before slugging the ten-meter titan directly into its smiling face. Full of terror and a morbid fascination she could barely explain, Alex watched as the blonde titan stomped down on the ten-meter while it kept the twelve-meter at bay with its hands.

 

“It’s crushing the nape,” Alex whispered to herself, swinging her eyes up from the dissolving ten-meter to stare at the dangerously hungry face of the twelve-meter that was uncomfortably close to her own. Even though the blonde titan was holding onto both of the twelve-meter’s arms, its face kept snapping forward.

 

Scrambling back just a bit, Alex swallowed hard as she listened to the blonde titan let out another thunderous screech of rage, before it brought both hands to the other titan’s face and started to _pull_.

 

Alex was already horribly aware of the sound that a head made while it was being pulled from its body, but to see and hear it on a body that was more than ten times the size made her stomach turn.

 

The severed head landed on the ground with a dull thud while the body slowly crumpled to the streets below, already starting to steam. Alex watched on in horror and relief, her hands shaking around the handle of her blade.

 

Now that the two titans were dead, what would happen to her?

 

She had no means of escape, and no way to know if the abnormal titan she was resting on would change its mind about attacking her now that she was the only living thing in its vicinity.

 

Her mind halted abruptly when she saw the giant hand close in on her again.

 

This time, though, she had her blades ready, and she could defend herself if it grabbed for her again.

 

And yet…

 

All it did was hold out its right pointer finger.

 

Half-kneeling, half-standing, Alex raised her blades in anticipation of any horrors that might happen next. Perhaps this abnormal wanted to push her off and watch her fall down? Wait for her to break her back and all the bones in her body before devouring her with even more gusto?

 

But it didn’t move its finger any closer.

 

It just… stood there… waiting…

 

Then, as though realizing that she had no idea what it wanted, it opened its mouth once more to speak.

 

“Al-e-x,” it said, the voice just as deep and raspy as before, as though it had never formed words before this very moment. “Hold.” When she didn’t move, it wiggled its finger back and forth, which was what finally turned on the lightbulb in Alex’s brain.

 

The titan wanted her to hold onto its finger, so it could lift her off its shoulder.

 

It wasn’t grabbing her.

 

It wasn’t forcing her.

 

It was _asking_.

 

This wasn’t a normal titan, she suddenly realized. It was showing clear signs of intelligence and human reasoning. Were there more titans like it out there? Did every abnormal show this level of intelligence? And what had convinced this one to stop devouring humans?

 

“Screw it,” she mumbled, before sticking her blades back into their sheaths. If this titan could help her get back to Kara, she was going to risk it. She was all out of options, anyway. Leaning forward, she wrapped her arms and legs around the titan’s finger and held on as tightly as she could. As she was lifted into the air, she closed her eyes and hoped she hadn’t just made a serious mistake.

 

She was still shaking by the time the titan had set her down on the flat and open palm of its left hand.

 

“Al-e-x. Safe,” the titan repeated, holding her up to its impassive face.

 

There was something strangely familiar about it, as though she knew it as well as it seemed to know her. Something she couldn’t quite put her finger on… She’d never heard of titans who could talk; titans who killed their own kind to protect humans; titans who were gentle and asked for permission.

 

None of it made any sense to her.

 

She was just about to ask the titan a question - a sentence that would have sounded impossible to her even ten minutes ago - when she heard the unmistakable sound of a scream. Both she and the titan turned their heads towards the commotion at the same time, although Alex couldn’t see anything from where she was standing.

 

The blonde titan’s finger was hovering next to Alex not even a second later.

 

It didn’t even have to speak for Alex to understand. This time, it lifted her up onto its head - up into the long strands of hair, as though it was aware of the fact that Alex had been struggling to hold onto its shoulder.

 

“Fuck,” she whispered, wrapping her hands around the soft strands of hair as the titan took off in the direction of the screams. “This can’t be real. This can’t be real.” From this high up, she could see almost the entirety of the Trost district - including the military building where the supply team was supposed to be getting the refills for their air canisters.

 

The screams seemed to be coming from that direction.

 

-

 

Kara’s entire body seemed to be burning, flames licking at her legs and arms.

 

She wanted desperately to move, but she couldn’t.

 

Her bones, her flesh, her sinews weren’t cooperating with her wishes.

 

Twitching in place, Kara’s eyes stared vacantly at the wall across from her without truly taking in what was going on.

 

What _was_ going on?

 

Why was she down here? And where were Lucy and Vasquez? Were they safe?

 

Was she safe?

 

Her eyes didn’t move, even as something big and flesh-colored came into her line of vision. Why couldn’t she focus and take in what was going on? Where was she? And why was her body burning so terribly?

 

There was no fear in her, even as the thing reached out to grab her. The fire that seemed to engulf her was so strong that she didn’t even feel the tight squeezing of the hand wrapped around what was left of her body.

 

What was going on? And why was she suddenly thinking of Alex’s smiling face?

 

As she was hefted into the air, she thought back to the promise her best friend had made to her five years ago. After her parents had been killed during the assault on Shiganshina; Kara had been all alone with no one to hold onto and no one to take care of her.

 

_You’ll be safe as long as you’re with me._

 

Alex had helped her up, had wrapped her up in a hug.

 

Alex had given her a new family.

 

Where was she now? And why wasn’t Kara with her? Why wasn’t Kara by her side?

 

_Whatever you do today, you stay safe, you hear me? You stay safe and come back to me_.

 

The words swirled around in Kara’s mind, trying to reach her higher level of thinking. But all Kara could think about was the way Alex’s nose crinkled so beautifully when she was serious, and how warm and strong her hug had been before they’d been forced to split up this afternoon.

 

_You stay safe and come back to me_.

 

Why couldn’t Kara move?

 

Why couldn’t she feel her legs?

 

_Come back to me_.

 

Kara’s arms twitched and her head lolled back as the giant hand brought her further and further up. Off the ground and into the air.

 

_Come back_.

 

Her body was burning.

 

_To me_.

 

As though she’d been hit by lightning, Kara’s entire body convulsed violently.

 

Then, there was nothing.

 

Nothing but Alex.

 

And the overwhelming desire to come back to her.

 

-

 

“This is crazy,” Alex whispered to herself as she continued to hold onto the strands of blonde hair. Below her, the titan who knew her was making its way as quickly as it could through the Trost district and towards the supply building. Her mind was racing with all kinds of possible scenarios for how this titan could have come to be, yet none of them made any sense whatsoever.

 

There was something so undeniably familiar about it, something Alex couldn’t shake no matter how hard she tried.

 

She just hoped Kara was safe, wherever she was.

 

The military building was surrounded by titans - that was the first thing Alex noticed. The second, much more important thing, was that something was off about their rampage. Mainly, that there already seemed to be a titan, who…

 

“Holy shit,” Alex mumbled, eyes almost bugging out of her head at the sight of a brown-haired titan punching another one in the face. The scene felt eerily similar to the one Alex had just left behind. “How many of you are out there? And why the fuck didn’t you come here sooner?!”

 

Why hadn’t there been any of these abnormal titans when the Colossal and the Armored had been attacking Shiganshina and Wall Maria? Why hadn’t they helped Kara’s parents? Why hadn’t they made sure that Alex’s dad would return when he was sent back into Wall Maria to help _reclaim_ it in what was little more than a thinly disguised attempt at population control?

 

Her hands clenched together as she watched the brown-haired titan continue to fight, but her companion seemed much less interested in the sight than Alex was. Or in the moral quandary of why these abnormals had not seen it fit to step in at any other time.

 

And how the fuck did it know her name?

 

“Al-e-x,” the blonde titan said as it ripped off the head of one of the other titans now around them. It was closer to the military building than before, but Alex could barely see anything through her angry tears. “Safe.”

 

Roughly wiping her face on her sleeve, Alex tried to focus on what was going on right now, and not what could have been in another life. She was a soldier; she didn’t get the luxury to dwell on all the what ifs in her life.

 

Finally focusing her eyes, Alex stared down at the open window that the blonde titan had stopped in front of. It was broken, but Alex couldn’t see anyone else inside. A second later, the titan’s finger was in front of her again.

 

Despite her resentment, Alex latched onto the finger and let herself be put down inside the supply building.

 

Staring up at the big, blue eyes, Alex straightened up her back. She wasn’t scared anymore - she needed to be strong. Talking titans were just one more thing she would have to get used to. Really, it could only work to humanity’s advantage.

 

The titan’s finger didn’t retreat right away. Instead, it softly tapped Alex’s chest.

 

“Stay,” it said, before finally removing its hand. “Stay.”

 

Why was it so concerned for Alex’s safety? And why did it look so much like…

 

As soon as the titan had turned away to throw itself into the fight once more, Alex was pulled backwards and out of the line of sight of any other titans. The attack from behind was so sudden that Alex barely had time to react.

 

“What the fuck.” Jean spat the words directly into her face, his face ashen and sweat running down his cheeks. His blonde hair was messy and there were tear tracks on his face - Alex had never seen him so out of sorts before. “It-- It _talked_ to you! It talked!”

 

She had been dragged behind a row of tables that had been set up to break the line of sight between whoever was hiding inside and the broken windows. From outside, Alex could hear the sounds of angry screaming and breaking bones.

 

Somewhere, at the very back of her mind, she was worried.

 

Worried for the titan who had helped her.

 

Jean wasn’t the only one who was staring at her with horror and disbelief on their faces. None of them wanted to believe that titans could speak, which was just one more thing that made them similar to humans. Alex herself didn’t feel particularly keen on blurring the lines between human and titan.

 

“What about the other abnormal who’s killing his own kind? He can’t talk?” she asked, pushing Jean a little further away from her. The faces around her were achingly familiar after weeks and months of training together, but she was really only looking for one in particular. “Is Kara with you?”

 

At her words, the faces around her turned away.

 

“She didn’t get here with you?” Alex asked, popping up her head from behind the desk she was crouching behind so she could scan everyone who was further away from her. When her eyes landed on Lucy and Vasquez, who were pointedly staring at the floor, her heart stopped beating for a second. “Where is Kara?”

 

“Alex…” Armin said, his horror-stricken face just as white with fear as Jean’s was.

 

“No.” Alex cut him off, her eyes still focused on Lucy and Vasquez. “Tell me where Kara is.” Her voice was shaking despite her best efforts. “Lucy, where is Kara? Did you get separated?” She needed to know if she had to go and look for her best friend. “Vasquez?”

 

“I’m sorry, Alex,” Vasquez replied, rubbing a hand over their face. There were tears in their eyes. “I was too slow. I tried to help her, but--” When their eyes met Alex’s, they welled over, thick drops of water running down their cheeks and falling onto their hands. “I’m so sorry.” They lowered their head in sorrow, while Lucy simply continued to stare down at the wooden floor. She looked to be in shock, still.

 

Alex’s entire body went numb.

 

“Kara is dead,” Mikasa said slowly, her hand closing around Alex’s right bicep. Her quiet, steady voice did little to calm Alex’s racing thoughts. “Eren’s dead, too.” She squeezed Alex’s arm a little tighter. “They’re both dead.”

 

The fact that Eren was dead barely registered with Alex.

 

Then it hit her.

 

Dead.

 

Eren was dead.

 

Kara was dead.

 

Everyone was dead.

 

Suddenly, violently, the meager contents of Alex’s stomach emptied themselves onto the ground behind her. Her entire body convulsed with the retching, no longer numb to the surrounding world and to what her friends had just told her.

 

Kara was dead.

 

Dead, dead, dead.

 

The rage was back now, filling every fiber of her being as she pushed herself to her feet and walked over to a member of the supply team. She reached a girl with pigtails first, someone Alex had never spoken to before. Without uttering a single word, Alex snapped off her own empty canisters of air and threw them to the side.

 

“Give me yours,” she growled at the girl, who was too stunned to react for a moment. Grabbing two fistfuls of the girl’s uniform, Alex spat the words at the girl again, leaving a little pause between each utterance for emphasis. “ _Give me yours_.”

 

“Don’t be stupid, Alex, you’re not going back out there,” Jean snarled at her, even as the girl with the pigtails complied and snapped off her mostly full canisters of air. “Did you see how many titans are out there?”

 

Alex didn’t reply.

 

As soon as she had fastened the canisters, she made for the window, although she didn’t get too far. Before she could jump outside and join the blonde titan in the fight, Armin wrapped himself around her torso.

 

“Going out there right now would be suicide! We have a plan to get resupplied and leave this place for Wall Rose!” He was trying to drag her back, but his spindly little arms could do little against the strength her anger had given her.

 

Nothing mattered now.

 

Nothing.

 

Not without Kara.

 

But Armin wasn’t the only one who had grabbed her at this point.

 

“If you don’t let me go, I will kill every last one of you,” Alex growled quietly, not even bothering to tug herself free from the arms of her friends and fellow soldiers.

 

“You can try,” Mikasa replied quietly, a look of cold determination on her face. “But if you think I’m letting anyone else die today, you’ve got another thing coming.”

 

Alex would have liked nothing better than to slug her.

 

She was on the verge of trying just that, when they heard the sound of a terrible scream from outside. Running to the window, they watched as the brown-haired abnormal fell to the ground in a heap of titans, while the blonde abnormal was trying to tear them off.

 

“They’re eating it,” Jean said with disgust at the display, while Alex only had eyes for a fifteen-meter who was lumbering over to the blonde titan who had saved her. Who _knew_ her. Who looked so much like Kara it made her chest ache.

 

Especially now.

 

Now that Kara was…

 

Using the opportunity of distraction for what it was, Alex deployed her omni-directional mobility gear and flung herself from the window, ignoring the shouts of her name as she zipped towards the fifteen-meter. It never saw her coming, and she cleanly sliced through its nape before directing her gear towards the blonde titan.

 

She landed almost effortlessly on its shoulder.

 

“Come on, we have a fight to win,” she shouted to the titan, who only just noticed she was there. “Let’s go, before these assholes eat your friend.” Using the twenty-meter she was standing on as a launching pad, she flung herself forward once more, cleanly severing the napes of two smaller titans who were munching away at the brown-haired abnormal beneath them.

 

“Al-e-x,” the blonde titan roared just as she returned to its shoulder. “Safe!”

 

“I’m safe enough with you,” she replied, staring up into the gigantic blue eyes.

 

She needed this.

 

A part of her was dying, and she needed to fill it with something.

 

Another roar of anger from the blonde titan was her only response, but it didn’t try to swat her away. Instead, it reached for one of the smaller titans behind them and closed its hands around the nape, squeezing until it popped like a cork from a champagne bottle.

 

Alex took that as her cue to keep going.

 

-

 

Inside the supply building, Lucy was shivering at the sight of Alex swinging back and forth in between the twenty-meter abnormal and the titans that were all around them. Worry was choking her, but she couldn’t look away.

 

Only when _Vasquez_ pulled away from her, did she finally look at them.

 

They were walking over to an unmoving body that had its head blown off.

 

“What are you doing?” she asked, shaking herself out of her stupor. Vasquez was unclipping their empty air canisters and replacing them with the mostly full ones from the corpse. “What are you…”

 

“I’m going out there,” they replied as they got back to their feet. “Alex isn’t herself right now, and she needs some backup.” Walking back over to Lucy, they grabbed her tightly by the shoulders while everyone else was discussing what to do next. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you. I can’t even imagine what Alex must be feeling right now.” They hugged Lucy tightly. “Please stay here.”

 

Lucy could barely speak.

 

She wanted to slap herself. All around her, her friends were dying or risking their lives and here she was, nearly catatonic because she-- because Kara--

 

The hug lasted only a few seconds longer, before Vasquez pulled away.

 

“You and the others get the supplies we need while I help Alex and the abnormals with the titan problem outside,” they said, cupping Lucy’s cheek for a second before moving away from her. “As long as we all work together, we’re getting out of this.”

 

Before one of the others could stop them, they hurled themselves out of the window, shooting directly for the shoulder that Alex was already standing on. Lucy had half a mind to go after them, but then Armin grabbed her forearm.

 

“We need you to be one of the strike team. You’re one of the best,” he said kindly, his eyes following her gaze and fixing themselves on Alex and Vasquez, who were at this very moment launching themselves at a fourteen-meter who was attacking from the left. He shook his head. “We can’t help them without those supplies.”

 

Nodding in understanding, Lucy turned away from the window.

 

Now that Kara was gone, it would fall to Lucy to make sure that Alex made it out of this alive. And she couldn’t do that without the proper gear and the help of her friends. Right now, she would just have to trust that Alex and Vasquez knew what they were doing.

 

And that the twenty-meter high titan with the flowing blonde hair would have their backs.

 

The thought didn’t make her feel any better.

 

-

 

Panting heavily, Alex landed on the blonde titan’s chest and took a second to breathe. Somehow, the swell of titans barely seemed to be stopping - as though they were drawing them in. The answer to her own question presented itself as soon as she thought about it. They _were_ drawing them in; they were a concentration of humans in a single spot inside the city. The titans could smell them, probably. Or _feel_ them, even. She wasn’t sure how it worked.

 

“Alex, you okay?” Vasquez called from the titan’s shoulder. They’d just landed there themself, their blades shaking in their hands. “I don’t have a ton of blades left. How about you? I’m running low on air, too.”

 

“Let’s just say I hope the others know what they’re doing in there,” Alex replied, looking down at her own blades. She was on her last pair and they’d already dulled quite a bit from the continued slicing of titan necks.

 

She and Vasquez were having a tough time keeping their enemies at bay by themselves, especially since the brown-haired abnormal had hardly recovered and was lumbering around behind them with only one arm. Though, to be fair, Alex had been more worried about her own titan than about the other one.

 

“I hope they do it fast,” Vasquez said, bringing their hand up to their forehead. There was blood on their face, and Alex winced in sympathy. A few minutes earlier, Vasquez had had a close call with a ten-meter while Alex had been busy with one of the others. If it hadn’t been for the blonde titan, Alex had a feeling they wouldn’t have made it.

 

The thought filled her with dread.

 

“If you need to take a break, I’m sure the big lug won’t mind if you settle on its head to rest for a second,” Alex offered, patting her hand against the blonde titan’s chest. She had to admit it was an invaluable asset to have an abnormal on their side. Not just because it liked to hit and kill other titans, but because Alex could use it as a jumping off point, which gave her an extra advantage in her strategizing.

 

“I’m good,” Vasquez replied, although they swayed a little just as they said it.

 

Alex immediately swung up to steady them, quietly glad that the blonde titan had reached up with one of its hands to shield them from any attack while they talked. She was on the verge of simply grabbing Vasquez and leaving them behind on top of their abnormal’s head, when they both heard the sound of loud whistling from the supply building.

 

Without hesitation, both Alex and Vasquez swung themselves up to the blonde titan’s head with their gear to see what was going on.

 

The others had gathered on the roof of the supply building, and when they saw Alex and Vasquez, one of them raised their hand and waved them over. Alex was too far away to make out who it was, but she hardly even cared.

 

Waving to indicate that they’d both seen and heard the others, Alex flung herself back down to the blonde titan’s shoulder.

 

“Can you get us closer to the military building again? I think the others are ready to go,” Alex told the abnormal, reaching out with her hand to poke it in the jaw. It nodded slowly, dropped the seven-meter titan it had been crushing, and turned towards the military building.

 

As soon as they were close enough, Alex and Vasquez both attached their gear to the building and swung over to the others, Alex landing a little more gracefully than her friend. Although since they had suffered what seemed to be a pretty nasty head injury, Alex was glad Vasquez could still navigate their gear at all.

 

Lucy walked over to Vasquez as soon as they landed.

 

“What happened to your head?” she asked, before ripping off her left sleeve so she could use it to dab at Vasquez’s wound.

 

“Nothing,” Vasquez replied shyly, clearly enjoying the attention.

 

Ordinarily, Alex would have laughed at her friends’ antics, but now that she’d lost Kara, the sight only depressed her further. Especially because it reminded her of how she usually fussed over Kara and her safety.

 

“Are you all ready to go?” Alex asked matter-of-factly, looking from one comrade to the next. “I think we’ve been here long enough. We’ve done all we can do.” She looked to Reiner, who was standing next to Berthold with a concerned look on his face. “Hey Reiner, can you carry Vasquez on your back? I think they’ve lost a little too much blood.”

 

“Sure, no problem,” Reiner replied with a nod, moving over to Vasquez and clapping his hand onto their shoulder.

 

“We have to take the abnormals with us,” Mikasa said suddenly, after swiping a strand of dark hair out of her eyes. “We need to let everyone know that they’re out there.”

 

“Agreed.” Armin held out a new pair of air canisters to Alex, who took them gratefully and clipped them on right away. “They could prove invaluable in finding out what titans are really made of. And why they want to destroy us so much. Maybe, if these abnormals are docile, we could change the other titans, too.”

 

At their words, Jean let out a derisive snort.

 

“Looks like we can only take one of them home. I’m not so sure about the other.” He pointed at the brown-haired titan, which was slumped against one of the buildings, quietly being devoured by five other titans.

 

Since the blonde titan was still standing next to the military building and keeping others from coming too close to it, the other abnormal was helpless to defend itself. The sight sickened Alex. Before today, she’d never seen cannibalism among them. Just one more disgusting thing to add to the list.

 

“One is better than none, I guess?” Jean added, placing his hands at his waist and shaking his head at the battlefield below them. “Now let’s get out of here.”

 

“Wait.” Mikasa’s sudden exclamation made them all freeze. “There’s something…”

 

Alex saw it a split-second after Mikasa had leapt off the roof.

 

A figure had emerged at the back of the brown-haired titan’s neck.

 

A person.

 

“Eren,” Alex whispered, watching silently as Mikasa pulled Eren free from the flesh of the titan’s neck. He had been connected to it, she realized. As soon as he was free, the brown-haired abnormal began to dissolve like any other titan. “Eren was controlling it.”

 

Her heart hammering in her chest, Alex turned towards the blonde titan, who had stopped next to where Mikasa was cradling Eren in her arms to pull the other titans away from them. As though it had felt Alex’s eyes, it lifted its head to look at her, the blue eyes zeroing in on her straight away.

 

Shaking from head to toe, Alex took a step forward.

 

Eren had been controlling a titan body.

 

Eren was supposed to be dead but there he was.

 

“Kara…” she whispered, dropping her blades into their sheaths and taking another step towards the ledge. “Kara, please… please tell me that’s you.” There was no way the titan could hear her, but that didn’t matter anyway.

 

The eyes; the long, flowing blonde hair; the way it spoke to Alex.

 

It all made sense now.

 

She was in the air before any of the others could stop her.

 

“Kara!” she called out, hoping desperately that she wasn’t wrong.

 

If Eren could be a titan, why couldn’t her best friend?

 

The blonde titan lifted its hand and opened its palm so she could land safely.

 

“Kara,” Alex said again, watching as the blonde titan lifted her closer. “Kara, are you in there?” Raising her hands, Alex walked forward, praying to whatever god might be listening that she wasn’t wrong about this. “Are you okay? Kara?”

 

The titan stared at her for a few agonizing seconds, then it once again tapped her chest with its right pointer finger. Only this time, Alex held onto it not as a means of transportation, but to be close to what she feared and hoped to be the person she loved most in the world.

 

“Al-e-x,” it groaned, the corners of its mouth twitching as though it wanted to smile. “Safe. With me.” It produced a rumbling sound in the back of its throat, which sounded awfully friendly for a creature that seemed to have been bred purely to kill.

 

Though, to Alex, the only thing that mattered was the way the titan’s eyes sparkled.

 

With tears in her eyes, she sank to her knees, her hands finding purchase on the warm skin underneath her. She wept softly as she stroked her fingers along the strong lines that were so familiar to her when they belonged to a hand she usually held in between her own.

 

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Alex whispered, her tears dripping off her face and sliding down the blonde titan’s arm.

 

Kara’s arm.

 

“Thank you for not leaving me alone.” She lifted her head and smiled tearfully at the gigantic face hovering in front of her own. “Thank you for coming back to me.” Kara seemed at a loss for what to do in her gigantic form. Taking pity on her, Alex shook her head. “Let’s pick up Mikasa and Eren and get the hell out of here, okay? I think we’ve done enough.”

 

Turning to the side, Kara swept a five-meter aside that had been trying to climb up to where Mikasa and Eren were perched, before lowering her free hand towards them. Startled, Mikasa stared up at them - clearly hesitant - before she dragged both herself and Eren onto the open palm, which swiftly lifted them up into the air and out of danger.

 

After roughly wiping her face free of tears, Alex jumped off of Kara’s hand and onto her shoulder, so she could keep an eye out for any threats that might come at them from the side. Now that she was fairly certain that her twenty-meter abnormal was being steered by her best friend, she had even more incentive to keep it safe.

 

She waved to let the others on the roof know that it was time to go, and watched silently as Vasquez climbed onto Reiner’s back.

 

“We need to go back to Wall Rose,” Alex told Kara, stretching out her hand and laying it on the skin behind Kara’s ear. “Can you get us there? I think Eren needs a doctor.” She wanted nothing more than to get Kara out of this titan, so she could wrap her up in the tightest hug she could muster, but they needed to get away from the Trost district first. And whether she liked it or not, Kara’s titan form was a much easier and safer way for them to get around than her omni-directional mobility gear.

 

With a nod, Kara started to walk away from the military building, cradling Mikasa and Eren close to her chest.

 

“Is he okay?” Alex called down to her friend, who was staring at Eren’s face as though she’d never seen anything more precious in her life. Alex could relate to her feelings all too well - she was pretty sure she’d been staring at her twenty-meter titan the same way ever since she’d connected the dots.

 

“He’s breathing,” Mikasa shouted back, just as Armin landed next to her. His face was ashen and sweaty with disbelief, though he had the same expression of awe written all over him. From the way he looked now, Alex wondered if he’d had to watch his best friend be devoured, and whether or not he would ever be the same.

 

Alex asked herself the same question. She might not have been there when Kara had been attacked, but she doubted she would ever sleep well again without Kara by her side. Or that she would ever forget what it had been like to think her best friend was dead.

 

Her hand moved to the back of Kara’s ear of its own accord, gently stroking back and forth in a soothing manner. While the other soldiers zipped through the streets all around her, Alex hoped whoever was left to guard Wall Rose wouldn’t start shooting on Kara as soon as they saw them. It would be hard to explain that Kara’s titan form wasn’t something to be feared.

 

“Thank you for saving me,” she told Kara without looking at her. “I don’t know how much longer I could have held out without you.”

 

A low gurgle from Kara’s massive throat was her only response, but Alex understood it all too well. If it had been her, she would have done the same thing for Kara, and neither of them truly needed to thank the other. Still, she felt better now that she’d said it.

 

And whatever came next, she would make sure the higher ups understood that they would need to tear Kara from her cold dead hands if they wanted to harm her - in whatever form she happened to be. Human or titan, Kara was the closest thing Alex had to family outside of her mother, and if anyone wanted to take that away from her, there would be hell to pay.

 

“Stay alive, Kara,” Alex said with all the conviction she could muster. “We don’t know how everyone else will react, but whatever they want to do with you, you _stay alive_. If they take you away, I will find you and break you out.”

 

Maneuvering swiftly around a church, Kara let out another gurgle of understanding.

 

The wall was getting closer and closer.

 

“Al-e-x,” Kara groaned, lifting her left hand to her right shoulder so Alex could touch it. “Love.”

 

The expression almost brought another bout of tears to Alex’s eyes.

 

“I love you, too.” Breathing slowly through her nose, Alex squeezed Kara’s gigantic finger. “We’ll get through this together. We always do.” As long as she had Kara, she could be strong. As long as she had Kara, nothing could ever tear her down.

 

The first canon detonated just as those thoughts entered Alex’s brain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *forced-grin emoji*
> 
> in my defense, I'm really proud of how this turned, soooo you really can't be too mad at me
> 
> xoxo love you see you tomorrow
> 
> all mistakes are my own
> 
> if you want to support me or yell at me, find me on tumblr @goshdarnitjay. If anyone knows how to draw pls contact me so we can make a proper mock-up of what Kara's titan form looks like plsssss


	4. i don't know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **For** : murderiread
> 
> **Prompt/word** : "Awkward/Awkward Situation" [Alex x Kara; Fluff/Angst]
> 
> **One shot summary** : "Kara masturbates. Things get weird."
> 
> **Warning** : Descriptions of masturbation.

Kara’s breathing was out of control, and she squeezed her eyes shut to keep her heat vision at bay, her hand moving frantically between her own legs, drawing stronger and stronger circles around her clit.

She was having a lonely Wednesday night at her apartment.

J’onn was out with M’gann, Lucy was having dinner with Vasquez, and Alex was on a third date with the woman she’d been seeing recently. All in all, Kara had been feeling pretty left out, even though Winn had offered that she could accompany him to one of the LARPing events he frequently attended. In the end, she’d declined his invitation.

Now, hours after she’d left the D.E.O., Kara was sitting on her couch with her feet on the coffee table, one hand in her pajama pants and one gripping the arm of the couch. Her head was pressed against the backrest and her eyes were firmly shut, her mouth wide open.

The TV was off, because Kara had felt a little weird masturbating to Lexie Grey’s face, even though she had to admit it was pretty attractive. And it reminded her all too much of…

“ _Alex_ ,” she groaned, sliding her fingers down into her wetness before moving them back up to her pulsing clit. In her mind, the fingers gliding over hers were her big sister’s, interspersed with a flick of her tongue.

When she’d sat down in front of the television, she hadn’t intended to end up like this. In fact, she’d been very determined to watch old _Grey_ _’s Anatomy_ episodes, eat a few tubs of ice cream, and drift off on the couch before Alex could call her about her third date.

She felt a little bad about it, but the thought of spending one more second listening to Alex gush about this new woman in her life sounded like absolute torture. Especially since Alex had hinted that she was thinking about finally sleeping with her new dating prospect, something which filled Kara with so much jealousy she’d almost blown a gasket in her eye trying to keep her emotions inside.

Her toes curled as she arched into her own hand, biting her bottom lip as she upped the pace again, before slowing down to torture herself.

She’d gotten into two episodes when she’d thought about the sparring she and Alex had done earlier that day. One thing had led to another, and suddenly Kara’s mind had been filled with the memories of how Alex had pressed her into the mattress after one of her more elaborate throwing moves.

Their bodies had been touching practically from head to toe, and Alex’s face had been almost nuzzled into Kara’s neck, her hand twisting Kara’s arm behind her back. Even though Kara hardly ever admitted it to herself, she wanted nothing more than for Alex to take control – take whatever she wanted from her.

After turning off the TV, she’d at least turned on the radio, because she didn’t want her neighbors to hear what she was up to. Sometimes, the walls could be kind of thin, especially when it came to embarrassing noises she rather wouldn’t hear. Although maybe that was just Kara’s super hearing going haywire.

She imagined what Alex might say if she saw her like this, touching herself to the thought of her. In an ideal world, she imagined the whole situation could be quite erotic. Especially since Alex watching her touch herself was one of Kara’s favorite fantasies.

_Such a good girl_ , Alex said in her mind, her eyes taking in Kara’s desperately writhing body. _So wet and ready for me. Do you want my hands on you, Kara? Do you want my fingers?_ Alex’s eyes would twinkle in that special way they did when she was feeling especially mischievous, and Kara was powerless to resist the mental image.

“Shit,” she whispered when her fingers slipped over her clit just right. “Yes, I want your fingers.”

The sound of her own voice barely startled her anymore. When she’d been younger, and sharing a room with her foster sister, she’d always had to be as quiet as a mouse. She’d never touched herself while Alex was in the room with her, but there had still been the possibility of _someone_ overhearing what she was doing. But now that she had her own place, she didn’t have to be so worried.

In her head, Alex straddled her body, hands placed on the backrest. She skimmed her lips across Kara’s cheek, and Kara was half-convinced she could feel the soft exhale of breath on her face.

“Alex,” she whimpered again, her fingers sliding down and into herself, before moving up to her clit again. “Touch me. Please.” She’d begged an imaginary Alex too many times to keep count.

_That_ _’s something you don_ _’t see every day_ , Alex’s voice whispered in Kara’s mind. _The big, strong Kryptonian_ _… begging for release. I hope you only act like this for me. I don_ _’t want word to get out that Supergirl will submit to just anyone_.

“Just you,” Kara husked, her voice desperately horse. “Just you… Alex. _Alex_.”

She wished she could touch, but she kept her free hand firmly on the couch. Trying to touch always ruined the illusion.

“I’m so close.” Her breath was coming out in short pants now as she continued to pleasure herself, the movements of her hand becoming a little jerky. If only she could really feel Alex’s hands in her hair, scratching down her scalp.

_I can_ _’t wait to see you come for me_. Alex’s voice swirled around Kara’s mind, only heightening the experience for her. _No one else can make you feel this way. You_ _’re all mine_ _– no one else can have you, you understand?_

“No one else,” Kara whined, her thighs starting to shake with her impending orgasm.

When she finally came, it was with a desperate whine of her foster sister’s name, her head pressing even harder against the back of the couch. It had taken years to perfect pleasuring herself without breaking every piece of furniture she was perched on – which was good, because her orgasms tended to be stronger when she indulged in her favorite fantasy.

When her body finally relaxed, Kara’s clit was still pulsing with pleasure, and she spent a couple of seconds indulging herself and sending additional shudders through her body by rubbing it leisurely. She had a few more orgasms left in her, she knew, but for now it just felt nice to bask in the after effects of her first one.

Lifting her free hand, she swiped a sweaty strand of hair out of her face and let out a slow sigh.

This was going to be a long evening.

-

Alex never called her to talk about that third date.

-

Alex jumped when Kara clapped her on the shoulder.

“Hey! Where have you been all day? I was looking for you,” Kara said enthusiastically, squeezing Alex’s shoulder before swinging herself up on the work bench next to where Alex was working with her microscope. “I had to get lunch with Mon-El… Not exactly my idea of a good time.”

“Oh, you know…” Alex replied with a small shrug, keeping her eyes turned to the microscope. “Just had some work to do around the place.” She shrugged again. “Sorry.”

Screwing up her face, Kara let her legs swing back and forth.

“Are you still mad at me that I watched the new _Miss Fisher_ _’s Murder Mysteries_ episode without you? Because it’s not my fault that you needed to go on a date that night.” Kara’s boot caught Alex’s shin and kicked it accusingly. She frowned even harder when Alex pulled away her leg. “Seriously, what’s going on with you?”

“Nothing,” Alex insisted, giving Kara what was surely meant to be a reassuring look. “I’m just busy.”

Pouting, Kara pushed herself off the workbench.

“That’s the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard.” Placing her hands on her waist, Kara gave Alex a searching look. “Did something go wrong with your date? You didn’t call me.” After her extensive masturbation session, Kara had felt a lot more relaxed, and so she’d stayed up to wait for her big sister’s call. When it hadn’t come, Kara had been worried enough to send a text.

She was waiting for a reply to that, too.

“Everything’s fine, Kara, I’m serious.” Alex still wasn’t quite looking at her. “Everything’s fine with Selina. I was just a little tired last night.”

“Okay…” Kara acquiesced, deciding that trying to keep talking to her foster sister when she was this closed off wouldn’t lead them anywhere, aside from into an argument. “I just want you to know that you can always come talk to me, about anything.”

Even then, Alex didn’t say anything, although Kara had the strangest feeling that she wanted to.

“I’ll let you get back to work.” Taking a step back, Kara lifted one of her shoulders. “If you change your mind about whatever’s bothering you, I’ll be sparring downstairs. All afternoon. I’m giving James and Mon-El lessons in handling a couple of possible alien threats.”

“Sure.” Alex’s aloof non-committal reply followed Kara all the way down the stairs.

-

“Ow, ow, ow,” Mon-El screeched from the floor, his arm twisted uncomfortably behind his back. “Easy, easy, Kara, you’re breaking my wrist.” His face was pushed down into the mattress, and it was as though Kara came back to her own body.

“Sorry,” she said, immediately letting go of Mon-El and taking a step back. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

While Mon-El pushed himself into a sitting position and rubbed his wrist, James walked over to Kara and placed a hand on her shoulder. A look of concern was written plain as day on his face, and a part of Kara wished she’d stuck it out longer as his girlfriend. He really was nice.

But she knew letting him believe that her feelings matched his own would have been cruel.

“You okay there, Supergirl?” he asked, giving her shoulder a friendly pat. “This is the third time you almost twisted off Slavery Man’s arm.” He shifted a few inches to the left so he could kick Mon-El’s leg a couple of times.

To his credit, Mon-El had learned not to act offended about the nickname. He was still practicing how to be a decent person, but at least he understood that his participation in Daxam’s horrible system had been a mistake. Still, he would have a long way to go before any one of them treated him like they had before the revelation.

“I know,” Kara whined, taking a step back so she could punch one of the practice dummies in the chest. It rocked back dangerously far, before snapping back to receive the next punch. “Alex is acting weird and I don’t know why. She won’t tell me. She was super awkward.”

Pushing himself to his feet, Mon-El continued to rub his wrist.

“Well, did you say anything to piss her off?” he asked, taking the opportunity of idle chit chat to lean against the wall – he still loved slacking off more than a superhero was supposed to. “When she came in this morning, she yelled at me, so… maybe it’s not you.”

“She always yells at you,” James countered, before he joined Kara at the dummy station to test his own strength. As was to be expected, his hits didn’t register nearly as much with the dummy as Kara’s did. “Did she give you any indication of why she’s acting like this, Kara?”

“No,” Kara said morosely, aiming a kick at the dummy’s head next. “She didn’t call me last night after her date, so maybe it’s got something to do with this new woman she’s been dating, but… Ugh.” She gave into her frustration and burned the test dummy’s face to a crisp. “She always talked to me about _Maggie_ ; I don’t know why this would be any different.”

Leaning his arm against his own dummy, James gave her a slightly worried glance.

He was one of her best friends, and he hated seeing her so hurt.

“Maybe you need to give her some time,” he suggested, reaching over so he could give her bicep a friendly little slap. “You guys always work it out in the end. Maybe she’s embarrassed about something and doesn’t know how to tell you. Lucy and I had that same problem sometimes.”

Kara didn’t bother mentioning that the scenario wasn’t exactly applicable, because she and Alex weren’t together.

“Or,” Mon-El chipped in from the side, “you could just talk to J’onn and ask him to read her mind.”

He said it as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, but all it did was cause Kara’s eyes to roll in their sockets. Bringing her hands up, Kara massaged her temples and tried not to explode at her superhero pupil for the fourth time this week.

“I’m not going to ask J’onn to spy on Alex for me _against her will_ ,” she ground out through her teeth, giving Mon-El a very pointed look. He picked up on her shift in mood right away and nodded obediently.

“Right, right, of course,” he said, waving his hand around as though he’d merely been joking. “Because that would be…” At another look from her, he nodded again. “ _Wrong_. Totally wrong. Unethical, even!” He folded his hands in front of his body and tried to look as innocent as he could.

It didn’t work.

-

Kara spent the rest of the afternoon sulking through the training exercises she’d prepared for her two students. It didn’t help that Alex had helped her to set up most of them and that Kara couldn’t stop thinking about how happy Alex had been as they’d thought up the challenges.

Once she was done, she made her way back up to the lab, only to discover that Alex had already left for the day.

Deciding to heed James’s advice, Kara left the D.E.O. after saying goodbye to everybody. He was right, anyway. Alex would come to her when she felt comfortable to discuss whatever was bugging her. It would only make things worse if Kara tried to seek her out.

On her flight home, she stopped a couple of minor incidents, which made her feel a little better about her day. Especially when she reached her balcony and saw that no one was waiting for her.

A part of her had hoped that Alex had already made up her mind.

With a sigh, Kara went back out as Supergirl.

It was infinitely better than sitting at home and thinking about what could possibly be making Alex feel so awkward around her.

-

“Are you still being weird?” Kara asked the next day as she poked her head into the lab. She’d had Winn text her the second Alex entered the room, and although she’d told him to be inconspicuous, Alex shot him a dirty look right after Kara had entered the room. “Winn agrees that you’re being weird.”

“Do not pull me into this!” he shrieked, before hiding behind one of the big machines Alex used to do her experiments. “I’m the only one in this room who doesn’t have superpowers of some sort, I think that should give me a certain level of protection from violence.”

At his words, Alex rolled her eyes.

Winn still didn’t believe that she was just a regular human like he was.

“I’m not acting weird,” Alex insisted, her eyes fixed somewhere above Kara’s right shoulder.

“I’m not having this discussion again.” Sighing, Kara slumped back out of the door, although not without giving Alex her puppy dog eyes. “If you don’t tell me what’s bothering you, I can’t help you. And if I’ve done something and you won’t tell me what it was, then I can’t make it right. I went back through every conversation and interaction we had, and I don’t know what I could have possibly done to make you feel so… _stiff_.”

“I said there’s no—” Before Alex could finish her sentence, Kara whipped up her hands.

“Like I said, not having this discussion again,” she replied quickly. “I’ll see you later, I guess.” Turning around, Kara left the lab to return to CatCo, where Lena was already waiting for her. At least she hadn’t heard about Alex being weird yet, so that was a prime opportunity for Kara to have another whine about the entire situation.

-

Lena, at least, offered to talk to Alex herself, but Kara turned her down after only a second of hesitation. Over the last few months, Alex and Lena had certainly become friendly with one another, but their relationship was mostly centered around their mutual appreciation of Kara – and since Kara seemed to be the problem…

“I could have my people hack into the video feed at the restaurant your sister went to on her date,” Lena said casually while leaning back on the couch. They were sitting in Miss Grant’s old office, which had become somewhat of a new home for Kara since Lena had taken over the newspaper. “See if anything untoward happened between your sister and her new girlfriend.”

“They’re not girlfriends,” Kara said automatically, instantly regretting her own words. “Don’t even—”

“I didn’t say anything,” Lena replied innocently, folding her hands on her crossed knees. “You’ve made it cleat that you don’t want to talk about your obvious attraction to your foster sister, and I’m not about to broach the topic.”

Kara glared for a second, before slumping down a little further on the other couch.

“Why are we friends again?” she asked, desperately ruing the day she’d made friends with Lena Luthor and her stupid lesbian perception. She always knew when Kara wasn’t telling the truth about Alex, and it didn’t make things any easier for her.

“Because I’m so rich and famous,” Lena teased her with a smile, before her face turned serious again. “I wish I could help you, but if Alex doesn’t want to talk, she doesn’t want to talk.” She reached across the glass coffee table so she could lay a soothing hand on Kara’s knee. “She’ll come around. She always does.”

With a big sigh, Kara once again accepted that she couldn’t force the issue.

No matter how much she wanted to.

-

Patience had never been one of Kara’s strong suits. Usually, she punched first and asked questions later. Most of the time, it even worked.

Unless she was dealing with her stubborn foster sister, of course.

Staring down at her phone, Kara contemplated simply texting Alex.

After five days of almost no meaningful communication, she was growing somewhat antsy.

Although she’d stopped asking Alex what the problem was, she still felt the ever-lingering awkwardness between them whenever her sister looked at her. And whenever they were close enough to be touching, Kara felt like Alex was pulling away from her. Just slightly. Slowly. Like she didn’t want Kara to know.

But Kara knew.

She always knew.

Groaning in annoyance, Kara put her phone on the coffee table and laid down on the couch.

This was stupid.

Alex was stupid.

She contemplated leaving Alex a voice message and telling her that she was being a jerk, but then she threw out the idea. No matter the reason why Alex was acting so strangely, she knew her sister wasn’t being mean on purpose.

That only made it more frustrating.

-

Two weeks after Alex had started acting weird, Kara gave up on ever finding out what was wrong. She’d talked to everyone she knew about it – she’d even asked Alex during a particularly harrowing moment out in the field, right after Alex had pushed Kara out of the way of a plasma blast.

Nothing worked, not even the obvious emotional manipulation.

Now, she was sprawled over her couch, her legs dangling off one of the armrests and her hand clasping a special, Kryptonian ice cream spoon that Alex had made for her. It was especially sturdy, because it had been forged from Kryptonian steel, interwoven with the finest traces of kryptonite possible.

Before this one, Kara had gone through a number of spoons in her life.

Distracted eating was dangerous.

The TV was playing the new episode of _Miss Fisher_ _’s Murder Mysteries_ (Kara still couldn’t believe it had been renewed for a fourth season after the movie had come out), but Kara was barely paying attention to it. Watching it without Alex just wasn’t the same.

Not only had it been two weeks since Alex had acted even vaguely normal around her, it had also been _three_ weeks since their last sister night. Again, Kara was lonely, although tonight she didn’t particularly feel like getting herself off.

Picking up her phone, Kara dialed the number four on her speed dial.

“Kara, hey, what’s up?” Lucy said as soon as she picked up the phone. “Trouble in National City?”

“More like trouble in paradise,” Kara sulked openly, letting her feet swing back and forth while she clutched a pillow to her belly. “Alex has been acting totally weird and I’ve tried everything. I’ve given her space; I asked her directly; I’ve been super patient.”

“That’s one thing I don’t miss,” Lucy said with a laugh. “Alex’s stubbornness.” When Kara sighed, Lucy sobered up. “If she doesn’t stop acting like she’s got a problem, maybe you should come up North to Gotham City to get away for a bit.”

At her words, Kara sat up straight.

“Are you serious? Because that sounds great,” she said, already on her feet and running over to her bedroom, so she could start throwing clothes into a bag. “I could fly over tonight, if you don’t mind. I’m so bored.”

Bored sounded better than lonely.

“Yeah, sure. I don’t think we have enough food in the pantry to feed you, though.” Kara heard muffling from the other side of the line. Then, she listened as Lucy called out to Vasquez, her voice turned away from the receiver. “Sweetheart, can you run down to the store and pick up more groceries? Kara’s coming over for a spontaneous visit.” Once the affirmative had been given, Lucy’s voice turned back to the phone. “Alright, Vasquez is picking up some more stuff.”

Kara almost teared up at how awesome her friends were.

“I miss you,” she said, taking a second to sit down on her bed. “Transfer back to National City.”

“I’m thinking about it, trust me. You’re a lot easier to deal with than the big bat.”

-

“Do you want to talk more about Big Danvers?” Lucy asked her a few minutes after they had started watching some inconsequential game show on TV. “Or should we turn this place into an Alex-free zone for the next few days?”

Kara was curled against Lucy’s right shoulder, and she didn’t bother looking up.

“I think I’ve talked about it too much, at this point,” she said with a sigh, gripping Lucy’s soft sweater a little tighter, careful not to rip it. After a moment, Vasquez’s hand came into view and covered Kara’s. They were sitting to Lucy’s left and had their right arm wrapped around Lucy’s shoulders.

“Alex-free zone it is, then,” they said, their voice warm and gentle and just what Kara needed right at this moment. Before, she’d felt a little bad about crashing her friends’ comfortable evening. But now that she was actually here, she was just glad she’d decided to go.

“I love you guys,” Kara said, closing her eyes and relaxing for the first time in what felt like days. “If I have to, I’ll fill out your transfer papers back to National City myself.”

Lucy snorted.

-

Kara had just finished her third hot dog of the day, when her phone buzzed in her pocket. She was out and about in Gotham City, stopping occasionally at one of the food vendors to pick up a treat for herself.

After she’d thrown away the food wrapper, she plucked her phone from her pocket and stared down at the screen.

_Alex Danvers is calling_ _…_

Feeling particularly petulant, she rejected the call, although she regretted it about as soon as she’d done it. Annoyed at herself, Kara leaned against one of the many tall buildings around her and called her sister back.

It took a good few rings for Alex to pick up.

“Hey,” Alex said, sounding unhappy about something.

“Hey yourself,” Kara replied, a frown appearing on her face. “Everything okay at the D.E.O.?”

“Yes.” Alex’s words were just as awkward as they had been for the entire last two weeks. “We’re fine.”

With a sigh, Kara started walking again.

This called for some more comfort food.

“Are we ever going to go back to normal again?” Kara asked tentatively, kicking a stone on the sidewalk and regretting it instantly as it zipped into a nearby building, leaving a large dent behind in the stone. Before anyone could notice, she hurried onwards. “I miss you.”

Alex was quiet for a beat, then Kara could hear a soft intake of breath.

“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to shut you out,” Alex said tentatively, as though she barely believed her own words.

“Don’t lie to me.” Kara ducked into one of the many dark alleyways all over the city. “You clearly didn’t want to talk to me, and I don’t understand why.” There was a frog lodged in her throat now. At first, it had simply been frustrating to feel Alex pull away – now, it was almost painful. “If you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I can’t help you _fix_ it.”

A frustrated noise reached Kara’s ears.

“There’s nothing to fix, that’s the problem,” Alex finally said.

“Fine, let’s pretend there really is nothing wrong and that there is no problem and that I’m not at fault,” Kara said haughtily while she continued to make her way down the alley. “If everything’s so _great_ , why have you been ignoring me for the past two weeks? And why are we having this conversation over the _phone_?”

A man with a scraggly beard suddenly appeared from behind Kara – clearly having seen a young, ostensibly vulnerable woman walk into a dark, secluded place – and demanded her wallet, shaking a gun around with his hand.

Rolling her eyes, Kara simply grabbed the gun and crushed it with her fingers while she waited for Alex to answer.

The man paled.

“I thought this might be easier over the phone,” Alex finally admitted while Kara watched the man with the scraggly beard run away from her. She barely cared – even if she brought him in, he’d be back out on the streets in no time. Somehow, Gotham City rarely managed to keep its criminals locked up.

Shaking her head, Kara sighed.

“I’ll be back in National City on Saturday,” she said, suddenly feeling tired. “How about we have a movie night.” It was meant to be an olive branch, and she hoped that her big sister would take it, because she needed Alex. She always needed Alex. “And then you can tell me what’s wrong.”

When she emerged on the other side of the alley, Kara saw that she’d come out next to a Vietnamese take-out restaurant and her mood immediately lifted. She needed something spicy right now, something to burn away the sadness she felt.

It didn’t take much longer for Alex to agree.

As soon as she had, Kara ended the call.

She just wanted to get past whatever the issue was.

At this point, it really wasn’t funny anymore.

-

Shouldering her way into her apartment, Kara dragged the life-sized paper cut-out of Batwoman inside. Flying home without damaging it had been a nightmare, especially when it had looked as though she was going to encounter some rain clouds.

Now that she was home, she set it down next to the door and let out an exhausted little sigh.

She didn’t jump when Alex came into view.

Kara had picked up on her sister’s nervous heartbeat as soon a she’d stepped through the front door downstairs.

Kicking the door shut, Kara crossed her arms over her chest and gave Alex an appraising look. She seemed a little thinner than Kara liked, and even though her make-up was as impeccable as always, Kara thought she saw some bags under her eyes.

Whatever the problem was, it seemed to have caused Alex as much grief as it had Kara – albeit in an entirely different way.

“Hey,” Kara said as she took off her glasses and walked further inside. “How long have you been here?”

“Not too long.” Alex was clearly lying, but Kara didn’t call her out on it. Instead, she picked up her duffel bag and carried it over to the bathroom. She’d have some serious washing to do tomorrow, especially since she’d splurged on more than a few new clothes. “Looks like you found a decent amount of merch in Gotham. Did you have a good time?”

Looking back over to Alex, Kara pulled at the bottom of her new, black t-shirt. It sported the Batfamily logo proudly on its chest in a bright yellow color. The yellow sweatshirt she wore on top of it wasn’t much different – only that it had a black Batfamily logo on the back.

“Kate made me get all of this stuff,” Kara replied, pointing at the life-size cut-out. “Revenge for that time I made her get a Supergirl cape, I guess.”

The awkwardness was so thick Kara was pretty sure she could have cut it with a knife.

Or her heat vision.

She’d just turned back towards the bathroom when Alex’s voice cut through the stillness of the apartment and made every other thought in Kara’s brain disappear.

“I saw you masturbate on the couch three weeks ago,” she said quickly, as though admitting to it was causing her physical pain. “My date was over sooner than I thought, so I figured I’d just come by to say hi, and then I saw you.” Kara’s back was still turned, and she didn’t think she’d ever want to turn around to face what was unfolding behind her. “I wanted to get out right away, but then you were… talking.”

Closing her eyes, Kara rubbed her hand across her face.

“I didn’t want to embarrass you, so I left.” Another sound intertwined with Alex’s words – cloth being spun around and around a finger; one of Alex’s favorite nervous ticks. Fiddling with the sleeves of her thin sweaters.

“How much did you hear?” Kara asked quietly, before wrapping her hand around the handle of her bathroom door.

_How much do you hate me_ , she wanted to add.

“Kara…” There was a pleading quality to her voice, but Kara couldn’t turn around. “I’m sorry. I know I should have knocked or rung the bell or _something_.” She sighed, and Kara walked into the bathroom to put her bag down next to the washing machine.

_Of course_ Alex wouldn’t want to talk to her after she’d seen… after she’d _heard_ the way Kara had talked to the imaginary version of her. Why hadn’t she paid more attention to her surroundings? She usually picked up on things she didn’t even _want_ to hear, but she hadn’t noticed Alex inside of her own damn apartment?

Clenching her jaw, Kara almost ripped the duffle bag in half before just letting it drop.

This was a disaster.

If anyone else had seen her masturbate, Kara would have been flustered, maybe. Awkward, embarrassed, perhaps even a little ashamed to be using thoughts of Alex to get herself off. But having Alex _herself_ witness the whole thing?

She had half a mind to jump out of the window and simply fly away.

“Kara…”

This time, she’d heard and felt her big sister come closer, but Kara didn’t make a move to stop her.

“You don’t have to apologize, Alex,” Kara replied, crossing her arms over her chest and keeping her face turned away. “I’m sorry you had to walk in on that.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Alex insisted, her heart beating quickly in her chest. “It just… it surprised me. I needed some time to think about it.” There was frustration in her voice. “I should have told you about it sooner.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Kara said quickly, before using a bit of her super speed to leave the bathroom without having to face Alex. She stopped next to the kitchen island – she couldn’t even _look_ at the couch. As soon as Alex had followed her out, Kara continued. “I know you don’t feel the same, so I didn’t bother bringing it up. Again, I’m sorry you had to see that – I hope we can move past it, somehow. But if you don’t want to see me for a while…”

Alex was shaking her head.

“You’re not listening to me,” she said, joining Kara next to the kitchen island. “I was standing there and I… I couldn’t…” She raked her hands through her hair. “I couldn’t look away, Kara.” The frustration was back. “I don’t know what to do. I’ve been trying to make sense of this for three weeks and I—I don’t _know_.”

Head snapping up, Kara stared at her big sister’s exasperated face.

“You… do you like me back?” was her first question, although the expression on Alex’s face didn’t make her feel better in the slightest.

“I don’t know; that’s the thing!” Alex exclaimed, confusion and pain etched onto her every feature. “I’ve been trying to keep you safe for so long and I—I never thought about what or who I wanted, and then I met Maggie, and… and what I felt for Maggie…” Her nose was getting redder and redder by the second, a surefire sign that she was on the verge of breaking out into tears.

“Hey, hey,” Kara whispered gently, moving around the island so she could wrap Alex up in her arms. “Shh, it’s okay. You don’t have to figure anything out. I’m sorry I pushed you so hard.” The last time she’d seen Alex so distraught had been when she and Maggie had broken up. “What we have now is enough for me. It’s more than enough.”

Alex’s arms immediately wrapped themselves around her to hold her tightly, her nose finding refuge in Kara’s shoulder. She wasn’t shaking, which was a good sign, but Kara still didn’t let her go. Instead, she ran her hand through Alex’s hair and shushed her a little more.

Never in a million years would she have expected this reaction.

A definitive no, maybe; even a tentative yes, perhaps, in her happier moments.

But not this.

“I’m sorry,” Alex sniffled, clutching even tighter at Kara’s back. “I wish I could give you a better answer, but I just—I’ve tried so hard not to think about you as anything but my sister, and then when I saw you…”

“It threw you for a loop?” Kara offered, softly rocking Alex from side to side. Her words were met with a watery laugh, which made her feel a little better.

“Yeah, you could say that,” Alex admitted, pulling away so she could wipe the tears from her cheeks. Reaching out, Kara squeezed Alex’s shoulder. Her earlier dread had all but vanished – the only thing that mattered now was to make Alex feel better, no matter what. “I broke up with Selina. I mean… I explained the situation, sort of. We’re still hanging out as friends, but… I can’t date her, and figure out the other stuff.”

Even though she didn’t really feel sorry that Alex was once again single, Kara felt a wave of guilt break over her. For all intents and purposes, Selina had sounded like an amazing woman, even if Kara wanted to wring her neck every time she thought about her stupid, sexy self.

“I’m sorry,” Kara said, lovingly rubbing Alex’s shoulder.

“Nah.” Alex shrugged. “I don’t think I was ready to date again, anyway.” Slowly, Alex lifted her eyes back to Kara’s face. “I need some more time to think about this, but I hate not talking to you. I need to learn what it means to see you as something other than my little sister, because right now I feel pretty gross for…”

“Watching me masturbate,” Kara said, trying to lift the mood. Just a little.

Alex grimaced, but the tension in her shoulders ceased a smidge.

“Yes,” she said, nodding. “Yes, that.”

Smiling kindly, Kara leaned forward to press the faintest of kisses against Alex’s cheek.

“If it’s any help, I don’t think you’re gross,” Kara whispered.

Alex’s blush spread from her nose to her cheeks.

It was sweet, but Kara reminded herself that she needed to keep herself in check.

“As long as you talk to me, and actually communicate when you have a problem, I think we’ll be fine,” she said, leaning in to give Alex another hug. “Not talking to you frigging sucks, by the way. I missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too,” Alex admitted, nuzzling her nose against Kara’s shoulder.

For the first time in three weeks, Kara felt secure in the knowledge that they would be fine.

It was a good feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a bit late, because i had a test yesterday and spent all day on it. hope you got something out of this anyway!
> 
> all mistakes are mine
> 
> if you want to support me, find me @goshdarnitjay on tumblr xoxo


	5. very hot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For: JoyfulTemplar
> 
> Prompt/word: "Take-Out" [Alex x Kara; Fluff]
> 
> One shot summary: "The food is just a little spicier than Alex can handle."

“Shit,” Alex said through a mouthful of rice and meat, “fuck.”

With a grin on her face, Kara bumped her shoulder against her fiancé’s.

“You doing okay there, Al?” she asked, before taking a sip from her favorite soda.

Only a few hours before, they’d had to defeat what felt like an army of lion-sized insects with nothing but Alex’s baton, Kara’s fists and her heat vision. After Lord had caused the entire D.E.O. to shut down and lock up its doors, Kara and Alex had somehow ended up as the only two people close enough to the outbreak of insects to stem their flow into the city.

Now, after a long shower that Alex had been too tired to truly enjoy – despite the fact that Kara’s chest had been pressed against her back practically the entire time – they were sitting on the couch in their apartment with the take-out Kara had just procured.

Since their usual haunt for Korean food had been a little too close to the disaster, Kara had been forced to visit another place a few blocks away.

On any other day, that wouldn’t have been a problem, but right now… Alex just couldn’t handle it.

“It’s so spicy,” she complained, before forcing the mouthful of food down her gullet and waving a hand around in front of her mouth. “I think they put too much chili in this.” She stuck out her tongue and waved more air onto it, now with both hands.

“Really?” Kara asked, a mischievous look on her face. “I could have sworn I’d ordered the regular version for you.” She put down her own bag of take-out and leaned a little closer to Alex. “Maybe you’re just being a big old baby.”

Alex’s expression was priceless.

Then, as though out of spite, she stuck her chopsticks back into her carton of rice and started eating again, her eyes trained on Kara’s the entire time. There were no tears in her eyes, even though Kara was fairly certain Alex’s mouth felt like it was on _fire_.

Shaking her head, Kara wrapped her arms around Alex’s shoulders and pressed a kiss against her shoulder. They were both in their pajamas already, and the TV was off. After the endless noise of the insects, they both relished the quiet of their living room. And still, after years of being together, Kara still enjoyed the view of Alex in one of her old Stanford t-shirts and those baggy sleeping pants she always wore.

“It can’t possibly be that bad,” Kara teased, brushing her nose back and forth against Alex’s.

“It’s burning my taste buds to a crisp,” Alex insisted, moving the carton of take-out a little closer to Kara.

“Alright, fine, let me check,” Kara said, moving her right hand into Alex’s hair, before drawing her nails down the nape of her neck.

Alex, who had lifted up the carton and was clearly expecting Kara to take a bite, almost dropped it when Kara leaned in and pressed a quick, passionate kiss against her lips. Somehow, Kara managed to ravage Alex’s mouth and tongue in less than five seconds, while keeping Alex’s face steady with both hands on her cheeks.

When Kara pulled away, Alex’s eyes were half-lidded and the chopsticks were on the floor.

Her mouth was still open, though she didn’t seem to be registering the pain of the spicy rice anymore.

“Mh,” Kara hummed, sliding her thumb along Alex’s bottom lip, “almost hotter than you.”

The words were followed by a goofy grin that finally pulled Alex out of her kiss-induced stupor.

“Wait a minute,” she said, eyeing Kara suspiciously. “Did you plan this?”

Smiling innocently, Kara plucked the carton of spicy rice out of Alex’s hand and set it down on the coffee table. Then, out of nowhere (which was probably from behind the couch), she pulled out a completely different carton and handed it to Alex.

“I love you,” she said as she opened the take-out holder to reveal an untouched portion of rice.

“I can’t believe this.” Alex shook her head, before picking up her chopsticks and wiping them clean on a paper towel. “You let me suffer, just so you could throw that pick-up line at me.” She wiped the sticks a little harder. “I can’t believe I’m marrying you.” She shook her head.

“That’s what you get for trusting an alien,” Kara replied cheekily, letting her hand run from Alex’s neck down to her waist, before sliding it down the back of her t-shirt to seek out soft skin. “You can’t just assume that some of us are good people.”

“God, please don’t quote Lord’s speeches to me, that’s even worse than tricking me.” Alex’s face screwed up in disgust. Naturally, Lord had been nowhere to be found after the D.E.O. shutdown he’d caused, so Alex and Kara had gone home for the day. And Alex really didn’t need to think about him again.

Kara moved in quickly so she could press another kiss against Alex’s lips.

“You love it when I hit on you,” she whispered, drawing the Kryptonian symbol for love on the bare skin of Alex’s waist. Right on top of the House of El tattoo Alex had gotten when she was eighteen. “Because you love me _so much_.”

Rolling her eyes, Alex put down her food.

Not a second later, Kara was on her back on the couch with Alex on top of her, Alex’s head resting sleepily on Kara’s chest. Now both of Kara’s hands had slipped under Alex’s shirt, gently scratching and kneading the skin there.

Again, they enjoyed the silence.

The warmth.

The way their bodies fit together perfectly on the couch, their feet hanging off the edge. As always, Kara’s body was running hot, keeping Alex from getting too cold without a blanket.

Kara was on the verge of drifting off, when she heard Alex’s mocking voice.

“I can’t believe you got me wrong sort of food on purpose,” she said, before a chuckle made her chest rumble with her glee. The sound seemed to reverberate in Kara’s chest, who cherished moments like these most of all. “How did you even come up with this pick-up line?”

Pulling Alex a little closer, Kara stuck her nose into Alex’s hair and drew in a deep breath.

“Oh, you know,” she said, shrugging a little. “I googled around a little.” Her thumbs slid along Alex’s ribs, causing goosebumps to break out on Alex’s back. She liked goosebumps on humans – the tiny hairs sticking up. Like they wanted to attack. It was sweet.

“Does that mean I should fear for all of my food now?” Alex asked, poking her big toe into Kara’s foot. “Because I don’t know if I can live with that kind of stress in my life. I don’t want to live in fear of you messing with my stuff.”

Rolling her eyes, Kara dug her nails into Alex’s sides to make her squirm.

“I promise, that was the only pick-up line that involved something spicy,” Kara replied. “Notice how I didn’t say the others don’t involve something hot.” She pulled Alex up a little further so they were face to face. “Because they all involve _you_. And you’re very hot.”

Alex couldn’t stop the laughter from spilling out of her.

“Kara!”

Her only response was a grin and a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full prompt: "Imagine your OTP eating takeout and Person A says something about how spicy their dish is and Person B says, “Lemme see,” and Person A expects them to take a bite of their food but instead Person B steals a kiss and manages to meet tongue with tongue all in a few seconds and then pulls away and remarks, “Almost hotter than you.”"
> 
> I'm really tired today, y'all. I couldn't do more than this - hope that's okay. Uni and life are things that exist, sadly.
> 
> All mistakes are my own
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! If you want to come chat, find me @goshdarnitjay on tumblr.


	6. no one else

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **For** : sandpix
> 
> **Prompt/Word** : "Lucy telling Kara what's what" [Alex x Kara; Lucy x Vasquez; Fluff]
> 
> **Summary** : "Kara is wondering what to do about a CatCo party. Lucy has had enough of Kara's obliviousness. And Maggie isn't stupid."

“I’m supposed to bring a plus one and I really don’t know who to ask,” Kara whined, leaning back in the chair she was sitting on. Roughly ten minutes ago, she’d sought refuge in Lucy’s office, after Miss Grant had given her the order to buy herself a decent dress for the annual CatCo Christmas party. “Ugh, this is so stressful.”

“Cat gave you one of her credit cards. I don’t know what’s so stressful about that. Just go downtown and pick up something cute for yourself,” Lucy replied, her eyes firmly fixed on the contract in front of her.

Kara gave Lucy an exasperated look.

“Clearly, I’m more worried about asking someone to the dance,” she replied, tapping her fingers on her stomach. “Pay attention when I’m whining to you, please. I need someone to complain to – Alex is off on some adventure with that detective she met.”

“What was her name again?” Lucy asked almost too innocently, her pen momentarily halting on her legal pad.

“Maggie,” Kara said with as little malice as she could. “I really don’t know what she sees in her. Sure, she’s really badass, and she’s clearly amazing at her job, but… you know… Supergirl’s a badass, too.” Kara fiddled with the bottom of her cardigan. “Alex could be having even more amazing adventures with Supergirl, if she wanted to.”

“Sounds like someone is having a hard time accepting that Alex is showering attention onto someone else for a change,” Lucy said teasingly, finally lifting her eyes from the contract in front of her to give Kara a knowing grin. “If you want to know why Alex has been spending so much time with Detective Dimples, it’s because the woman is gay, and Alex hasn’t had a date in three years.”

Kara almost fell out of her chair.

Catching herself at the last second, she sat up straight.

“What? Maggie is _gay_?” she asked incredulously, a few uncomfortable ideas making themselves known in her brain. “How do you know?”

Shaking her head, Lucy leaned back in her own chair.

“I _know_ , because I’ve spoken to her for longer than two seconds,” she sassed, pointing her pen at Kara. “You need to work on your queerdar, Kara, seriously.”

For a moment, Kara almost believed her friend.

“Really, how do you know?” she asked, squinting questioningly at Lucy’s smirking face.

They stared at each other for one very long minute.

Finally, Lucy broke eye contact.

“Fine, fine,” she said, waving her pen around and almost hitting the fake plant on the shelf behind her. “Vasquez goes to the same bar that Maggie does. They’ve seen her there with several girlfriends.” She put down the writing utensil and linked her fingers together on her stomach. “She used to date one of the bartenders there, who may or may not be one of Vasquez’s ex-girlfriends, too.”

Raising one eyebrow, Kara gave Lucy a small smile.

“So much for queerdar, I guess,” she said, leaning her head against the backrest of her chair. “Do you really think that’s why Alex is spending so much time with her? Because she’s thinking about asking her out?”

The thought didn’t sit well with Kara for some reason. Over the last several months of her working as Supergirl, she’d grown used to Alex’s attention being focused entirely on her. And the thought of sharing that attention with another woman…

Lucy shrugged.

“I don’t know, to be honest. Big Danvers has certainly been skulking around her like a lost puppy recently, but she tends to do that with all women she finds interesting.” She gave Kara a purposeful look. “It wouldn’t surprise me, though, if she did. She’s got a thing for women who can kick her ass.”

Deflating slightly, Kara sank back down in her chair.

“I guess…” she admitted, thinking back to Alex’s previous girlfriends. They’d all been rather tall and muscular. And Alex _had_ once said that she had a major crush on Diana and the other amazons. Of course, Maggie wasn’t taller than Alex by any stretch of the imagination, but she was certainly strong – and she wasn’t afraid to speak her mind.

All of these thoughts did nothing but depress Kara.

“None of this solves my problem,” she finally said after another minute of thinking about how good Alex and Maggie would look together. What a handsome couple the two of them would make, and how jealous Kara would be of all the time the two of them would get to spend together. Without _her_. “I still don’t know who to ask to this stupid dance.”

Now, Lucy seemed a little frustrated.

“You know, Kara, for someone who’s so ridiculously smart, you can be a little slow on the uptake sometimes,” she said, giving Kara another purposeful look. “The obvious answer of who you should ask is right in front of you.”

Blinking slowly, Kara wracked her brain for what her friend was insinuating.

“Are you saying… that I should ask James to the dance? Because I really don’t want to do that. It was bad enough that I didn’t want to go on a date with him; I don’t think me asking him to the dance is something our friendship could withstand.” Kara was back to fiddling with her rose-colored cardigan, while Lucy massaged her temples.

“No, I’m not talking about James. Besides, he’s taking Stacy from accounting.” Lucy’s eyes widened a little, like she was trying to will Kara to come to the correct conclusion with her stare. Sadly, Kara had no clue what her friend was getting at.

“Um… do you want me to ask _you_?” Kara wondered out loud, feeling just a bit uncomfortable. “Because, no offence, but I thought you and Vasquez were on your way to getting married, and I don’t want to get in between that.”

Lucy groaned.

“You should ask Alex!” she exclaimed, sitting up on her chair and placing her elbows on her desk. “Ask Alex to go to the dance with you! Ask her to be yours forever and ever! Ask her to have your babies!” Considering the veracity with which she was speaking, Kara had the feeling her friend had been holding onto these thoughts for a while.

And still, they left Kara completely speechless.

Ask _Alex_ to the dance?

As something more than sisters?

Kara was on the verge of throwing the words back in Lucy’s face, when she was assaulted with a fantasy she usually buried beneath years of childhood memories. A fantasy of her and Alex in fancy Kryptonian bonding robes.

The thought was so overwhelmingly pleasing to Kara, that she momentarily forgot how to speak.

Suddenly, Lucy didn’t look exasperated anymore.

“Yeah, give it a moment,” she said, folding her hands on top of the contract. “You can thank me later.”

In a daze, Kara got to her feet.

“I, uh, I need…” she stammered. “I—”

She straightened up her cardigan.

“Before you run out of here to panic, I just want you to know something,” Lucy interjected. She, too, had gotten to her feet. “I’ve seen the way Alex looks at you, whether you’ve acknowledged it to yourself or not. If she’s thinking about asking out Maggie, it’s only because she thinks she can’t have you.” She leaned over the desk to give Kara’s arm a squeeze. “Just think about it, okay?”

Nodding – her face roughly the color of a fire hydrant – Kara speed walked out of the office.

 

-

 

While Kara was busy freaking out somewhere else, Lucy sat back down in her desk chair and let out a sigh. She wasn’t sure she’d done the right thing by being quite so blunt with her friend, but she was worried about Maggie, too.

Maggie was a great woman, and Alex would be lucky to go out with someone as awesome as her, but Lucy _had_ seen the way Alex looked at Kara. And she’d also seen the way that Kara looked at _Alex_ , and if she didn’t at least try to help out her inept friends, she wasn’t sure she could live with herself.

Picking up her cellphone, Lucy rang the number one on her speed-dial.

Vasquez picked up on the second ring, just like they always did.

“Hey, Luce,” they said, their voice warm and welcoming and just the thing Lucy needed to calm herself down. “What’s up? I thought you were busy this afternoon.” Lucy had complained quite a bit about the contract Cat had asked her to look through today – until Vasquez’s hands and mouth had made her think about quite a few other things this morning.

“I think I may or may not have fucked something up,” Lucy replied, picking up her pen again and doodling on her legal pad. “I need you to tell me that it’s going to be fine.” With James, she’d hardly ever felt comfortable enough to show her vulnerable side. It hadn’t been his fault, really, but Lucy had always put up a barrier between them.

Not with Vasquez, though. Never with Vasquez.

“What did you do?” they asked, a hint of concern in their voice.

“I told Kara that she should ask Alex to the CatCo dance. In a totally non-sisterly way.” Lucy scribbled a little harder on the pad. “The phrase ‘ask her to have your babies’ could have possibly come from my mouth.”

When a laugh greeted her rather than an admonishment, Lucy relaxed.

“Babe, we talked about this,” Vasquez said through their chuckles. “We _agreed_ that they should come to that conclusion on their own.”

“I know,” Lucy whined. “But you should have seen her, Vas. She was so sad about Alex and Maggie.” Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw the figure of Cat walking by her office, and quickly focused her attention back on the contract, hoping that her hair would hide her smartphone. “I couldn’t keep watching them dance around each other.”

Another good-natured sigh from Vasquez was her only response.

 

-

 

Flying through the air, Kara swept the city with her eyes, looking for something to do.

She’d already interrupted one car thief, who had immediately dropped his crowbar and lifted his arms the moment he saw her. Then, she’d helped an elderly woman carry her groceries up the stairs of her apartment building; something which had been especially fun, because the elderly woman had been accompanied by her six-year old granddaughter, who had been extremely excited to be meeting Supergirl.

Now, though, the city seemed to be quiet.

On any other given day, Kara would have been happy that her city was being so cooperative and free of crime, but today she wished there was something for her to do. She needed to take her mind off of the conversation she’d had with Lucy earlier in the afternoon, mainly because she didn’t want to think about how happy the thought of kissing Alex truly made her.

Ever since Lucy had told her to ask Alex to the dance (and to have babies with her), Kara had been feeling out of sorts. She knew Alex was gorgeous, of course. Alex was the most beautiful person Kara had ever seen. And she was perfectly aware of just how kind and wonderful her foster sister was as a person.

And yes, maybe Kara had been crushing on Alex when she had been younger. Who wouldn’t have?

But that didn’t mean that Kara wanted to date Alex _now_.

And even if she did, there was no guarantee that Alex would even want her back.

Just because Lucy seemed to think that Alex liked her… That didn’t exactly prove that Alex loved her as anything other than a little sister. A little sister who was frequently annoying and a huge burden, and also an alien from another planet.

Before her thoughts could stray further down that dangerous route, Kara pulled herself back to the present. She was being unfair to Alex – if there was anyone in the world who wouldn’t care about the fact that Kara was a Kryptonian, then it was her big sister.

“Ugh,” Kara grumbled, turning onto her back and staring up at the sky.

Why did Lucy have to say anything?

Kara’s life had been so much easier before she’d brought this up.

She’d just decided to spend a little time helping out at one of the soup kitchens downtown, when she heard the distinctive sound of a police gun being cocked. Over the last several months, Kara had trained herself to distinguish between all sorts of sounds that might be relevant to her ability to fight crime. And the places where police-issued guns were being discharged were usually good places to start; and not just to help the police, either.

There had been a number of incidents where Kara had been forced to put herself between the police and the people of National City.

Pouring on her superspeed, she flew through the air as fast as she could without breaking the sound barrier. She could see the officer with the gun from miles away, and she barely slowed herself down as she hurtled towards the person the officer was firing at.

As far as Kara could tell, it was a member of the Brylyx race, one of the types of aliens who had recently sought refuge in National City. Since they looked mostly like humans – except for their skin, which was as white as recently fallen snow – they didn’t garner too much ire from much of the population.

Landing swiftly on the ground, Kara plucked the four discharged bullets out of the air and squashed them in between her fingers.

“What seems to be the problem, officer?” she asked, reaching behind herself and grabbing the Brylyx woman by the shoulder. She had a bag clutched in her hand, though to Kara it looked like nothing more than a purse. A quick x-ray confirmed her suspicion.

The policeman in front of Kara almost fainted when he saw her.

“Supergirl!” he called out nervously. “I—” He pointed at the shaking Brylyx woman. “It—It wanted to attack me!” He still hadn’t lowered his gun, though at a pointed look from Kara, he quickly pushed it back into its holster. “I was just defending myself.”

The Brylyx woman shook her head.

“He lie, Supergirl,” she said, her English a little rudimentary still. Turning towards her, Kara gave the woman her full attention. “I—I come to him… to ask where is the bus stop.” She seemed genuinely distressed, and Kara gave the officer a calculating look.

“You’re wearing a body camera, right?” Kara asked him, feeling much more like she wanted to hold onto the cop to keep _him_ from running. “Why don’t we all go down to the station and clear up this mess. And no one needs to get hurt.”

For a moment, the police officer looked ready to argue, but when he saw Kara’s intense expression, he relented.

“Okay… Let’s go.”

 

-

 

Kara didn’t feel great about leaving the Brylyx woman – Betzanius – in the back of the police car, but she didn’t have much of a choice. With Kara driving, she’d had two choices. Either to risk the policeman freaking out on her by putting _him_ in the back, or to politely ask Betzanius.

In the end, she’d just been glad that the officer hadn’t put up a fuss about her driving and him riding shotgun.

Thankfully, it hadn’t taken her long at all to explain the situation to the people at the station, and she’d even made sure that the police people she’d entrusted with the case were ones that she could count on. After all, there had been more than one occasion where the evidence on a dash or body cam had been conveniently _misplaced_.

Just as Kara had walked down the stairs in front of the police station, she was stopped by a hand on her shoulder.

“Supergirl, hey!”

When she turned around, Kara was unsurprised to find herself face to face with one of the last people she wanted to see today.

“Detective Sawyer, how are you?” Kara asked politely and shook Maggie’s hand.

“I just left Agent Danvers at a crime scene. You’ll probably get a call from her soon,” Maggie replied, smiling at the mention of Alex and revealing the dimples in her cheeks. Looking at them almost made Kara want to take off and fly very high into the sky so she could _scream_. “Or maybe you’re already heading there?”

“No,” Kara said quickly, placing her hands at her waist to look a little bit more intimidating – at least in a subtle way. “No, I was just here to settle a case that looks a lot like alien profiling.”

The words brought a frown to Maggie’s face.

“Was there a fatality?” she asked, looking genuinely concerned. Against her will, Kara felt a bit of her annoyance at Maggie fall away. She was a good person, and Alex could certainly do worse if she ever wanted to date her.

“No, I got there just in time.” Kara could feel herself getting antsy to leave. Just because she could accept that Maggie was a cool woman didn’t mean she had to feel comfortable around her already. Especially when Kara wasn’t sure of her own feelings, yet. “I actually need to go. I think I hear someone calling out for help.”

It was as good an excuse as any, but she could tell that Maggie wasn’t quite buying it.

“Alright, well, then I don’t want to keep you. It was nice to see you, Supergirl. Keep doing what you’re doing,” she said, reaching out so she could bump Kara’s bicep with her fist. For the quarter of a second, Kara thought about flexing her muscles so Maggie would hurt herself. Not a lot—just a little bit.

“Yeah, it was good seeing you, too, Detective Sawyer,” Kara replied, purposefully relaxing her arm so Maggie’s fist sank into her skin. As she watched Maggie walk away, Kara’s mouth opened before she could stop it. “Um, detective? Can I ask you a question?”

Maggie had already made it half up the stairs, but when she heard Kara’s words, she came back over.

“Sure, what do you need?” Maggie asked, stuffing her hands into her pockets. “If you need me to keep an eye on that case you brought in, just say the word. I’ll make sure it’s worked properly.”

Again, Kara felt a little bad for how much she wanted to kick Maggie’s shin.

“Thanks, that sounds great, but that’s not actually what I wanted to know.” Kara wasn’t quite sure why she hadn’t simply taken this out that Maggie had just presented her with. The case would have been the perfect excuse. Taking a deep breath, Kara pulled together all of her Supergirl authority. “What are your intentions with Agent Danvers? Is there something going on between the two of you?”

It was incredibly inappropriate.

It bordered on abuse of power.

And yet, Kara couldn’t stop herself.

She’d been prepared for almost any reaction.

Affront? Certainly. Disgust? Maybe. Anger? Absolutely.

But when Maggie started grinning and then laughing, Kara’s powerful stance faltered a little.

Obviously having seen Kara’s incredulous expression, Maggie placed a hand in front of her mouth and tried to control her mirth. “Sorry, sorry,” she said in between laughs. “It’s just—I’m not stupid, okay?” Maggie wiped a stray tear from her eye. “I’m not dumb enough to hit on Supergirl’s girlfriend.”

Completely dumfounded, Kara let her hands drop from her waist.

“Girlfriend?” she asked, feeling her cheeks flush scarlet.

“Look, it’s none of my business, and you can tell me to fuck off if you want to,” Maggie started, still looking ready to break into more laughter. “But if you want to keep your relationship with Agent Danvers a secret, you might want to cut back on the heart eyes and the totally gratuitous touching. And that goes for her, too.” She shook her head. “You’re not exactly being very subtle right now.”

Feeling like a fish out of water, Kara just nodded dumbly and let Maggie get on with her day.

She had a lot of thinking to do.

 

-

 

Alex never called her in for the crime scene, which likely meant that she didn’t think the matter was something that Kara needed to concern herself with. And since Kara trusted her big sister to make the right call, Kara didn’t call her.

Besides, she could always ask Alex about it later.

After coming home, Kara had restlessly walked around her apartment, before finally settling in front of her easel with a brush in her hand. After two hours of painting, she’d decided that sulking about this wasn’t going to help.

Especially when all she wanted was to see Alex and talk to _her_ about it.

In the end, she’d sent Alex a text, asking her to come over after work.

It was vaguely ridiculous that she didn’t feel like she could make sense of this mess of emotions by herself, but Kara had tried all afternoon to figure herself out, and nothing seemed to be working. Not even painting could take her mind off the whole thing completely. Not least because she was currently working on a portrait of Alex and herself on Krypton.

With a sigh, Kara went over to the sink to wash out her brushes.

She’d just gotten the paper towels to pat them try, when the front door opened and Alex walked inside. She was carrying four boxes of pizza and a six-pack of root beer, her hair a little disheveled from the wind. Since Alex didn’t live too far away, Kara figured that she’d driven home first, before changing into more comfortable clothes and making a pit-stop at the supermarket and the pizza place on her way to Kara’s apartment.

“Hey,” Alex said as soon as she saw Kara, a beautiful smile playing along her lips. “Did you have a good day? Maggie texted me to say that Supergirl intervened in a case of police brutality.” Putting down the pizza boxes and the root beer, Alex sidled around the kitchen island so she could press a kiss against Kara’s head. “Good job.”

“Thanks,” Kara replied, her face heating up for no reason other than Alex’s sudden proximity. “My day was pretty confusing, actually. How about yours? Maggie told _me_ that you guys were at a crime scene together. You didn’t call me in.”

Grinning, Alex picked up one of the root beers and opened it up.

“Yeah, it wasn’t really worth mentioning. Nothing the D.E.O. can’t handle without you.” She shrugged and opened up a second root beer for Kara. “I figured you had more important things to do.” Cracking open the pizza box at the very top, Alex pulled out a slice and held it up for Kara to take a bite. “Why was your day confusing?”

Once Kara had bitten down, Alex pulled the slice away from her and took a bite of the cheesy goodness herself.

She looked criminally gorgeous in a pair black of sweatpants and one of Kara’s comfortable jumpers that she usually used for painting. It was mint green and covered in small flecks of paint that had accumulated over the years. She’d recently left it at Alex’s place after a sleepover, and the way it slid down Alex’s left shoulder was ridiculously attractive.

How had Kara never noticed that before?

Swallowing the pizza in her mouth, Kara took her hands off the dry brushes and wiped her fingers on her own slightly too big jumper. Her palms left behind stains of paint – stains that were mirrored in some ways on Alex.

“Do you think we’re in love?” Kara asked with zero prompting, watching in fascination as Alex dropped her root beer onto the kitchen island, where it toppled over and spilled its contents all over the stone top.

“Shit,” Alex cursed, pulling up the bottle. “What?”

Kara handed over the paper towels.

“Do you think we’re in love?” Sitting down on one of the stools next to her, Kara watched as Alex mopped up the root beer. “Lucy said you look at me like you want to have my babies.” Placing her elbow on the island, Kara grabbed her own slice of pizza. “And I think… I think I look at you that way, too. Maggie seems to think so, anyway.”

Alex seemed to be at a loss for words. “What?”

Root beer was dripping onto the floor, because Alex appeared unable to coordinate her efforts.

“I’m just saying,” Kara continued, taking a sip of her own drink. “I sort of hate how close you and Maggie have gotten, and I had no idea why.” The root beer continued to drip, while Alex stared at Kara, her mouth having dropped open. “And it’s because I’m jealous!”

“Are you feeling okay?” Alex was still holding her slice of half-eaten pizza.

“I think we might be in love!” Kara said, finally taking pity on her big sister. Putting down her own bottle and slice, Kara took hold of the paper towels and used her superspeed to mop up the mess her impromptu exclamation had caused. Returning to Alex once everything was clean, Kara lifted one of her shoulders in a half-hearted shrug. “I was sort of hoping we could discuss the merits of a possible change in our relationship, because… I don’t know, the thought of kissing you sounds sort of nice.” Alex blinked. “Okay, _really_ nice. It sounds really nice.”

Lifting her free hand to her head, Alex rubbed her right temple.

“Did you take anything? Or is this some sort of elaborate joke?” She dropped the pizza back inside the box, clearly no longer hungry. “Because I’m not laughing, Kara.”

With a sigh, Kara walked a few steps back.

“I’m not making a joke,” she said, placing her hands on her hips and leaning her head back for a second to gather her thoughts. “Before today, I never properly thought about how you make me feel, and now I’m wondering if maybe that was a mistake.” She looked back to Alex, who was gripping the edge of the island to steady herself. “No one else has ever made me feel at home on this planet. No one else makes me feel so warm inside when they’re around me. No one else has ever made my heart flutter like you do.”

“You’re serious.” Alex ran a hand through her hair. “Shit.”

“Yeah.” Kara smiled a little. “As soon as I worked that out, I knew I had to talk to you about it.”

Nodding, Alex pushed herself away from the kitchen island and walked past Kara, though not without catching her hand and pulling her over to the couch.

“So, let’s talk about it,” she said, only letting go of Kara’s hand so she could sit down.

Once they were facing each other, Kara laid her head down on the backrest and looked up at Alex for what felt like the very first time. Reaching out, she pulled Alex’s hand into her lap and started stroking the callouses and rough patches on the palm.

“For the record,” Alex started, self-consciously smoothing her hair back again, “no one has ever made my heart flutter like you, either.”

The words made Kara smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I definitely intend to write a sequel to this, so don't even worry. I just kind of love Kara being all blunt like "i think we're in love can we talk about that" hehe. Lucy and vasquez always have to deal with those dum dums - also i love maggie, even tho the show sort of forgot to give her a character. she will always be near and dear to me
> 
> all mistakes are my own
> 
> if you want to support me, find me on tumblr @goshdarnitjay


	7. a good life, maybe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **For** : murderiread
> 
> **Prompt/Word** : "something NSFW" [Alex x Kara; Fluff]
> 
> **Summary** : "Alex is about to pack up for the day, when she gets a call."
> 
> **Warning** : Rated E for Explicit.

Alex had just packed up her things for the day when she got the call.

 

“Are you free tonight?” 

 

The voice sent shivers down her back. 

 

“I was just leaving. Where are you? How long are you staying?” Alex asked while she pushed the rest of her stuff into her briefcase. Although she’d been looking forward to a quiet evening, there was no way she was giving up this opportunity. 

 

“We’re about thirty minutes from landing. We're only stopping by for two days, but I got M’gann to agree to give me one of them off.”

 

Mentally, Alex was running through how long it would take her to reach her hotel and if she would have time for a quick shower and a snack. She’d skipped lunch and her companion wouldn't be too happy about that. 

 

“Alright, I’ll see you in thirty-five?” Alex grabbed her jacket and her briefcase and left her lab at a running speed. 

 

“I can't wait,” the other woman said, only causing Alex’s heart to beat faster.

 

As soon as they’d hung up, Alex dialed a different number. 

 

“Alex, hey, what’s up?” Winn’s voice sounded slightly worried - Alex rarely called him when she wasn't on duty. 

 

As she jumped down the last few steps that lead her down into the parking garage, Alex almost dropped her phone. Her coordination wasn't quite what it used to be, but she managed to steady herself just in time to run to her car and answer Winn at the same time.

 

“Cancel all my appointments tomorrow,” she said seconds before she got inside the car. “I’m taking the day off.”

 

Winn scoffed.

 

“You know I’m not your secretary, right?” he snarked, clearly not connecting the dots between her request and why she was panting from exertion.

 

“Kara’s coming back to Earth.” She’d already pulled out of the parking garage and was trying to maneuver her way through the busy streets of Seattle, when she heard Winn’s answering gasp. “ _ Yes _ , so please. Can you cancel all my appointments for me or not?” She needed the whole thing to be done swiftly and without too many questions asked.

 

“Holy crap,” Winn said, the sound of typing accompanying his words. “Shit, it’s been--”

 

“Almost exactly eleven months,” Alex said, already anticipating where he was going. “And she’s only here for two days, and I only get to spend one of those with her. So I am going to turn off my phone and my laptop and I will not be available until Wednesday.”

 

“Noted,” he said quickly, sounding almost breathless with excitement. “Oh man, do you think she’s gonna swing by National City?”

 

“I don't know, Winn. I didn't even know she was coming until about five minutes ago.” Communication across planets, galaxies, and solar systems was difficult, especially when they were both supposed to be working. “I need to hang up now.”

 

“Didn't have lunch again, did you?” he replied sneakily, and his tone almost made her laugh. 

 

“ _ Goodbye _ , Winn,” she said, rolling her eyes at him, even though he couldn't see her. Kara wasn't the only one she missed from the old days, but with Earth’s involvement in the Darkastian war, Alex had had little choice not to help out her planet.

 

“Bye, Alex. Come back soon, please. We miss you.” He ended the call as soon as he’d finished, and Alex didn't begrudge him the decision. He’d made the same statement to her many times before, and he didn't much care to listen to her many explanations for why she couldn't come back to National City just yet. 

 

She pulled into the hotel parking lot shortly after, and barely cared that she hadn't parked as perfectly as she usually did. 

 

Right now, the only thing that mattered was to get herself halfway presentable before Kara arrived. They’d sent each other pictures, letters and video messages as often as they could, but it just wasn't the same as actually seeing each other, let alone as being able to simply  _ touch _ .

 

Once she was inside the hotel, she almost decided not to bother with the elevator. Then she remembered that she was currently living on the seventh floor and decided to rethink her approach. The elevator ride felt excruciating, and she almost sobbed with relief when it finally stopped on her floor.

 

As soon as she was inside her room, she ordered massive amounts of room service. Kara would be hungry, no doubt, and Alex would at least be able to pretend that she’d had something for lunch. 

 

The food situation taken care of, Alex shucked off her coat and briefcase, before tugging herself out of her blouse and black dress pants. She was an absolute mess that no shower would be able to fix, but she at least had to try. 

 

She’d just jumped under the water and had barely scrubbed at her body, when she heard the sound of knocking on the door.

 

“Room service!” a voice called from outside, making Alex groan.

 

“Just a second!” Alex called back, turning off the spray and almost slipping in her haste to get out from under the shower head. She’d wrapped a terrycloth robe around herself, although she was still toweling herself dry when she ripped open the door to her room. “Wow, you guys worked fast today…”

 

Her words trailed off when her eyes landed on the unmistakable crest.

 

“We do what we can,” Kara said sweetly, her left arm keeping her upright against the doorjamb. She had a grin on her face and her cape hung gently and achingly familiar from her shoulders. “I hope you’ll find everything to your satisfaction, Mrs. Dan-El.”

 

Dropping the towel, Alex launched herself at Kara, wrapping her arms around her shoulders and pulling her into a much-needed kiss. As she had expected, Kara caught her all too happily, walking forward with Alex in her arms and kicking the door shut behind them without stumbling over the towel.

 

Their mouths moved together in happy remembrance, Kara’s lips and tongue all too eager to keep up with Alex. With her left arm keeping Alex pressed against her, Kara brought her right one up to cup Alex’s chin and tilt it up a little further into the kiss. The gesture of gentle control made Alex moan in appreciation, and she barely even blushed at her own reaction. She hadn't been touched like this in almost a year.

 

Pulling away from the kiss, Kara brushed her nose against her wife’s.

 

“I missed you so much,” she breathed, before laying Alex gently down on the bed. “Jesus Rao, Alex, you have no idea how much I missed you.” 

 

“I think I have an idea,” Alex whispered just as Kara covered her mouth in another heated kiss. Burying her hands in the gorgeous blonde hair of her wife, Alex gave herself up to the emotions she’d been holding in for months. With a whimper, she arched her back up into Kara, glad when her wife showed no hesitation in opening up the belt at her waist that was keeping her robe closed.

 

Kara’s hands were just as hot as Alex remembered them - always just a little too warm to be human - always exactly the right temperature for Alex. She didn't even have to say anything; Kara knew exactly what she needed. She always did.

 

Keeping their lips firmly sealed together in a kiss, Kara moved her fingers down Alex’s stomach and in between her legs, satisfied to find her wife already wet beneath her. Kara smiled into their kiss as she circled Alex’s clit, before moving further down and rubbing her opening. 

 

“I love you,” Kara murmured against Alex’s cheek as she pushed inside with one finger and gently started to move. Her words coupled with her actions made Alex throw back her head and squeeze her eyes shut with pleasure. “I love you. I missed you so much, Alex.” She started moving faster, before adding a second finger. “I missed you.”

 

Digging her nails into Kara’s back, Alex turned her face to the side so she could catch Kara’s mouth again. 

 

She’d just started moving her hips in tandem with Kara’s thrusts, when there was another knock at the door.

 

“Room service,” the voice called out, causing Alex to drop her head against the bed and let out a quiet groan of annoyance, even though she’d been the one to call them.

 

“Just a second!” Alex called out again, shuddering slightly at the teasing feeling of Kara’s fingers pulling out of her. 

 

“Someone's using my shtick,” Kara whispered with a grin. She rolled off of Alex and stuck her fingers into her mouth, clearly enjoying the taste, if the little sounds of pleasure she produced were any indication. The sight was almost enough for Alex to forget that there was a person waiting behind the door.

 

Shaking her head, Alex got to her feet and pulled her robe shut without bothering to belt it again.

 

This time, when she opened the door, it was a member of the staff that greeted her with a polite nod. 

 

“Good evening, ma’am,” the girl said with a smile. “Are you expecting guests tonight?” Over the last few weeks, Alex had grown friendly with the staff, and the girl was obviously referring to the amount of food Alex had ordered, which was laden out on two fully laden carts. 

 

Not quite sure what to say, Alex stepped aside to allow the girl inside, completely forgetting the Kryptonian currently lounging on her bed. 

 

“Hey,” Kara said with a grin and a wave, making the girl who had just entered stop dead in her tracks.

 

“Oh my god,” she whispered, her eyes growing almost too big for her face. “Superwoman.” Her eyes turned to Alex. “Oh my gosh, you're-- you're  _ that _ \--”

 

“Yeah,” Kara interjected, “she's  _ that  _ Dr. Danvers. The one you’ve heard about. The one who’s dating Superwoman.” She was propped up on her elbows on the bed, her bare feet dangling off the edge. Her boots lay discarded on the floor. “I wouldn’t usually mind a chat, but I haven’t seen my girlfriend in almost a year, so… if you wouldn’t mind.”

 

Her smile was genuine, but Alex could see the urgency in her wife’s eyes, and she was pretty sure she mirrored it. It also didn’t help that Alex could still feel the phantom touch of Kara’s fingers inside of her.

 

“Oh, right, sorry,” the girl said, glancing in between Kara and Alex and clearly drawing her own conclusions about what the two of them had been up to. “Um, I’ll just let you get back to…” She pushed the second cart into the room. “I hope you have a nice-- yeah. Enjoy your meals!”

 

She was out the door as suddenly as she’d shown up, and once the door was closed, Alex breathed a sigh of relief. Placing her head on the wood in front of her, Alex took a second to catch her breath. Her heart was still racing and her clit was throbbing with need, despite the interruption.

 

“How long do you think it’s going to take before the media knows we’re hooking up in this hotel?” Kara asked jovially, her voice entirely too mischievous for Alex’s liking. “How long until they know that Dr. Danvers is probably coming on Superwoman’s fingers  _ as they speak _ .”

 

Groaning, Alex turned back around and let the terrycloth robe drop to the floor.

 

“Right now, Dr. Danvers isn’t coming on  _ anything _ , so unless you plan on fixing that anytime soon…” Alex was just about to bring her own fingers down to in between her legs, when she felt a whoosh of air and found her arms pinned above her head.

 

“Hold on tight, baby,” Kara whispered intently, before she let go of Alex’s wrists and lifted her up into her arms. “I spent the last eleven months thinking about this, and I’m not about to let the opportunity go to waste.”

 

In a flash, Alex found herself on the bed with Kara hovering above her. She didn’t have time to make a quip - before she could utter a single thing in return, Kara’s fingers were back inside of her, moving back and forth at a languid pace, while Kara’s thumb rubbed insistently at her clit.

 

Throwing back her head again, Alex let go of their previous interruption and focused all of her attention on her wife, and on the way that Kara’s fingers curled up inside of her and repeatedly hit that spot that Alex hardly ever managed to catch when she was by herself.

 

“I hope you didn’t order anything else,” Kara purred, before licking a hot stripe up the side of Alex’s neck that culminated in a deep kiss against Alex’s mouth, swallowing her moans. Her lips were just as hot as her hands, and they burned Alex in just the right way, especially when Kara upped her pace and brought her hips into the mix. Her lips skimmed across Alex’s chin and down her neck again. “You feel just as good as I remember.”

 

“Kara,” Alex husked, digging her nails into her wife’s cape and arching her back in pleasure. Her hard nipples skimmed the front of the superhero suit, and the feeling of the coarse material on her sensitive skin made her shiver.

 

“I love you,” Kara whispered into Alex’s ear. “I hope you canceled your plans for tomorrow, because you’re all mine for those twenty-four hours. I’m not letting you leave this room.” She rocked back and forth, her fingers pushing in and out of Alex at just the right pace. After almost twenty years together, Kara knew exactly how to touch. How to make love. How to fuck. “Just you,” she pushed a little harder, wrenching a whine from Alex’s throat, “and me.”

 

“Yes,” Alex cried out, letting the first signs of her orgasm wash over her. Her clit throbbed in tandem with her heart as she gave herself over to the moments of sweet oblivion that always followed, and her toes curled as Kara continued to slide in and out of her. 

 

Kara was still rubbing her clit by the time Alex’s back returned to the mattress, although her strokes had slowed down significantly. Her lips were leaving small butterfly kisses all over Alex’s naked shoulder and neck, interspersed with quiet declarations of love in both English and Kryptonese.

 

The moment was warm and filled with love and Alex felt herself relax for the first time in weeks, perhaps even months.

 

Pressing a kiss against Kara’s head, Alex rolled her hips into Kara’s languid thrusts.

 

“How come you’re still fully dressed?” Alex asked lazily, running her nails up and down the back of Kara’s neck. “Get out of that suit, Supergirl.” She followed up her statement with another kiss.

 

Kara chuckled at the old nickname.

 

“I’m too comfortable right where I am,” she said innocently, punctuating her words with a slightly harder thrust, which caused Alex’s back to arch again. “And I like the way your body feels through my suit.” Lowering herself, Kara blanketed Alex’s entire body with her own, finally lifting her face away from her wife’s neck. 

 

The weight of Kara’s body never failed to turn Alex on, even after she’d just come, something which her wife knew all too well.

 

“You’re not playing fair,” she said, biting down on Kara’s bottom lip and gently pulling at it, before letting go.

 

“They don’t call me an alien menace for nothing.” Giggling, Kara picked up her pace once more, her body weight pinning Alex to the mattress so she couldn’t squirm or move away to lower the pleasure she was feeling. Instead, Alex was at the mercy of Kara’s touch - something she enjoyed all too much. 

 

Since she was already sensitive, it didn’t take long for Kara to bring Alex to another climax, and she watched with great joy as Alex’s eyes closed and her mouth opened as she pressed her head back into the pillow. 

 

Finally, once Alex had calmed down, Kara pulled her hand out from between her legs and brought it up to her mouth again. Although this time, Alex cupped both of Kara’s cheeks and followed her in for a long and sensual kiss, sharing her taste between them. 

 

“Do we really get a full twenty-four hours?” Alex asked as she laid back down, watching as Kara sat up to unclip her cape. “That’s more time than we got last year.” Her eyes followed every move Kara made, and her hands settled on her wife’s waist, her thumbs sliding along the insides of Kara’s thighs. At some point, Kara had changed out her skirt for a pair of sturdy, dark blue leggings. They made her legs and ass look fantastic, and Alex didn’t mind the look of them on top of her at all. 

 

“I yelled at M’gann a little,” Kara admitted, pulling off her blue top and dropping both it and the cape off the bed. Next was her sports bra. Once she was half naked, Kara grabbed Alex’s hands and brought them to her stomach, keeping her own palms pressed against them and soaking up the feeling. “I can’t go another eleven months without you. Next time, I’ll take a single shuttle back after six, if I have to.” Her eyes were full of fiery desire and love, and Alex dug her nails into the skin beneath her fingers. 

 

“I almost quit my job so many times,” Alex said without shame. She wanted to pull Kara back down to her - wanted to hold her for hours. Do nothing but breathe her in until she didn’t feel the ache their separation had caused in her chest anymore.

 

“You can’t go with me this time, either, can you?” Kara asked sadly, letting go of Alex’s hands and rolling off of her so she could take off her pants and underwear. “Sometimes I wish you weren’t so responsible.”

 

With a sigh, Alex turned onto her side.

 

“We’re close to cracking the problem, but I… I can’t leave. Not yet.” Alex reached out with her hand and rubbed it along Kara’s sternum.

 

“I know,” Kara replied, throwing her panties to the floor and curling back towards Alex so that their foreheads were pressed together. “You’re doing your job, and I love you for that.” She followed Alex’s beckoning and slipped back on top of her, their naked skin sliding together in an almost seamless fashion after almost fifteen years of marriage. “I just want this stupid war to be over, so we can be together again.”

 

Curling her arms around Kara’s back, Alex moved her thigh in between Kara’s legs - her wetness was almost hotter than her skin, and Alex thanked the universe that they were together. At least for now.

 

-

 

After a few more rounds of making love, Alex and Kara lay in bed together. After an hour, they’d managed to climb under the blanket, and now Kara laid on her back with Alex’s head on her chest and her arm and leg thrown over Kara’s.

 

Kara’s hand slid up and down Alex’s side, her eyes staring at the ceiling. 

 

Their scents had mingled, and Kara was basking in the way they fit together.

 

“Have you lost weight?” Kara asked quietly, trying not to disturb the calm atmosphere.

 

“Yeah,” Alex admitted without a fuss. Her eyes were half-lidded and her ear was turned to Kara’s slightly slower heartbeat. Her finger was drawing circles around Kara’s belly button. “Remembering to eat is hard. Didn’t have lunch today.”

 

Kara sighed and turned her face to the side so she could press her nose into Alex’s hair.

 

“We’ve talked about this.” Kara’s words weren’t meant to scold - not really. “You need to take care of yourself when I’m not around.” Her right hand stroked up and down Alex’s shoulder.

 

Humming softly, Alex closed her eyes and nuzzled her nose against Kara’s soft skin.

 

“I think we should go to the Fortress next time I’m here,” Kara said, pulling Alex even closer. “I think it’s time. I want so much more time with you.” 

 

At her words, Alex pushed herself up on her elbows.

 

“Are you sure?” she asked, uncertainty in her gaze.

 

“I’m sure,” Kara murmured, pulling Alex down into a kiss. “You’re the one for me, Mrs. Dan-El. I don’t want to share my soul with anybody else.” She lifted her hand to Alex’s neck and softly stroked the skin there. “And I don’t want to spend my life in space solving other people’s problems, when I know you might not be there when I get back.”

 

Surging forward, Alex covered Kara’s mouth and cheeks in kisses. 

 

Even after twenty years together, she still couldn’t believe she’d gotten this lucky.

 

“Besides, you’ll be fifty next year. I think we’ve waited long enough,” Kara said in between kisses. “I don’t want to live two thousand years without you there with me.” Conceivably, Kara could live forever, and she couldn’t imagine a life without Alex by her side. A good life, maybe, but not a perfect one. Not one like this.

 

With a nod, Alex shuffled back down so she could lay her head back on Kara’s chest. Back on her heart.

 

“I missed you,” she whispered, curling even tighter around Kara, as though the act of sharing their souls could be achieved through the contact alone. “I’m so glad you’re back.” 

 

“Me, too,” Kara replied gently, resuming the stroking of Alex’s back and sides.

 

She couldn’t wait for this war to be over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I had a dream tonight and this is sorta based on that - very, very loosely. hope you had a good time with it! Also Alex is in Seattle, because she has to keep moving around the world to fix something that Earth is struggling with during the war. That's why she's set up at a hotel rather than in an apartment. And Kara has to go off-planet frequently to work diplomatically. And M'gann is the captain of the ship - and the diplomatic unit
> 
> All mistakes are mine!
> 
> if you want to support me, find me on tumblr @goshdarnitjay


	8. you tell her the truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **For** : JoyfulTemplar (& woodface)
> 
>  **Prompt/Word** : "Tired and sad (it was me: jay; i was tired and sad, so this happened)" [Alex x Kara; Angst]
> 
>  **Summary** : "The scent of her clings to your pillow."
> 
>  **Note** : A/B/O dynamics in terms of mating bites. Brief mentions of sex - nothing explicit. Rated T.

The scent of her clings to your pillow.

When you open your eyes, you realize you’re alone.

You wonder if you should be scared or disappointed, but in the end… you’re just glad. Waking up next to her would have been too much for you to handle, and maybe she knows. Maybe it’s why she left – you’re not sure.

The folded piece of paper grabs your attention only once you’re on your feet, but you ignore it. You’re not ready to read it – not yet. Maybe that’s why she folded it; no one knows you as well as Kara does. No one else knows your morning after regrets as intimately.

You rub the rough patch of skin at the bottom of your neck, your hands shaking as you slide your finger around it.

It’s too much.

It’s always too much.

The shower is set to scalding hot, but it almost feels gentle on your skin compared to her touch.

As you lean your forehead against the cold tiles of the bathroom, you trace a line from your neck to your stomach; from your waist to your inner thigh. Over bite marks and scratches and bruises that paint your body in a cacophony of pain and pleasure, and everything that’s in between.

Last night, you’d been weak.

You know you will be weak again when the fever hits next time.

When the only thing between you and insanity is the touch of Kara’s fingers on your body; the touch of her mouth on your neck; of her teeth in your skin.

You rub the rough spot of scar tissue again.

On your neck.

On your soul.

Two perfectly shaped half-moons that are almost imperceptibly different from a human’s.

Scars that reopen and heal whenever you can’t stand it anymore – when you’ve been apart from her for so long that you barely remember your own name.

“Kara,” you say to yourself, pressing your fingers harder against your neck.

It shouldn’t have happened, and yet you know there is no one else you’d rather have in your arms whenever the hunger grows too big for your body. Whenever your heat makes you pliable and needy – breaks down your defenses.

Makes you crave your alpha.

Your mate.

Your foster sister.

The beautiful alien with the kind eyes who never once asked you for more than you could give. Who always looks just a little ragged when she comes around to see you – who clearly suffers just as much and never fails to show up at your door whenever you call.

Kara’s not supposed to use her powers.

Kara’s supposed to be a normal student, somewhere far away where you can’t buckle under the pressure of being apart from her.

And yet, she always comes.

She always comes.

Because you always need her.

You groan as you turn off the shower, the droplets of water cascading down your back and licking at your skin. It’s not the same as Kara’s tongue on you, but for a moment you pretend that it is. You pretend that Kara’s hands are holding you down while she nips and sucks at you – that she’s pressing your face against the mattress while she takes you. Slowly. Because she knows you’re sensitive – because the heat is so overwhelming – because you need her too much, and you never allow yourself enough time with her.

Grabbing the towel off the rack, you try to banish the thoughts of the previous night.

You almost manage it, but then you see yourself in the mirror.

The sight of teeth marks and bruises all over again.

Scattered so beautifully across your body.

Down your neck and along your stomach – in between your thighs.

You’ve almost dialed her number by the time you come back to yourself.

 _Stop_ , you think. _Stop_.

Naked, you slip back into bed, even though the purpose of your shower was the removal of her scent on you. Your hand shakes when you grasp the pillow she’d slept on for most of the night, and your nose almost twitches in delight when you press your face against the soft cotton. Against the essence of her.

Your body quiets instantly, and you feel yourself relax as you breathe her in. Feel her scent laid over you like a protective blanket. There should be so much more to your relationship than desperate sex whenever the two of you can’t stand to be away from each other anymore. More than anything, you wish you could give her what she wants – what _you_ want. What you promised each other the night before you left for National City to pursue a career in bio-engineering like your mother.

But you’re scared, too.

Not so much of what other people will say, or even how your mother will react, but how much of yourself and Kara will be left if you decide to become one in more ways than you have so far. Kara is destined for a great many things – and you’re just along for the ride.

It’s a petty thought – it makes you angry whenever you think about it – but it’s the truth.

You love her – she scares you.

She loves you – you push her away.

The number of a therapist is hidden somewhere underneath your biology text books at the very bottom of your desk drawer, and you’re not sure if you’ll ever have the courage to call it and set up an appointment. You need the help – you desperately need the help, because this arrangement you have with Kara will break you both someday, but you’re terrified of taking the next step.

Taking that step means giving up on how you are now.

You don’t know how to be anything else.

You hold Kara’s pillow to your chest when you reach behind yourself to grab her piece of paper.

It’s folded neatly, but you can see her scraggly handwriting underneath the veneer of perfection. It fits her, you think, as your hand starts to shake.

Even though you miss her already, you can’t look at what’s written inside.

Instead, you bury your head against her pillow and close your eyes, wishing desperately that for once, Kara would ignore your requests and your boundaries and simply come back inside. Come back and hold you; take care of you in a way you know she wants to.

But you know she won’t.

 

-

 

Kara’s mouth feels warm and gentle on your neck.

Her hands are scalding your naked stomach.

You’re already exhausted, but at least the pain in your stomach has quelled and Kara’s strong body is holding you close for the first time in exactly thirty-six days. Since the last time you did this, you’ve exchanged three texts and two voice messages.

Missing her has been terrible, though you didn’t expect anything else.

You’ve done nothing but miss her for the past two years.

“Alex,” Kara whispers against your skin, her mouth sucking on the spot she bit so long ago to mark you as hers. “I can’t do this anymore.” It’s the first time she says it out loud, although you’re sure she’s thought about it before. “I miss you so much.” You aren’t shocked when you feel the first tear trickle from her eyes onto your skin.

There are too many things you want to say, but your mouth feels like someone has woven it shut.

This time, when she leaves, you’re still awake.

It’s worse than waking up to an empty bed.

 

-

 

She doesn’t listen to her own words.

You’ve decided to stick this heat out by yourself – locked up in your apartment with the windows shuttered and the lights turned off – when you hear a key in the door. Before your nose can register her scent, she’s next to you.

Kara looks unkempt, somehow.

Feral, even, and you realize she’s in her own version of heat.

You wonder if she even knows she came to you, but you don’t turn her away.

Instead, you pull her down and press her face against your neck, so she can breathe you in while she recovers. You wrap your arms around her and you tell her how everything will be alright, although you don’t believe it yourself.

You don’t try to sleep with her – and she doesn’t try to push you when you tell her no.

You think maybe this has gone too far.

 

-

 

The first time you show up at the therapist’s office, your knees are shaking, and you reflexively bring your fingers up to the mating bite on your neck. Even though she isn’t here, you think of Kara and how much her presence would bolster you.

Then, you keep walking, because while this isn’t strictly _for_ Kara, you still want to share your progress with your alpha. The person who means most to you in this world and any other. Right now, you know the only thing standing in between you and your happiness is yourself.

And that’s not something you can live with.

Not anymore.

 

-

 

The scent of her clings to your pillow, and when you reach over to touch her, your hand comes up empty.

Before you know what you’re doing, you’re out of bed and in a rumpled pair of jeans and a sweater. You don’t bother wearing a bra, but you’re glad you thought to put on a pair of underwear before swinging yourself onto your motorcycle.

The ride to Kara’s campus in Los Angeles takes you almost two hours because of the early morning traffic, but that doesn’t stop you. Neither does the look of bewildered college students as you lock your bike in a flash before running towards Kara’s building.

You slip inside while a group of younger girls leave – their chatter ceasing as soon as the door closes behind them.

It’s been almost a year and a half since the last time you were here – forced by your mother to help unpack Kara’s things in her dorm room – but you still remember the way as though you’d left just the day before.

On your way up the stairs, you almost bowl over someone carrying their laundry, but you don’t stop to apologize.

Taking two stairs at a time, you make it to the third floor in record time, and when Kara’s door finally comes into view, you breathe a sigh of relief. You just hope she’s actually here and that you haven’t missed your chance.

Over the years, you’ve missed too many.

 

-

 

Therapy is hard.

Harder than you thought.

There is resentment in you that you didn’t even know you had.

Resentment and fear.

Your therapist asks you why you and Kara mated in the first place.

You tell her the truth.

 

-

 

It takes you months to understand why you’re too scared to tell your mother about you and Kara.

When you do, she’s less angry than you imagined.

In fact, she seems almost supportive in her own strange way.

It’s nice.

It also robs you of one of your last excuses to keep Kara at arm’s length.

 

-

 

You still sleep together.

Kara still comes to you when the pain of your separation gets to be too much.

She still surrenders to your touch when she needs to, and you still whine and gasp for her when she bites your neck. Reaffirms over and over what you both know.

Every time she’s there, you think about asking her to stay.

 

-

 

The morning you follow her to Los Angeles is the first time you’ve sought her out instead of the other way around. It’s the first time you stand in front of her door, knees shaking with need. You reek of mating and desperation, and the other students look at you strangely as they pass you in the hall. You must look deranged, you realize, standing in front of Kara’s door with your fist raised.

Kara doesn’t take pity on you.

You know she knows you’re here.

Because you know she’s here, too.

You can feel her, even through the wood of the door.

When you finally knock, the door opens without much hesitation, though Kara looks like she’s been crying. She hasn’t showered, if her smell is anything to go by, and you swallow desperately as you stare up at her.

The first thing you notice is that her t-shirt is askew, as though she’s pulled at it.

You see your own mating bite on her skin.

It’s beautiful, and you wonder how many times a day Kara touches it.

You hate that you don’t know.

That you haven’t spent enough time with her in the last two and a half years to know her mannerisms.

“Hey,” she says, her hand clenching the door a little too tightly. You see the wood splinter, and your hand settles on her arm, trying to sooth her anguish. The look she gives you is one of painful confusion, but you don’t let up. Not when you’ve come so far despite your shaking knees.

Her hand relaxes when you slide your fingers down her arm, and she looks around frantically when you lace your fingers together.

“Alex,” she whispers, like you don’t know what you’re doing.

But you do.

You finally do.

The kiss takes her by surprise, but you don’t care that Kara’s free hand lands a little awkwardly on your waist when you step into her personal space. You don’t care that there are people around who are staring at you, or that some of those people might remember you as Kara’s foster sister who had helped her move in.

You only care about her.

Before you can pull away, she drags you into her room and slams the door shut behind you both.

She seems frantic now, as though the only reason you’re here is to fuck her, so you grab her hand and stop it from slipping into your jeans. Pulling away from the kiss, you cup Kara’s cheeks, before sliding your hands along her neck.

She swallows.

She’s even more confused.

You kiss her again.

“I love you,” you say, sliding your thumbs along her throat in soothing circles. “I’m sorry, Kara; I fucked this whole thing up…” You trace the mating bite on her neck and she shivers – when was the last time you touched the mark with something other than your mouth?

A step forward is enough to bring Kara’s forehead against your own.

She’s quiet, and you wonder what’s buzzing around in her beautiful, Kryptonian brain.

Your hands settle on her shoulders, and you don’t protest when she wraps her arms around your waist to draw you closer. Her chest is warm and soft, although you feel the supernatural hardness underneath her skin, her body as familiar to you as your own.

“Can we start again?” she asks softly, her scent wrapping itself around you, like it wants nothing more than to keep you safe.

“Please.” You were worried you’d ruined it, but when she nuzzles her face against your neck, you realize you underestimated Kara yet again. It tells you that your time in therapy isn’t over – not by a long shot – but for now you just want to hold her.

You just want to be with your alpha.

 

-

 

Your therapist asks you why you and Kara mated in the first place.

You tell her the truth.

She’s the only person who’s ever made you feel at home on this planet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see i couldn't make it totally sad - i'm sure the kids will stumble along the way, but they'll probably be okay
> 
> i got 3hrs of sleep i'm so tired
> 
> all mistakes are my own
> 
> if you want to support me, find me on tumblr @goshdarnitjay


	9. enter the portal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **For** : sandpix (& woodface & RaneJizzoli & myself)
> 
> **Prompt/Word** : "Avatar AU" [Kara x Alex; Fluff_Hurt/Comfort]
> 
> **Summary** : "Kara’s breath is knocked from her lungs when she hits the floor."
> 
> **Note** : For the full experience, listen to the song "The End (The Legend of Korra Outro)" while you read this, like I did when i wrote it.

Kara’s breath is knocked from her lungs when she hits the floor.

“Again!” her trainer shouts as she pulls herself back to her feet. “Your footwork is abysmal.”

“Thanks, Alex,” Kara groans as she gets to her knees. “Thanks a lot.”

There’s the smallest spark of joy in Alex’s eyes.

“That’s Master Danvers to you, Avatar,” she says with cold authority – clearly aware that there are numerous people watching their display. She’s always professional around a crowd, even when the two of them are just out and about in Republic City. “Now get back up.”

There are usually quite a few spectators whenever the Avatar is training, and today is no different, though Kara wishes she could just be alone with Alex for a change. Because even though Kara could technically be called the most powerful person in the world, she still shivers and shakes whenever Alex overpowers her.

“Alright, alright,” Kara grumbles as she pushes herself to her feet. Alex may be required through pride and honor to be strict with professionalism, but Kara certainly isn’t. “I think Master Danvers needs to take a chill pill.”

From behind her, Kara hears her mentors give off a sigh, but she doesn’t feel embarrassed in the slightest.

“Concentrate, Kara,” Alex insists, before taking on the proper fighting stance. “You need to perfect this defensive move.” She lifts her fists and slides back her foot, and Kara is momentarily distracted by the way Alex’s muscles shift in her arms and legs.

She wants to blame Alex’s attractiveness the next time she hits the mat, but she bites back the comment. She’s pretty sure she’s not supposed to be dating one of the people who have been tasked with training her.

No matter how much that annoys her.

“Can we be done for today, please?” Kara whines from her position on the floor. She stares up at Alex, who swipes a hand through her reddish-brown hair and gives her an exasperated look. “I feel like my limbs are about to fall off.”

“You’re the Avatar!” one of her mentors calls from the side. “Show a little more restraint, please!”

Rolling her eyes, Kara pushes herself into a sitting position.

“I heard that Avatar Korra was super laid back!” Kara counters as she airbends herself back into a standing position. “Besides, it’s not like Al—” she looks up just in time to see Alex’s frown. “ _Master Danvers_ won’t be here to train me tomorrow.”

A chorus of sighs reaches her, but Kara knows she’s won.

“Very well,” the oldest of her mentors says with some resignation. “You may resume your non-bending training tomorrow morning.” He glares at her and she straightens up involuntarily. “Six AM sharp, Avatar.”

Kara almost protest, but then she lets it go. It’s not worth the aggravation, she decides, especially when she sees everyone else filing out of the room, leaving just her and Alex behind. Once the last person has closed the door behind themselves, Kara turns back around to give her friend a wide grin.

Alex rolls her eyes.

“You’re incorrigible,” she says as she walks over to her training bag and pulls out a bottle of water. “And you need to do better tomorrow. I don’t want to get fired as your trainer just because you don’t want to play by the rules.” She squirts a healthy amount of liquid into her mouth and Kara watches with rapturous attention as Alex’s throat bobs with every swallow.

“Yeah, well…” Kara says, her mouth suddenly a little dry at the display in front of her. Alex looks gorgeous in her white muscle shirt and those tight, black training pants she always wears in the ring. “You’re… just going to have to deal with it.”

Lowering her water bottle, Alex shakes her head.

“You’re the worst,” she says teasingly.

“And yet you love me anyway,” Kara sing-songs, just as she creates a ball of air under herself and sweeps over to Alex to steal her drink. She isn’t even surprised when she’s too slow to grab it, causing her to overreach and fall off the air bubble. A noise of destruction reverberates through the room as she crashes into the bench Alex is standing in front of.

“I still don’t know how that happened,” Alex says dryly, watching with a raised eyebrow as Kara gets back to her feet and brushes herself off. “I guess mom and dad just sort of guilted me into it.” The comment is meant to be a jab, but Kara knows better.

“Come on, let’s get out of here,” she says, grabbing Alex’s hand. “Master Danvers promised me ice cream.”

“Only if you mastered the move! Which you did _not_ , if you recall.”

“Details, details.”

 

-

 

“Alex, sweetheart, come over here,” her mother says with an impatient little hand gesture. She and her dad have been at the office all day, and Alex didn’t expert them to be home until later in the evening. That thought doesn’t soothe her worries. “We have some news for you.”

Alex skulks over a little despondently – she’d been enjoying her biology class rather a lot. At least until her personal tutor had been interrupted by one of the other members of the Danvers staff that works around their mansion.

“What’s up?” she asks, taking in the strange scene in front of her. Her mom and dad are standing next to a young man with black hair, who’s wearing an orange robe atop a yellow outfit. Alex recognizes him instantly as one of the famous pro-bending champions whose picture she’s seen around town.

Next to the young man, a girl stands with her hands folded in front of her body.

Unlike her companion, she’s dressed in the traditional colors of the Democratic Earth Nation, and her vibrant blue eyes are fixed on the floor. She looks sad, but Alex barely has time to think about why she should care, when her mother grabs her by the shoulder and pulls her over the last few centimeters.

“Stand up straight, dear,” her mother whispers to her, just before her dad smiles at their visitors.

“This is Kara,” he says. “She’ll be staying with us from now on. I hope you’re excited – you’re finally getting that sibling you always wanted!”

Alex doesn’t point out to him that she never asked them for a sibling – because what’s the point, really?

It’s not like either of them ever listen to her when she speaks.

Instead, she studies the girl’s features more closely. She looks to be around Alex’s age, maybe a little younger, and her bottom lip is quivering slightly, if Alex isn’t mistaken. She’s not sure what to make of this new thing her parents are trying to do, but she simply shrugs in response.

“You see, honey,” her father continues, joining the young man and clapping a hand to his shoulder. “Clark here is concerned that his celebrity status might jeopardize Kara’s safety.” He gives Clark a smile. “She’s the Avatar, and she’s too young to protect herself from any attacks. Things have been quiet for a long time, but a defenseless Avatar always attracts a certain number of opportunists and antisocial malcontents.”

_The Avatar_.

Alex’s stomach drops.

The Avatar would be living with them.

She sneaks a glance up at her mother, who looks at Kara like she’s the answer to all of her problems. The sight fills her with dread. Behind her back, she wriggles her fingers in the same way she’s seen so many of the benders in town do, but nothing moves. No fire escapes, no air shifts.

She’s still as powerless as she has always been.

“We’re so very happy to have you here, Kara.” Alex’s mother moves away from her so she can stop next to the young Avatar, who startles almost comically when Eliza puts her hand on her shoulder, before shying away and towards Clark. The man smiles apologetically at Alex’s mother.

“Sorry, she’s a little shy around new people,” he says, moving Kara a little closer to Eliza again. His next words are directed at Kara. “Eliza and Jeremiah are going to be great parents, Kara; I promise. You’ll feel right at home here – I spent a couple of months at one of their estates during the off-season. You’ll love it.” He shakes her shoulder with his hand, but all Kara does in response is shrink further into herself.

Alex feels sympathy rise within her chest, but she stamps it down.

Then, Clark turns to _her_ and gives her a friendly smile. “Kara’s parents died a few weeks ago in a tragic accident.” His face looks genuinely bereft for her, but Alex can barely focus on him. “She needs somewhere safe to stay until she can be trained as the Avatar. It wouldn’t be right of me to put her in the spotlight.”

Alex feels herself nodding, even though she’s already wishing she were back in the study with her tutor. She doesn’t want any part of this, and she especially doesn’t want to keep looking at her mother’s excited face.

It must be nice to hear that she will have another bender in the house soon.

Alex’s throat closes up.

Then, she’s running from the foyer, her mother’s angry shouts following her all the way up the stairs and into her room.

 

-

 

Kara startles awake with a sputter as a bucket of water is emptied atop her head.

“Rise and shine, sleepyhead,” Alex says without mercy as she shakes the last few drops of water onto Kara’s hair. “Get out of bed and into your training gear, before your mentors notice you aren’t actually out running like I told them you were.”

When Kara looks to the clock, she sees it’s already six thirty in the morning, and she groans heavily as she slumps back into bed – no matter how wet it is.

“I hate you,” she whines, before a flick of her wrist separates the water from her skin and splashes it back into Alex’s bucket. “I was totally going to ignore this morning’s training and you know it.” The water on the bed is next, though she diverts a little bit of it towards Alex, who moves her head out of the way without much difficulty.

Show-off.

“That’s what you get for staying up late,” she chastises Kara with a smile, puts the bucket down next to the bed and moves over to the closet. A moment later, a pair of shorts hits Kara in the face. “I was up at three to go to the bathroom and I could hear the music from your room.”

Sighing, Kara slinks out of bed and shuffles over to Alex.

“Hold me,” she whines, throwing her arms around her best friend and slumping into her arms. “Why can’t _you_ be the Avatar? You’re always training, anyway.” It’s a testament to how far they’ve come over the years that Kara even feels comfortable making such a joke, when she knows how much grief Alex has gone through, just because she isn’t a bender. “Just take the Avatar spirit – it’s yours.”

“Keep it,” Alex replies sternly, although Kara can tell that her foster sister is trying not to smile. “And get ready. I told the mentors you should be back from your run in the next fifteen minutes.”

“Yes, Master Danvers.” Kara’s words are slightly garbled, because she’s speaking them against Alex’s soft shoulder, but she hears the chuckle from Alex’s throat nonetheless, telling her that she’s been understood. “I’m glad you’re one of my teachers.”

“Sap,” Alex replies instantly, although her arms tighten imperceptibly around Kara’s waist.

Since the rise in technology has given non-benders a more dangerous edge when it comes to fighting, Avatar Korra had decreed that any following Avatars would have to undergo rigorous training in non-bending fighting techniques. And Kara was paying for that totally sensible decision right now.

“Just carry me to the ring.” Kara feigns a sob.

Alex sighs. Again.

 

-

 

Her mother isn’t happy when she leaves her room later that day, but Alex barely even flinches while she’s being yelled at for her behavior. She’s used to it now, after years of disappointing her parents, and she takes the punishment doled out to her without any complaints.

Three weeks without being allowed to train seems unfair, but arguing only ever gets Alex into more trouble. Besides, if she’s lucky, she’ll be able to convince her trainer J’onn to give her lessons after all – without her parents ever finding out.

When she walks out of the lounge and into the study to pick up her biology textbook, she’s surprised to find the Avatar inside. Alex almost doesn’t notice her, because the girl is sitting on the floor behind a row of shelves – the only part of her that Alex sees at first are the tips of her shoes.

She wants to leave – especially when she sees that the Avatar is crying – but then that feeling of sympathy returns. Maybe even _empathy_ , which really isn’t any better, and yet Alex almost feels dirty for the thought of leaving the girl alone.

With a sigh, Alex grabs her book and goes to sit next to her, ignoring the way that the Avatar startles when she notices that Alex has found her. Still, she seems relieved once she realizes that Alex has no intention of actually _talking_ to her.

Instead, Alex cracks open her book and picks up where her tutor left off earlier, her eyes fixed on the words on the page. The sounds of someone desperately trying to hold in sobs isn’t conducive to studying, but Alex doesn’t leave.

She doesn’t even leave when a head lands on her shoulder and she realizes that the Avatar has fallen asleep.

It’s late in the evening at this point – almost past midnight – and Alex thinks about getting up and going to her room. Earlier, when it started getting dark outside, she’d lugged over one of the lamps in the room so she could keep reading. The light is soft and soothing, and Alex feels her eyes growing tired.

When she wakes up the next morning – the gentle hand of one of their maids shaking her awake – the Avatar’s head is resting on Alex’s lap. There is a stream of drool at the corner of the girl’s mouth, but Alex finds, to her own surprise, that she doesn’t much care.

The maid – Ming-Na, Alex realizes now that she’s more awake – smiles at Alex with more love than Alex has ever seen in her own mother’s eyes.

“Let’s get you both up to bed, sweetie,” she says quietly as she reaches out to touch the Avatar, who’s still snoozing on Alex’s thighs. “It’s still early. I think you can get a few more hours in.”

With a nod, Alex rubs her eyes while she waits for Ming-Na to shake the other girl awake.

It doesn’t take long until all three of them are walking up the stairs in the foyer, Ming-Na’s arms wrapped around both of their shoulders and guiding their sleepy selves into Alex’s room first. When she tries to make the Avatar leave, Alex shakes her head.

“She can stay here,” she says, following a strange impulse that she can’t explain.

The Avatar doesn’t protest, and Alex thanks Ming-Na for getting them to bed before she crawls in next to the other girl and pulls the covers up to her shoulders. She still feels half asleep, and she’s not entirely sure if she imagines the weight of a forehead pressed against her back or not.

 

-

 

With a grunt, Kara’s back hits the mat.

“Again? Really?” she asks, rubbing her sore behind as she gets back to her feet. “This move is _impossible_!”

“Nothing’s impossible,” Alex says patiently as she moves behind Kara to show her for the umpteenth time how she needs to position her body. Everyone else has already left for the day, but Kara is feeling too frustrated to stop, and Alex – as usual – is too much of a push-over when it comes to Kara’s pout. “You’ll get it; I know you will.”

Her hands settle on Kara’s waist.

“Just follow me,” she says softly, moving Kara’s hips a little further back so they’re pressed together from head to toe. “You’re still thinking like an earthbender, Kara. You need to be lighter on your feet – think of this move as more like airbending. Maybe that’ll help.”

“Airbending is about the _spirit_ of things, though,” Kara retorts, leaning her head back against Alex’s shoulder and focusing her attention on the way they fit together – rather than on what Alex is actually trying to teach her.

It’s a problem, but Kara isn’t going to address it.

“Alright, so think of it as _non-bending_ ,” Alex says, a hint of exasperation creeping into her tone. “An entirely new style of fighting that you need to be paying more attention to.” Alex’s hands clasp Kara’s wrists and mimic a gripping motion. “When your attacker is wearing a shock glove, you need to be prepared to catch them on the elbow, while at the same time twisting away to make sure the electricity can’t stun you.”

Kara’s cheeks flush at the feeling of Alex’s breath on her skin.

The distraction only intensifies when Alex’s knee pushes Kara’s legs further apart.

She’s completely at the mercy of her best friend, and she’s into it perhaps a little too much.

Alex’s hands feel rough with calluses and scar tissue, born of years of hard training and the usage of various tools in Alex’s personal work station. Over the years, she probably should have grown used to the feeling of her best friend’s hands on her, but…

Kara’s face turns to the side so she can graze her nose against Alex’s cheek.

She’s playing a very dangerous game.

“You’re supposed to be concentrating,” Alex admonishes her, though Kara is satisfied to see Alex’s cheeks take on a slightly darker tint. They’ve been dancing around the issue for months now – the issue of how they feel. Although they haven’t talked about it, Kara knows there’s a spark that neither one of them can deny.

“I’m paying attention to your every move, Master Danvers,” Kara husks, just before she turns her hands up so she can clasp Alex’s fingers and intertwine them with her own. The move would be a little awkward, if Alex’s hands weren’t so willing to participate.

With a smile, Kara turns her face back to the front and enjoys the way Alex’s nose slides along her ear and into her hair, breathing her in.

This is the most explicit the two of them have been together yet, although Kara isn’t quite ready to show her hand. Still, she doesn’t move when Alex disentangles their hands and gently strokes her own up Kara’s arms, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Slowly, they caress Kara’s shoulders, before running along her sides – barely skimming the edges of her breasts.

With a shudder, Kara closes her eyes.

A mistake, she quickly realizes.

Before she can react, Alex has swiped her legs out from under her and has quickly and efficiently brought her down to the mat. While Alex’s right forearm is pressed against Kara’s windpipe, she’s using the left one to hold herself up above Kara, a happy grin spread across her lips.

“You forgot rule number one of basic training – never turn your back on your enemy,” she says, moving her arm away from Kara’s throat.

“I just closed my eyes, you jerk,” Kara retorts, although she’s hardly complaining. Not with Alex kneeling over her; not with that gorgeous hair falling so beautifully around Alex’s grinning face. In moments like these, her foster sister seems truly free, and Kara cherishes each and every one of them.

Quickly, Alex dips down to press a kiss against Kara’s cheek.

“Love you, too, Avatar.” Alex breathes the words directly against Kara’s ear, a move that almost causes Kara to pass out, she’s pretty sure. Especially when Alex turns to give Kara’s cheek another kiss, this one dangerously close to her mouth.

Sadly, before Kara can make a decision as to whether or not she wants to reciprocate, the door to the training room slams open, and Alex is on her feet.

“Avatar Kara! Master Danvers!”

When she sees Alex’s arm reach out to help her up, Kara takes it right away, and she’s relieved that J’onn is the one who found them like this. She’s _still_ pretty sure that Avatars aren’t supposed to be dating their trainers – even if Avatar Aang ended up marrying his.

“What’s wrong?” Alex asks, her demeanor back to the professional one she wears around the compound. Even though she usually doesn’t keep it around J’onn, the occasion certainly seems to call for it.

“There’s been an incident at the Avatar Spirit Portal in Republic City. Eye witnesses have reported troubling news,” he explains calmly, although his shoulders are tense with worry. “A group of armed people attacked the air nomads who guard the portal.”

Kara’s back stiffens – she’s gotten to know quite a few of the air nomads of Air Temple Island, and the thought of someone attacking them fills her with an almost insurmountable feeling of rage. So far, Kara has only been able to go into her Avatar state once before, but she thinks this news makes her angry enough to try again.

“What did they want?” Alex asks, keeping her voice calm, even though Kara can feel the anger in her best friend, too. Kara is almost never alone when she visits the island, and Alex has become known to the Air Acolytes just as much as she has. “Did they enter the portal?”

J’onn shakes his head.

“No, from what we’ve gathered, they weren’t even trying to leave the city.” He crosses his arms over his chest. “It looked as though they were there for one reason only…” His eyes fix on Kara, who instinctively reaches out to grab Alex’s hand. “They captured a spirit with some sort of device. We don’t know how, but we need to find out. Kara, as the Avatar, you’re the connection between the human world and the spirit world. Mrs. Sato told me to come and get you; you have quite a few things to discuss.”

The lights seem to dull as Kara takes in J’onn’s words. As head of security (first at the Danvers mansion and now at the training compound in Republic City), he often tries to keep Kara out of trouble, but this time it seems he has quite a different goal for her in mind.

“Are we leaving right now?” Alex’s hand squeezes Kara’s tightly as she asks the question. Clearly, she isn’t planning on letting Kara face this new threat by herself. “Is Mrs. Sato here already?” Alex has only met the revolutionary inventor and the last Avatar’s widow once in her life, since she usually spends her time in the countryside, tinkering away at all kinds of new technology.

“She’s waiting for Kara at her company headquarters,” J’onn replies, eyeing Kara with a mixture of fatherly concern and something that looks an awful lot like empathy. “You should take the time to shower and change.”

After she’s given a nod of understanding, Alex tugs on Kara’s hand.

“Let’s go,” she says, pulling Kara out of the training room.

They don’t get very far before Kara explodes.

As though she’s anticipated her reaction, Alex opens a door next to them and pushes Kara inside, before walking in after her.

Kara barely notices where they are as fire starts lighting up her hands.

“They kidnapped a spirit!” she roars, shooting a ball of flames against the nearest wall. “ _How_ could anyone even _do_ that?!” Part of her training involves learning how to interact with the spirits that live in their world, and so far she’s loved every single one of them. Even the especially weird ones. They were all amazingly kind and funny and _beautiful_. “They’ve never hurt _anyone_!”

“Not anyone who didn’t deserve it, at least,” Alex adds, leaning her back against the door and letting Kara vent her frustration. “We’ll get the spirit back, whoever it is they took.” Her voice is steady and strong, and Kara feels her anger simmer back down at the quiet reassurance.

“This isn’t what I wanted my first job as Avatar to be,” Kara says quietly, raising her hand to extinguish the fires she’s caused in the room. The white-hot anger is quickly followed by a dark and deep melancholy she can barely control.

“I know, Kara,” Alex says kindly, coming up behind Kara and wrapping her arms around her waist. “I know.”

Leaning back in the embrace, Kara lets the first tear fall.

She’s the Avatar – she doesn’t get to be weak.

But, maybe.

Maybe if only Alex sees it.

Maybe that makes it okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's still the 9th of December somewhere in the world, yes? even if it's already the 10th in Germany ???
> 
> This AU was fucking MADE for Alex and Kara - thank woodface for the idea of making Alex a non-bender and making me see the light. bless her soul 
> 
> anyway i only got this idea at like 9pm after desperately trying to work on part 2 of the AoT AU, and I sorta fell in love with this and couldn't stop and then had to _make_ myself stop at 2am. so much for a healthier sleep schedule amirite (i regret already)
> 
> all mistakes are mine
> 
> if you want to support me, find me @goshdarnitjay on tumblr


	10. three times kara made sure alex was fed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **For** : murderiread (& woodface)
> 
>  **Prompt/Word** : "Kara feeding Alex" [Alex x Kara; Fluff]
> 
>  **Summary** : "She listens to the growling noises of hunger from Alex’s stomach."

1.

Wrinkling her forehead, Kara listens to the odd sounds reaching her ears. It takes her a few seconds to make sense of them, but when she does, she studies Alex’s body a little more closely.

It’s the first time the two of them have met up since Kara got her job at CatCo Worldwide Media and she moved to National City. A small part of her had hoped that she and Alex would get to live together again like they did when they were teens, but when Alex quickly dashed that dream by giving up her apartment for Kara, she let it go.

Now, though, as she listens to the growling noises of hunger from Alex’s stomach, she wonders if she should have persisted.

“Did you have lunch?” Kara asks, fully aware of the worried expression on her face. She’d noticed, of course, that Alex had grown thinner since she’d started college (even though, statistically, more students tended to _gain_ weight during that time), but she’d never considered that it might be because Alex doesn’t eat enough.

“Hm?” Alex replies absentmindedly, pulling her eyes away from the television and turning her attention towards her sister. They’d both met up after work at Kara’s new apartment for a relaxing afternoon and dinner, but they hadn’t ordered any food for themselves yet. “Oh, yeah, I had a coffee.” Alex smiles, but Kara’s frown only deepens.

“Coffee doesn’t count as a meal, Alex…” Kara says almost accusingly, moving a little closer to Alex on the couch. “Let’s order dinner right now. Come on.” She pokes Alex in the thigh, before getting up to get one of the many take-out menus Alex has left behind for her in one of the drawers. “You need to eat.”

Rolling her eyes, Alex slumps a little further down on the couch.

“I _am_ eating, Kara – I forgot to eat lunch _once_ ,” she complains, before following Kara into the open kitchen. “Stop worrying, alright? I’m fine.” She points at herself to illustrate the point, but all Kara sees is a husk of the woman she used to go to school wish, especially now that she’s paying more attention.

And yet she knows that openly talking about this issue won’t solve anything, because Alex will get defensive, and then she’ll leave, and Kara will worry even more. Although she’s not one-hundred percent sure, she doesn’t think this has anything to do with an eating disorder – rather, she thinks it falls back on Alex’s workaholic tendencies.

“Okay… Okay, I believe you,” Kara lies, closing the drawer with the take-out menus and giving Alex what she hopes is a convincing smile. “You know me… I worry about you and your fragile humanity.” She punctuates the lie with a gentle jab against Alex’s shoulder, which gets her a relieved smile.

“Right, right,” Alex says, her shoulders losing the tense quality they’d had before. “Let’s just get back to relaxing.” Her hand feels warm and comforting against Kara’s as she pulls her back in the direction of the couch, but Kara barely budges.

“Now that I’m already up, I’ll just get myself a snack. I kind of feel like having a sandwich,” Kara lies again, just as she turns towards the pantry to grab the bread. “Unlike you, my metabolism gets pretty angry with me if I don’t eat every two hours.”

Alex laughs and sits herself down at the kitchen island.

“Do you want me to make it? I know just how you like it,” she says with a bright smile, causing Kara’s chest to fill with warmth and appreciation for her sister. Alex always tries to take care of her, but this time it’s her turn.

“No, that’s alright.” Kara pushes at Alex’s shoulder. “Go back to the TV. One of us should pay attention to what’s going on.”

Without arguing, Alex plants herself back on the couch, a content smile on her face as she fixes her attention back on what they’re watching. For a few long moments, Kara stares at the back of her head while she continues to listen to the rumbling noises coming from Alex’s empty stomach.

She shakes her head, before setting to work.

In a matter of minutes, she’s got a platter full of sandwiches made up from the ingredients she’d bought with Alex over the weekend. And she makes sure that none of the sandwiches contain any tuna or mayonnaise.

When she plops herself down next to Alex, she does so with a satisfied little sigh that’s meant to signify that she can’t wait to dig into her food. It’s only partially an act, because Kara is pretty pleased with how good her spread looks, too.

Picking up the first one, she watches out of the corner of her eye as Alex sneaks a glance at the platter and its contents, but Kara knows she can’t just outright ask her sister if she wants one. If she does that, the game will be up, and Alex will know that Kara is trying to take care of her. And that revelation… well… that doesn’t always go over well.

Because Alex is the protector, even though Kara is the superpowered alien, and she respects that about her sister. She respects and loves that Alex works so hard to keep her happy and safe, as long as she doesn’t work herself to the bone in the process.

Kara moans when she bites into the sandwich.

“Oh my god,” she says through a mouthful of food, already prepared for Alex’s chastising words.

“First you chew, then you swallow, then you speak,” Alex says as though on command, giving Kara a smile. “How many times do I have to say this to you? How long have we known each other at this point?”

With a happy shrug, Kara swallows the first bite and takes a second.

“It’s just really good,” she says, although this time she holds a hand in front of her mouth. “I think we need to go to this market every week from now on.” She closes her eyes as though in rapturous bliss – again only partially an act. The sandwich _is_ very good.

Alex laughs.

“Oh, _we_ do, do we?”

Kara nods enthusiastically, before taking another bite. She half-wonders if she should make a show of shoving the entire rest of the sandwich into her mouth and making Alex laugh again in the process, but then she decides that this party trick would be too messy.

Instead, she swallows and hums happily as she picks up the next one.

“Now that I’ve got you back, I’m not letting you go again – no way,” Kara says sweetly, holding the sandwich a little closer to herself. “I need your critical eye to pick out the best tomatoes and onions. No one picks ‘em like Alex Danvers.”

That gets her another laugh, which makes Kara’s chest puff out a little with pride.

She lets it go after that – at least for a while, as they keep watching; though she considerably slows down her eating speed. Instead of devouring the next four sandwiches like she has the first, she takes her time with them. She chews a little more and swallows slowly; she also waits between bites and sets the sandwiches down more often, as though she’s too enraptured with what she’s seeing on screen.

Once another hour has gone (interspersed with comments about the movie), Kara leans her head against Alex’s shoulder and rucks the platter a little further up her stomach, hoping that the scent will entice her sister.

It takes another fifteen minutes.

“I’m always amazed by how much you can eat. Every time – you’d think I’d get used to it,” Alex says, resting her head against Kara’s hair. “I feel like we should exploit this talent somehow… maybe set you up at a competitive eating contest.”

With a chuckle, Kara puts down her sandwich, letting out a contented sigh.

“Maybe if CatCo doesn’t work out, we can revisit this idea,” Kara counters, before pushing herself into a sitting position and putting the mostly empty platter onto the coffee table. One and a half of the sandwiches remain, and Kara rubs her belly in satisfaction as she leans back against Alex. “All done.”

Alex snorts.

“Really? This is the first time I haven’t seen you finish your food.” She reaches around Kara to wrap her arm around her shoulders. “Are you sick? Maybe I should be the one worrying about _you_.”

Before this line of questioning goes down a rabbit hole Kara didn’t plan for, she shakes her head.

“I had three burgers on the subway home,” she lies with a grin. It was only one burger.

Humming with understanding, Alex rubs Kara’s shoulder.

“Tragic.”

Another fifteen minutes pass.

“I feel bad, you know… Tomorrow, the tomatoes really won’t be that good anymore,” Kara whines, before she curls her own arm around Alex’s stomach. She sniffles dramatically and hides her face in Alex’s shoulder. “Life is so hard.”

Alex’s chest rumbles with her chuckles, and Kara smiles against the fabric of her sweater.

“It really is, isn’t it?” Alex says, moving her hand from Kara’s shoulder to her ear and stroking it gently. Then, in what Kara can only describe as the best moment of her life, Alex reaches out with her free hand and grabs the half-finished sandwich off the platter. “It’d be a shame to let these go to waste.”

Kara almost vibrates, but she keeps it in.

“I thought a coffee was enough to keep you sated,” she teases, in what she hopes will work as reverse psychology to ensure Alex will actually finish her food. “Or is the mighty Alex Danvers admitting that she’s hungry?”

“Clearly, I’m doing you a favor,” Alex replies just before she takes the first bite. She pauses, then she glances at Kara suspiciously. “There’s no mayo on this… you love mayo.” Her eyes narrow a little, but Kara only bats her eyelashes innocently.

“Didn’t feel like having any tonight,” she says, before snuggling back against Alex’s shoulder.

And even though Alex harrumphs, she doesn’t stop eating.

 

 

2.

“What are you doing?” Kara asks as she enters her sister’s lab at the D.E.O.

Alex doesn’t look up from her microscope, around which she’s currently placed a protective box that – upon closer x-ray vision inspection – turns out to be made of lead.

“Studying the reaction of Kryptonian cells to kryptonite, and trying to work out a way to protect you from the exposure,” she says without any fanfare, as though the very act of coming up with a defense against the only substance that can reliably kill Kara on Earth isn’t the most beautiful thing anyone has ever tried to do for Kara. “You?”

With a smile, Kara skips over to Alex and kisses the back of her head.

“Just checking in on you, ‘cause I was bored at work,” Kara replies innocently, without mentioning that she’s taking her lunch break. “I wanted to see if you were doing anything more exciting – capturing any rogue aliens, for example.” She lays her hands on Alex’s hair and starts sifting through it with her fingers, enjoying the feeling of each strand gliding along her skin.

She pretends not to notice how Alex’s back relaxes against her front.

“Sorry to disappoint.” Alex’s hands retreat from the gloves that are attached to the lead box, and she turns up her head to look at Kara. Following the move, Kara lets her fingers glide to the front of Alex’s throat to caress the tendons and skin there. “We haven’t detected any alien activity since Friday.”

“That’s too bad.” Kara’s pointer finger slides under the collar of Alex’s polo shirt to stroke her collarbone. “Kicking ass with you is super fun.”

At her words and gentle caresses, Alex closes her eyes and turns her head into a more comfortable position again, though Kara doesn’t stop stroking and petting her. Instead, she bends down so she can press a more insistent kiss against the crown of Alex’s head, humming happily at the smell of her hair.

“Missed you while I was at work,” Kara murmurs, enjoying the new closeness the two of them have shared ever since Kara started her work as Supergirl and Alex finally told her the truth about the D.E.O. It’s like a wall has broken between them, and Kara can finally be as close to her sister as she wants.

Alex opens her mouth as though she wants to mock Kara’s sentimentality, but then a smiling Vasquez enters the room.

“Hey, Supergirl,” they say with a wave, holding an open box of donuts in one hand and a green smoothie in the other. “Donovan told me you’re here. We had a bunch of donuts left over this morning and I saved them for you.”

Behind Alex’s back, Kara gives the agent a covert thumbs up.

“Agent Vasquez! That’s so nice!” she replies, flying over to them and giving them a quick hug before accepting both the donuts and the green smoothie. “You’re the best!” She’s perhaps a little too enthusiastic, but she makes up for it by setting the items down next to Alex and stuffing a donut into her mouth with a happy little sigh.

Alex raises an eyebrow.

“What’s with the smoothie, Vas?” she asks, eyeing the cup as though it has personally wronged her.

“Oh, Agent Vasquez and I have a deal,” Kara says immediately, picking up the drink and taking a swig of it, even though the taste makes her want to gag a little. “They get me a smoothie from the cafeteria whenever I want one, and I get them their favorite brand of wine from France every couple of weeks.”

A furrow appears between Alex’s brows.

“How come I’ve never heard of this arrangement before now?” She eyes them both skeptically. “And why haven’t you gotten _me_ any special wine from France?”

“It’s a new thing,” Kara defends herself, before she stuffs a donut into Alex’s mouth to shut her up. “If you’d asked me for wine, I would have given you some. It’s not my fault you’re too proud to open your mouth.”

“And that’s my cue to leave,” Vasquez says quickly, before hurrying away from the lab, though not without closing the door behind them, for which Kara is somewhat grateful. If she’s about to force-feed a green smoothie to Alex, she’s going to need to employ some very unfair tactics that the other agents don’t really need to know about.

The donuts are only there as distraction loaded with carbs – the smoothie is what’s important.

And healthy.

Alex chews the donut with a sour look on her face.

“You need to stop embarrassing me in front of my colleagues,” she complains, before taking another bite. “I’ve cultivated an image here that I’d like to keep.” She leans back in her chair and Kara is pleased to notice that Alex’s thighs and stomach look properly filled in with fatty and muscle tissue. “People need to be scared of me.”

“I’m sure they are,” Kara says in what she hopes is an especially patronizing tone.

Grumbling, Alex stuffs the rest of her donut into her mouth and glares at Kara.

Before either of them can say a word, Kara’s phone rings in her boot.

“Kara Danvers,” she answers immediately as she taps the device in her ear. “Oh no, really? That sounds serious.” A grimace is shot Alex’s way. “She threw what at Winn?” Kara puts down the green smoothie next to Alex’s microscope – ensuring that it’s clearly visible and in a prominent position. “I’ll be right there.”

She hangs up on Winn, trying desperately not to smile.

“I guess you need to go?” Alex asks with a raised eyebrow, her gaze fixed on the food next to her. She doesn’t say anything, and Kara doesn’t mention the fact that she’s a terrible actress or that Alex knows there are never any donuts left after the morning briefing.

Kara nods sadly.

“I’ll catch you after work?” she asks, her hands cupping Alex’s cheeks.

“Sure,” Alex says, a hint of sarcasm in her voice. “Don’t forget your smoothie.”

Kara smirks.

“You finish it for me – I can’t carry that when I fly.” She presses a loving kiss against Alex’s forehead, before superspeeding out of the room and leaving Alex behind to finish the food that Vasquez has brought in just for her.

An hour later, Kara gets a message on her phone from the agent, telling her that they’ve seen an empty cup with flecks of green juice in the trash.

In response, she sends Alex a heart emoji.

She gets a smile in return.

 

 

3.

“I’ll be right there,” Kara tells J’onn as she zips through the sky above National City. “Anything I should know before I make contact?” It’s a code word they’ve started using, and J’onn knows right away what she wants to know.

“This is a special case,” he says, making Kara stop midair. “I’d say you should be prepared.”

“Noted. Thanks, J’onn,” Kara says just before she disconnects the call, and immediately changes course. Turning around, she flies in the opposite direction, pouring on the speed as much as she dares. She rises higher and higher so the likelihood of destroying any glass is smaller as she hurtles herself across state lines.

It takes her a little over five minutes longer to reach the D.E.O. than it normally would, but none of the agents around her mention it as she strolls by them with a paper bag in her hand. When she passes Vasquez, they look at the bag before giving her a thumbs up.

She nods to them.

Alex is hunched over one of the strategy tables, her shoulders tight with worry and the rings around her eyes especially deep, despite the make-up trying to cover them up.

Kara sets the paper back down in front of her straight away.

“From your favorite hot dog shop,” she says, her hand settling on the small of Alex’s back.

“The one in Chicago?” Alex asks hopefully, not even pretending that she isn’t hungry or that she hasn’t worked through the night. Kara doesn’t want to know how many meals she’s skipped because she was so focused on her work. When Kara nods to confirm the origin of the food, Alex’s shoulders hunch in appreciation and relief. “You are my _favorite_ person.”

It’s a testament to how hungry Alex is that she opens the bag and pulls out the first hot dog without moving away from the strategy table. While Kara continues to rub her sister’s tense back, the other agents around them all turn away when Alex bites into the food and closes her eyes.

“This is so good,” Alex says after she’s swallowed the first bite. “Thank you.”

“No worries,” Kara replies, although _she_ _’s_ very worried about Alex’s health. She presses a kiss against her sister’s temple, before making meaningful eye contact with Vasquez, who silently scurries away to procure a bottle of water for Alex. “How’s the situation?”

In between bites, Alex explains what they’re planning, but Kara only half listens.

She’s too focused on Alex’s vital signs and on how tired her sister looks. If she’s at all honest with herself, Kara wants nothing more than to grab Alex under the arms and knees and carry her into one of the many sleeping rooms around the desert base.

“You got me another one?” Alex asks as she spots the second hot dog in the bag.

“This one’s with extra ketchup and pickles,” Kara informs her (perhaps a little too lovingly for this quite public setting), and wipes a fleck of hot dog sauce from Alex’s chin with her thumb. “If you want, I can fly out and get you another bag later.”

Alex smiles.

“You’re spoiling me,” she says quietly, even though she doesn’t hesitate to pull the second hot dog free from its bag. “You don’t have to get me anything else, Kara – this is more than enough, trust me.” She takes another bite and hums happily.

A part of Kara wants to tell her sister that she would fly all the way to Mars and back to get Alex a special kind of food if she wanted it, but she keeps it inside. Now isn’t the time, especially not with their colleagues so close to them. Though she doesn’t hold herself back from briefly rubbing her hand along Alex’s side to feel for herself that her sister is healthy and well-nourished.

“I love you,” she whispers instead, quiet enough that only Alex can hear her.

She knows she doesn’t need to say it.

She knows that the food she brought has already expressed her affection better than any words ever could. But she says it anyway, because sometimes she worries that Alex doesn’t believe her. She worries, too, that Alex forgets to eat because she’s too busy trying to _earn_ Kara’s love, and it’s a thought that scares Kara more than anything else.

Alex smiles at her.

“Thank you,” she says, looking down at the food in her hand.

With an almost inaudible sigh, Kara leans her head against her sister’s temple and allows herself to feel content in the knowledge that Alex will be safe.

At least for the moment.

At least as long as Kara is there to take care of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Alex taking care of each other is my drug. i need it
> 
> hope you enjoyed!
> 
> all mistakes are mine
> 
> if you want to support me, find me on tumblr @goshdarnitjay


	11. powerless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **For** : JoyfulTemplar (& woodface)
> 
> **Prompt/Word** : "Kara's solar flare lasts for too long - Alex worries" [Alex x Kara; Mild Angst]
> 
> **Summary** : "Are you sure you’re feeling okay?"

“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” Alex asked for what felt like the hundredth time in the last three days. Ever since Kara had blown out her powers during her last fight with Reign, Alex had been anxious to get Kara back on her superhero feet, even though Kara wasn’t nearly as worried about the whole situation.

Kara’s hand settled over Alex’s on the dinner table.

“Yes, Alex, I’m alright,” she said gently, stroking her fingers over her girlfriend’s knuckles and enjoying the temporary change in sensation. She couldn’t quite put her finger on why it felt so different to touch Alex without her powers – except for the relief of not having to constantly think about how much pressure she needed to apply so she wouldn’t accidentally crush her girlfriend’s human body. “Fighting Reign was tough… but I’ll be fine. It takes as long as it takes.”

Picking up her spoon, Alex grumbled quietly to herself.

“You’ve never been without your powers for this long. What if something happens to you while you’re like this? What if Lord realizes you’re vulnerable and stages an attack?” She squirmed uncomfortably in her seat at the idea, and Kara leaned over to give her girlfriend a sweet kiss on the cheek. “I’d feel a lot better if you stayed at the D.E.O. while we wait for this to blow over.”

Kara shook her head.

“We’ve talked about this – I can’t skip out on my life as Kara Danvers every time something interferes with Supergirl. I’ve taken too many sick days as is,” she said, squeezing Alex’s hand a little tighter. “Besides, J’onn is out there as Supergirl _right now_. No one will suspect a thing.”

Again, Alex squirmed in her seat, though she didn’t try to change Kara’s mind again. Instead, she finished her plate of soup in silence, while Kara thought about how to ease her girlfriend’s mind.

“You know…” Kara started with a slightly mischievous smile on her face. “The last time I blew out my powers, they came back after I jumped down an elevator shaft…” She walked her fingers up Alex’s left forearm.

“Let’s not try that this time.” Alex seemed too deep in thought to pick up on what Kara was trying to imply through her touch, not even when she dragged her nails down the back of Alex’s head in a suggestive manner.

“I was thinking,” Kara continued, scooting her chair a little closer, “that there are other ways of getting my adrenaline up. Much less dangerous and more exciting ways…” She stroked her right forefinger down Alex’s neck until she could pull softly at Alex’s white and blue plaid shirt. “If you get what I’m saying.”

Her brows furrowed, Alex looked over to Kara and received the biggest eyebrow wiggle she’d ever seen. For a moment, she appeared as though she had no idea what Kara was trying to tell her – then, her cheeks flushed.

When Kara had fought Red Tornado two years ago, the two of them hadn’t been together yet, and Kara hadn’t lost her powers at all since that time. At last not in a situation that would have allowed for any sort of sexual acts to take place.

Now, though…

Alex was curious.

And Kara felt about ready to jump her girlfriend’s bones.

“Um…” Alex began, experiencing just a bit of light-headedness when Kara got up and started undoing the buttons on her blouse. “I—” Her eyes were trained on Kara’s fingers and the skin that was revealed ever so slowly. “I guess we could—” Alex cleared her throat. “It would only make sense to—” She nodded to herself.

Kara chuckled.

As soon as her blouse was undone, she let it drop to the floor and beckoned Alex towards her with an outstretched finger.

“Time to see what you can do for me when I’m not trying to hold back,” Kara purred, taking small steps away from Alex and towards the bedroom. She’d almost made it around the dinner table, when she walked into a chair and lost her balance.

“Kara!” Alex called out worriedly, her arousal immediately forgotten as she rushed to Kara’s side. “Are you okay? Did you hit your head?” Her hands were running all over Kara – checking her arms, her legs, her back, her head.

Kara groaned.

“Fudging fudge balls,” she complained as she sat back up with Alex’s help. “I was trying to be suave.” She rubbed her back and aimed a pout at her girlfriend. “I forgot how much it hurts to trip and fall when you’re human.”

With a sigh of relief, Alex wrapped her arms around Kara and hugged her close, burying her nose in Kara’s shoulder.

“Don’t scare me like that,” she whispered, even though she knew she was being overly dramatic. She’d stumbled and tripped a million times throughout her life, and she’d never been mortally wounded in the process. Still, she’d never had to worry about Kara hurting herself on _furniture_ before. “I always forget how much I rely on your powers to keep you safe.”

Patting Alex’s back, Kara took a moment to enjoy how they were pressed together. Especially the way that her girlfriend’s arms and body were squeezing her just a little too tightly, because Alex was used to hugging a body that needed a little extra effort to feel something.

She wanted to tell Alex that she didn’t need to worry, but Kara knew that was futile.

So, at least for the moment, she simply basked in the extra attention, and allowed herself to be fussed over.

Just for now.

 

-

 

Two days later, Kara was starting to feel pretty sick of Alex’s constant hovering.

“Alex, please stop,” Kara said through gritted teeth as Alex peeked over her shoulder for about the billionth time that evening. “I’m not going to cut myself while chopping vegetables. Please get back to the stove.”

Looking a little sheepish, Alex kissed Kara’s shoulder before she got back to the two steaks she was cooking for them. Another side effect of the solar flare was Kara’s reduced appetite, which meant that they didn’t have to spend three times as much money on food as other people for a change.

It was at once relaxing and frustrating, because Kara genuinely enjoyed eating, and she didn’t much like feeling too full. Her Kryptonian stomach never complained when she’d accidentally stuffed too much food into it – her human stomach couldn’t say the same.

“Sorry,” Alex said, turning the steaks over in the frying pan. “It’s been five days and your powers still aren’t back.” She ran a hand through her hair and sighed. “It’s making me jittery – I feel like something’s about to go wrong.”

“It might, if you keep talking about it,” Kara retorted with a little more malice in her voice than usual. She loved Alex more than any other person in the world, but sometimes her constant worrying made Kara feel annoyed. And she couldn’t even go flying to work off the stress.

Sadly, rough sex hadn’t fixed the problem for them either, no matter how hard Alex tried to make Kara scream. Although, to be perfectly honest, Kara wasn’t too angry that the sex hadn’t helped – not when it had been _so damn good_.

“Clark said that the longest solar flare he’s ever had lasted no more than four days,” Alex said with a scowl, poking the steak with her spatula. “I’m worried that Reign did something to you before you powered yourself out.”

The words forced an answering scowl onto Kara’s face.

“You keep talking about my powers and how awful it is that they aren’t here right now,” she said quickly, putting down the knife she was holding and crossing her arms over her chest. “Why are my powers the only thing you care about all of a sudden?” Her heart was beating fast and she could feel her cheeks darken with blood in her anger. “And what _if_ they never come back? What if you’re stuck with some half-functional Kryptonian for a girlfriend? Would that be so bad?”

At this point, Kara did not want to live on this planet without her powers anymore, not after she’d seen how many good things she could do with them. But there was something about the way Alex had been talking about her powers these last few days that had made her start to doubt herself. On a logical level, Kara knew that Alex loved her for more than her powers, but the purely emotional side of her, the one that was terrified of losing her abilities, was projecting all of Kara’s own fears onto her girlfriend.

Alex whipped around straight away, her mouth dropping open in affronted shock.

“Are you implying that I would leave you, if you lost your powers for good someday?” she asked, her voice dangerously low and laced with indignity. “Because if you think that little of me and my feelings for you, then I don’t know what to tell you.”

After another moment of angry staring, Kara’s chest deflated.

“No,” she murmured, looking away from Alex and towards the living room. “No, of course I don’t…”

Alex’s jaw was so tight with stress it seemed seconds away from snapping off.

“I need some time,” she said, moving the half-cooked steaks off the heat, before turning off the stove. “I think you should sleep on the couch tonight.” Even though she was speaking calmly, it was clear that Kara’s vague insinuations had hurt her.

“I’m sorry,” Kara said, taking a step forward to touch Alex’s arm. Before she could make contact, Alex walked over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of beer. “Alex…”

“I’m not leaving you alone, because I’m genuinely worried about you, but I don’t want to talk to you for the rest of the night.” Alex’s back was turned, but Kara could hear the pain in her voice. “I can’t believe that you would think, even for a second, that your powers play _any_ part in how much I love you.” She closed the refrigerator door and stalked out of the kitchen and towards the bedroom.

“I’m sorry, Alex!” Kara tried again, though before long she was greeted only by the closed door to their shared bedroom and the silence that followed.

 

-

 

The next morning, Kara waited for Alex at the kitchen island.

She’d spent the rest of the evening with her head in her hands, thinking about what to say to her girlfriend and how to apologize properly for the careless thing she’d said to her. As expected, Alex came out of the bedroom at six AM, her hair disheveled and the bags under her eyes more pronounced than usual.

“Hey,” Kara said softly as Alex walked over to the kitchen and grabbed a mug to make herself some coffee. “About last night…” Kara drew her fingers along the top of the island and stared at the back of Alex’s head. “I didn’t mean to imply that you only care about the alien part of me. I know that’s not true, and I wish I could take it back.”

A grunt was her only response, though Kara was relieved that Alex was responding at all.

“I’ve been trying to act tough these last few days, but… I’m scared, too,” Kara admitted, lowering her gaze from Alex to the half-full bowl of cereal in front of her. “I’m scared that my powers won’t come back and that I’ll lose being Supergirl and my friends and…”

“And me?” Alex asked, finally turning around and giving Kara a sad look.

“No!” Kara said quickly, her back ramrod-straight. “No, Alex, never.”

With a sigh, Alex walked over to Kara and gave her a gentle hug.

“I think I overreacted last night,” she whispered, burying her face in Kara’s neck. “I’ve been so worried about you, and I know that gets on your nerves sometimes.” She pulled away and cupped Kara’s cheek. “I love you so much, Kara, and the thought of you thinking that I’m just some sort of cape chaser…”

“I don’t,” Kara said quickly and pressed a short kiss against Alex’s lips. “I swear – it was just a dumb thing I said. I didn’t mean it; I promise.” She pressed their foreheads together and wrapped her arms around Alex’s shoulders.

Alex breathed out a sigh of relief, and Kara pulled her girlfriend in a little tighter.

And a little tighter…

And a little…

“Um, Kara…” Alex said through gritted teeth. “I think your—powers—”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Kara said as she let go of Alex, who wheezed and coughed as air rushed back into her lungs. “I didn’t even realize…” Her hands settled on Alex’s shoulders, before running down her chest and back. “I didn’t break anything, did I? Oh man…”

“I’m fine,” Alex reassured her, though she hit her own chest a few times.

While Kara was still worried, Alex smiled.

“Are you x-raying my chest right now?” she asked lovingly, reaching out with her hand and tilting Kara’s chin up.

“Maybe…” Kara admitted, right before she pulled Alex into another hug. This time, she paid closer attention to her own strength, and Alex snuggled even deeper into her embrace. “I’m still really sorry I said that to you.”

“I know,” Alex replied, running her hands over Kara’s back. Pulling back from the embrace, she gave Kara a significant look. “But I promise, Kara – if you ever lose your powers for good, I’ll love you just as much as I do now.”

Blushing at the intensity of Alex’s stare, Kara nodded.

“I know,” she whispered, before drawing her girlfriend into another embrace. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why do i love these fucking goobers so much ????? we don't know
> 
> all mistakes are mine
> 
> find me on tumblr @goshdarnitjay, if you want to support me


	12. it's the smol things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **For** : sandpix
> 
> **Prompt/Word** : "small scenes" [Alex x Kara; Fluff & Action]
> 
> **Summary** : "Three short kalex ficlets."
> 
> **Warning** : Mentions of blood in the third ficlet.

1.

Alex grumbled gently in her sleep as she felt strong arms wrap around her from behind and drawing her back against a slightly too warm chest.

“Hm,” she whimpered when a hand settled on her stomach.

“Go back to sleep, sweetheart,” a lovely voice whispered against her ear. “It’s just me.”

Still mostly asleep, Alex ran her own hand along the arm that was wrapped around her waist.

“Kara?” she breathed, turning her face a little to the side, bringing it into the perfect position to have it kissed by Kara’s mouth.

“I’m here.” Kara’s lips settled against Alex’s neck. “I’m here.”

Held so tightly, Alex allowed her body to relax once more, her hand pulling Kara’s up and against her chest. While she drifted off, she just barely registered the small kisses placed against her shoulder and neck. If Alex had been in her right mind, she would have forced herself to stay up and smother Kara in hugs and love, but her body was too exhausted to wake her up, and she’d barely slept these last several days.

For her part, Kara couldn’t rest. Not now that she finally had Alex back in her arms.

“I love you,” she whispered against the soft and vulnerable skin under her lips. “I missed you.”

The seven days apart had been torture, and Kara didn’t plan on leaving this dimension again anytime soon. Not without her wife by her side.

 

2.

With a sigh, Kara leaned a little further back in the black office chair and tapped her fingers noiselessly on the table in front of her. She technically understood why she needed to be here for this budget meeting, but she was still ready to bolt the second the stupid explanations were done. She understood that she needed to be careful around town with the level of destruction she caused, but there were some situations where she couldn’t help it. Certain enemies couldn’t be fought without throwing them into a couple of buildings.

Kara had already registered herself as a natural disaster so the people of National City could get the proper insurance coverage – there really wasn’t anything else she could do.

Next to her, Alex was avidly taking notes.

_Probably thinking about all the chemicals she wants to order for the next quarter_ , Kara thought lazily as she focused all of her attention on her girlfriend. _Sweet little nerd_.

Supporting her chin on her right palm, Kara leaned her elbow on the table and stared at the side of Alex’s face, taking in the nuances of her skin and committing every little detail to memory. Her eyes traced along the flecks of gold and green in her girlfriend’s beautiful hazel eyes, before following the back of Alex’s nose and imagining her fingers gliding over the tiny scar on Alex’s right cheek.

While Kara continued to watch, Alex kept her attention on the piece of paper in front of her, and it took her several more minutes to realize that Kara had stopped listening to the man at the front who was speaking in favor of drinking in Alex’s body.

Kara’s eyes had dropped lower at this point.

Pulling out her phone, Alex started typing and sent out a quick text, before continuing to take notes.

Kara, who had been watching, pulled out her own phone.

 

> [Alex MY GIRLFRIEND!!! Danvers]: I hope you aren’t using your x-ray vision to look through my clothes while you’re supposed to be paying attention. _Sent 02:32PM_.

 

The message almost made her giggle, and Kara had half a mind to write something lewd in response. Instead, she put away her phone and surreptitiously moved her chair a little closer to Alex, keeping her eyes fixed on the speaker as though she were actually paying attention for a change.

Once she was close enough, she placed her free hand in her lap and waited for another minute, keeping her head balanced innocently on her right palm.

Then, when she was sure that no one was looking at her, she moved her left hand to the inside of Alex’s thigh, enjoying it immensely when Alex’s entire body froze.

Kara steadfastly ignored the _what do you think you_ _’re_ _doing_ -look directed her way.

Slowly, she moved her index finger along the inside of Alex’s thigh and pressed a little, forcing Alex to move her knees further apart so Kara’s hand had more space to work with. Inside, she was giggling madly as her fingers rose higher on Alex’s inner thigh, before teasingly stroking over the seam of her tactical pants.

A minute later, Alex was on her feet.

“Excuse me, everyone, but there’s been an incident at the lab,” she said professionally, her cheeks barely showing any sort of flush, even though Kara could smell the scent of Alex’s arousal.

A moment later, Kara leaned back in her chair and rolled her eyes.

“I’m bored,” she stated loudly to no one in particular.

With a sigh, J’onn rubbed his forehead and waved her off.

“Yay, thanks!” she said, before floating off her chair and fleeing the room before J’onn could change his mind. Or before he realized that Alex had only left because Kara had coerced her in a pretty substantial way.

Kara was still snickering by the time she was pulled into a janitor’s closet on the way to Alex’s lab.

 

3.

“Shit,” Alex groaned as she was thrown against a building, her kryptonite suit barely bracing her for the impact. She’d lost her swords somewhere on the other side of the street, and she was running out of ideas for how to beat this thing. Her back burned with pain as she pushed herself back to her feet, trying to ignore the fact that the concrete she’d been thrown into had a dent. “Fuck.”

The giant grey ogre roared in spite and pulled at his long, white ponytail.

Alex had no idea how that thing could see anything with those bone spikes across its eyes, but she wasn’t the one who had come up with such a stupid creature design.

Her entire body was shaking, but she only spat the blood from her mouth and clenched her fists tighter. Roughly, she wiped at the stream of blood rushing down the side of her face – when had she gotten that cut?

“Fucking shit,” she said as the next mouth of blood she spat to the floor was accompanied by a tooth.

Her dentist at the D.E.O. was going to be pissed about that one.

“Come on, you piece of shit,” she grumbled to herself as she got back into a fighting position, ignoring the way she could barely support herself without the wall behind her. “Let’s finish this once and for all.”

Across from her, Doomsday charged, his ponytail fluttering in the wind behind him, making the whole affair look rather ridiculous. When the sight of her imminent death only made her laugh, Alex conceded that maybe she’d lost a little too much blood. Or that the cut on her head was likely a serious head injury that was accompanied by a concussion.

With her arms raised in front of her, Alex realized that three fingers on her left hand were broken, and that she was missing the entire right sleeve of her kryptonite suit. It explained why Alex had felt the last punch so acutely.

“Interesting,” she murmured, even though Doomsday was still coming towards her.

She was distracted, but she couldn’t help it.

The next time she looked up, she was greeted with the sight of a red cape fluttering in front of her.

“Catwoman, get Alex out of here!” Kara’s voice rang through the street. From her vantage point, Alex could see that Kara had stopped Doomsday’s fist from making contact, and that her eyes were glowing dangerously.

“Aye, aye, boss.”

Suddenly, Selina was next to her, her arms wrapped around Alex’s waist.

“Hold on tight, hot stuff,” she said as she wrapped Alex’s left arm around her shoulders, before picking her up bridal style.

At this point, Alex could barely make sense of what was going on around her.

“No,” she said as she watched Kara use her heat vision to push the ugly gray ogre further away from them. “Let me go.” She wanted to shout, but her voice came out quiet and indistinct. “I need to fight.” Her eyes followed Kara as she flew straight into Doomsday’s stomach to knock him over. “Put me down.”

“I will, sweetheart,” Selina said with grim determination as she continued to run with Alex in her arms. “Just as soon as we find yourself an ambulance or a hospital bed. Supergirly will be inconsolable if we don’t patch you up. As will everyone else.”

Alex wanted to reach out for Kara, but her wife was getting smaller and smaller in the distance.

“No,” she whispered again as she watched Kara taking a fist to the face. “No…”

She was feeling faint.

Too faint.

“Stay with me, Alex,” Selina growled. “Now isn’t the time to lose consciousness.” She picked up her pace, relief coloring her features when she spotted a D.E.O. helicopter in the air. “Hold on just a little longer, baby.”

“Kara,” Alex whispered, her head lolling against Selina’s strong bicep. “Kara.”

“Supergirl will be fine,” Selina reassured her. “She always is.”

Ahead of them, the helicopter made to set down.

Inside, Selina could see Ivy’s worried face.

“Just hold on until Ivy can fix you up.” Selina’s voice had grown a little frantic, perhaps because Alex’s eyes had mostly closed at this point and she was only babbling incoherently. More blood dripped from her mouth and head wound. “Goddamn it, Alex, do not do this to me.”

Harley met them halfway.

“Go help Kara,” Selina yelled to her over the roar of the helicopter.

Without a word of reply, Harley saluted and gently ran her hand through Alex hair, before taking off at a breakneck speed. Above them, Selina could see the distinct shapes of Superman and Wonder Woman zipping through the air, giving her a moment of relief.

Now that help was coming, she and Ivy could focus on Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL GUESS WHAT UNIVERSITY DID: IT INTERFERED WITH MY SCHEDULE. you'll be glad to hear that the presentation I prepared yesterday and which took up all of my time went very well! Anyway that's why there will be 2 things today! To make up for yesterday. Also I wrote that first ficlet, because I was super tired and wanted to be asleep. So Alex was asleep. Shortly after I wrote that, I was also asleep
> 
> all mistakes are mine
> 
> if you want to support me, find me on tumblr @goshdarnitjay


	13. melt in my hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **For** : murderiread (& woodface)
> 
> **Prompt/Word** : "Kara's first snow" [Alex x Kara; Fluff]
> 
> **Summary** : "Alex can't resist Kara's pout and they go out in the snow together."

“Holy shit,” Alex swore as she stared out of the window. “Climate change is real.”

“What do you mean?” Kara asked from her position on the couch. Her eyes were glued to the television, where talking heads were discussing Superman’s latest efforts to stop the world from exploding.

“I don’t know how to say this,” Alex said, her mouth hanging open as she continued to stare. “But it’s snowing. In California.” Her eyes followed the thick white flakes as they sank to the ground outside. She’d seen the stuff in person before, when her parents had taken her to New York for Hanukkah a couple of years ago. But she’d never seen it _here_ – understandably.

Kara, however, was on her feet faster than human eyes could perceive.

“Snow?!” she called out excitedly, walking over quickly to stand next to Alex by the window. “But this part of Earth isn’t properly equipped to make this weather.” Her eyes had grown large with wonder, and her hands were vibrating with excitement.

“Sometimes it is, especially when we mess with the fucking atmosphere,” Alex replied, mentally going through her closet and wondering how many layers of clothes she would need to make sure she didn’t freeze to death.

“Rao, Rao, Rao,” Kara whispered to herself, even though she wasn’t supposed to talk about her deity anymore. It looked like the prospect of seeing something new and exciting on Earth had overridden everything else in her brain. “We didn’t have snow on Krypton – we didn’t even have _rain_.”

“I know.” Grabbing Kara’s arm, Alex pulled her towards the stairs. “Let’s get dressed so you can experience this firsthand.” To be fair, Alex was just as excited as Kara, but she had the dignity and – Kara’s squeal made Alex turn around and give her foster sister a wide grin. “I _know_.”

“This will be so awesome,” Kara sing-songed as she grabbed Alex around the waist and floated them both up the stairs, feeling confident in the knowledge that Eliza wasn’t around to admonish Alex for letting Kara indulge in her powers. “We can do all the things I read about online!” Kara gasped. “Oh my god, Alex, can we play the _Frozen_ songs while we build a snowman? Please, please, pretty please?”

Even though Alex was seventeen and way too cool at the moment to openly like _Frozen_ , Kara’s puppy dog eyes made her cave instantly.

“Alright, fine,” she conceded, laughing exuberantly when Kara squeezed her a little harder and flew them into their shared bedroom. “But we’re only listening to them in our backyard. If we go anywhere else, the _Frozen_ songs stay out of it. Deal?”

Kara could have been sneaky about it. She could have forced Alex to buckle with another look, or perhaps a cuddle, but she didn’t mind saying yes to this compromise. They were the same age, technically, but Kara had far fewer hang-ups about enjoying the things she liked openly. Maybe it was the Kryptonian in her. Or maybe it was because Kara had learned when she was fourteen that people would find reasons to bully you regardless, whether you liked what was appropriate or not.

“Sounds like a plan,” Kara said excitedly, pressing a kiss to Alex’s cheek and letting her go, so they could both root through their closets to find appropriate attire. Kara couldn’t freeze, of course, but she still had a human appearance to maintain.

Alex ignored how the kiss made her cheeks flush.

“Good, good,” she said instead, opening her closet doors and hiding her face inside. “I have a reputation to maintain.” She tugged at the pink strands in her hair, before shucking off her pair of baby blue pajama pants.

Having had many such conversations, Kara thought it wise not to say anything to that. Although she felt tempted to make Alex wear one of her soft Disney sweaters under the guise of warmth and comfort during these cold times.

In the end, though, Kara only forced Alex to wear one of her warmer jackets – since Alex had thrown out most of her old clothes the year before, which included all of the jackets that weren’t made of black leather.

“This is humiliating,” Alex grumbled as Kara zipped up the mint green jacket all the way up to Alex’s throat. “You better hope no one sees us.” She lifted her chin obediently when Kara wrapped one of her scarfs around Alex’s neck, before tugging it into the jacket.

“Oh, stop complaining, you big baby,” Kara chided her, her hands settling on Alex’s cheeks. “You can stop the tough act for one day.” She pressed a kiss against Alex’s wrinkled nose. “This could be the best day of our lives.”

Alex’s scowl melted under Kara’s sweet optimism – and, perhaps, under the kisses.

“Okay,” she acquiesced, sticking her hands into a pair of her mom’s gloves.

Kara herself looked rather cozy in her own jacket and scarf, although she’d forgone a hat. In contrast, Alex’s hair and ears were tucked into a beanie, and Kara nodded at her handiwork, satisfied that her best friend wouldn’t be cold outside.

“Are you ready?” Kara asked as she dragged Alex over to the front door.

“Just open the door, you dork,” Alex teased her, her shoe hitting Kara’s calf.

“Someone’s eager to be seen in this gorgeous coat,” Kara sassed her right back, tugging softly on the jacket Alex was wearing, before she wrapped her hand around the handle and pushed it down. “Who knew mint green was so punk.”

“Shut up,” Alex said with a grin, shivering when a gust of wind entered the hallway from outside. “Let’s go, before I change my mind.” Her hands settled on Kara’s back and made as though to push, despite knowing she would never be able to move Kara – her foster sister was too heavy.

Kara’s arms opened up as she stepped off the porch and stood under the heavy snowfall. In the time it had taken them to get dressed and tease each other, the ground had been covered in a blanket of white, and Alex grinned as she tugged the door closed behind her.

“Wow,” Kara whispered as she lifted her face towards the sky. The flakes melted into water on her skin right away, but they lingered a little longer on her arms. “Wow,” she repeated, turning around on the spot. Her grin almost seemed to split her face in half, and Alex watched from the porch as Kara lifted up her hands towards the sky.

A familiar warmth settled in Alex’s chest.

“Everything you hoped it would be?” she asked softly as she leaned against the wood beam next to her.

Kara turned back to Alex slowly, her hands now held towards the house.

“It’s amazing,” she breathed, her fingers stretching towards Alex. “It’ll be perfect once you’re out here with me.” Her eyes were shining with joy, and Alex didn’t hesitate to join her, her gloves settling into Kara’s bare ones. They had a pair of gloves tucked into Kara’s pockets, but for now, Kara just wanted to feel everything.

With a gentle smile, Alex let herself get pulled into a hug.

“Everything’s better with snow,” Kara decided, pressed her nose against Alex’s cheek. “It’s like you made this happen just for me.”

“I wish,” Alex replied, pulling away from the embrace so she could tug Kara into the backyard. “I would totally make it snow for you every day, if I could.” She was careful not to slip on the ground, though she had a feeling she and Kara would probably end up breaking at least one thing today during their time outside.

“I don’t think the people of Midvale would appreciate that very much,” Kara shot back, letting go of Alex’s fingers once they’d reached the wide expanse of covered grass behind their house. Now that no one could see her, she fell to her knees in the snow and stuck her hands into the white powder, enjoying the way it crunched under her already wet jeans.

“Screw them. If I want to make it snow for you, they can suck it.” While she watched Kara’s fascination with the icy flakes melting in her hands, Alex pulled out her phone and pulled up Kara’s favorite Hanukkah and _Frozen_ playlists to combine them.

With a radiant smile, Kara let herself flop down onto her back, her eyes staring up at the sky.

“I wonder what snowy clouds look like from up there,” she whispered, completely unperturbed by the cold or by the sensation of her clothes getting soaked with melted snow. “I wish…” She trailed off, but Alex knew what she was saying.

“Maybe when you’re older,” she said, crouching down next to Kara and giving her a hopeful smile. “I know mom and Clark don’t approve, but you’re your own person. You can be a superhero if you want… someday… when you’re ready.”

“Yeah…” Kara said, smiling up at Alex, her wet hand lifting up and immediately enveloped in between Alex’s own. Even through the gloves, Alex could feel the heat emanating from Kara’s body, not the least bit hindered by the snow all around them.

It was comforting.

Safe.

“Maybe I can be your badass sidekick,” Alex replied softly, ignoring the cold flakes landing on her nose.

Kara snorted.

“The Woman of Steel and the Science Nerd,” she teased Alex, before poking her in the chest, causing Alex to topple over onto her butt, the music from her pocket muffled for a moment as her arm covered it to protect her phone.

“Kara!” Alex protested, just as Kara dug her fingers into Alex’s sides.

Laughing, Kara let up and flopped back to the ground.

“Alien menace,” Alex grumbled as she pushed herself back into a sitting position.

“You _love_ me,” Kara trilled, rucking up a bit of snow and flicking it at Alex before it could melt in her palm.

Grumbling, Alex picked up her own handful and tried to stuff it directly into Kara’s face, only for Kara to roll away at the last second, her laughter filling the entire yard. For the next couple of minutes, they tried to smother each other in snow, with Kara resorting to using her super strength only once – something which Alex would not be letting go in the foreseeable future.

“I would make a great sidekick,” Alex panted as she laid back down, her ass cold from being on the ground but the rest of her body thrumming with warmth. “I’ll always protect you, Kara. Especially if you decide to become a hero.” She turned her head to the side to look at Kara’s smiling face. “I’ll beat up all your enemies.”

Kara’s glowing look of happiness made Alex so flustered that she had to look away.

“Thank you,” Kara breathed, curling herself against Alex’s chest, totally uncaring of the dirt and snow the two of them had gotten stuck to themselves over the course of the last few minutes. “You’re the best.”

As soon as her hand curled around Alex’s jacket to tug her closer, Alex knew it was time to get up.

She wasn’t ready. She wasn’t sure what she was doing.

Pulling away from Kara and her beautiful eyes that were brimming with love, Alex pushed herself to her feet and shook out her jacket and her legs. With a forced little laugh, she brushed a bit of snow off her beanie.

“I’m gross,” she said, choosing deliberately not to use the word _wet_. “And my clothes are totally soaked now.”

Kara, who seemed perfectly aware of what Alex’s problem was, simply shrugged.

“I can fix that for you, if you want. I’ve been practicing with my heat vision,” she said, looking up at Alex from the ground, though she’d pushed herself into a sitting position. “I promise I won’t singe anything off.”

For a moment, Alex looked at Kara with skepticism, then she shrugged and waved her hands around, indicating to Kara to get on with the flash drying.

The feeling was strange.

Kara’s eyes glowed red – something which Alex didn’t like to think about often, because it made her feel hot under the collar – and then Alex felt her clothes turn from wet to dry in less than a second. There wasn’t even a warm gust of wind.

“Damn,” she whispered, looking down at her jeans and pulling at them with fascination. “That’s amazing, Kara.” Even the back of her clothes was dry. When she turned around again, Kara’s eyes were back to normal and she was grinning up at Alex with a proud expression.

“Told you,” she said, before getting to her feet as well. “Just need to do me now.” Watching it happen a second time wasn’t any less amazing. “Now!” Kara clapped her hands together, before starting to sing. “Do you want to build a snowman?”

With a sigh, Alex threw up her hands and nodded.

 

-

 

Hours later, Alex sagged down on the couch.

Her legs felt heavy and tired and the rest of her body wasn’t far behind.

“Thank you for today,” Kara said gently as she pressed a cup of hot chocolate into Alex’s hand. “I haven’t had this much fun in a long time.” Kara’s own cup was already half-empty by the time she sat down next to Alex. As always, Kara didn’t seem tired at all, but Alex had grown used to this unfairness years ago.

A half-shrug was Alex’s only answer. She didn’t need Kara to thank her for the day out – it had been just as fun for _her_ , after all.

Once the mug in her hands was empty, Kara put it down on the coffee table, before snuggling up against Alex’s side. Despite the many times she’d been flash-dried, Alex’s legs were still cold from having been outside the whole day. With a happy little sigh, Kara placed her hand on Alex’s right thigh and started rubbing it gently to get some circulation and warmth back into it. She could have used her heat vision again, but Kara chose the hands-on approach. For reasons.

Alex sighed with appreciation as she felt Kara’s warm hands on her.

“Thanks,” she murmured drowsily, before taking a sip of the hot chocolate. It was just the right temperature to prevent Alex from burning her tongue, and she smiled into her mug. “I had a great time, too.”

Through the window, Alex could see the many snow people she and Kara had built in the backyard.

“This really _has_ been the best day,” Kara continued, rubbing her cheek against Alex’s shoulder.

With a hum, Alex leaned her cheek against Kara’s hair and closed her eyes.

She was close to drifting off, despite the chocolate she really wanted to finish.

“I can’t believe you pushed Rick into the fountain,” Kara whispered, her fingers massaging and kneading Alex’s thigh.

“Reasons why I should be your sidekick,” Alex replied lazily, settling the mug on her lap and giving in to the desire to yawn.

At the park, Alex and Kara had been busy with their snow angels when Rick and Brad had seen it fit to trample all over the ones they’d already made, before insulting Kara and her soft, pink jacket. Alex really couldn’t have let that stand, even though she’d felt a twinge of sympathy when Rick had come out of the fountain with his clothes soaked to the bone and his teeth chattering miserably. The ice on the water had already been broken, something which Alex hadn’t noticed before she’d shoved him. Although a much darker part of her hoped he’d end up with hypothermia.

“You’ll never be my sidekick,” Kara said lovingly, her voice contradicting the mean sound of the statement. Before Alex could feel hurt, however, Kara went on. “You’re your own superhero.” Kara’s hand squeezed Alex’s leg.

Suddenly, Alex’s throat felt a little too tight with appreciation, but she couldn’t move away. Not this time – not with Kara’s whole body weighing her down. Right now, Alex could do nothing to deflect, so instead, she pressed a kiss against the top of Kara’s head and allowed herself to feel appreciated.

The next time she felt down, she knew she’d think of this moment, and if she hadn’t still been holding on to that damn mug, she knew she would have wrapped Kara up in an answering hug. Although she had a feeling Kara knew what she was thinking.

“I love you, too,” Kara whispered, letting go of Alex’s leg so she could wrap her arm around her best friend’s stomach instead.

Nothing else needed to be said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phew phew phew back on schedule! and with such a sweet little thing hehe. hope you liked!
> 
> all mistakes are mine
> 
> if you want to chat, find me on tumblr @goshdarnitjay


	14. professor danvers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **For** : JoyfulTemplar
> 
> **Word/Prompt** : "Professor Danvers" [Alex x Kara; Fluff]
> 
> **Summary** : "Alex is working on an equation, when she's interrupted."

Alex hummed to herself as she stared at the whiteboard in front of her. There was an equation on it; one that she had been working on for the past couple of weeks. It still wasn’t quite right – that much was obvious – but so far Alex hadn’t come up with a way to fix it. Not yet, anyway.

Tapping her pen against her chin, she leaned against the desk behind her.

If only she could…

“Hm…” Alex took the pen in between her teeth as she squinted at the black letters on the board.

“Looks complicated,” a friendly voice from the door said, causing Alex to startle and drop her pen to the ground. When she turned around, she was confronted with someone she’d only ever seen from very far away. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

The woman by the door was over six feet tall, with long, flowing blonde hair and a red cape trailing behind her. Her suit was blue and the crest on her chest was unmistakable.

“How can I help you, Supergirl?” Alex asked, while she fiddled with the sides of her lab coat, which she wore over a blue flannel shirt and a pair of dark beige suit pants. If only she’d made an effort to dress up today in the face of someone so amazingly beautiful.

She really was too gay and too old for this.

Supergirl entered the room slowly, her eyes fixed on the equation behind Alex. She moved gracefully – otherworldly, almost. Now Alex understood why her ex-girlfriend had been so infatuated with the gorgeous superhero. The pictures and videos didn’t do her justice.

“I need your expertise, Professor Danvers,” Supergirl said with a smile, stretching out her hand and shaking Alex’s when she reached her side. Her palm was warmer than any human’s Alex had ever touched, and she wondered how much work it was for the woman to keep herself from completely squashing Alex’s puny little hand. “There’s a biological weapon my team and I have come across, and we need someone to analyze it for us and come up with an antidote.”

Letting go of Supergirl’s hand, Alex stuffed her fists into the pockets of her lab coat and gave the hero a slightly skeptical look.

“I’m flattered that you’re here, but I thought you worked for a clandestine government organization with its own group of scientists.” In fact, Alex had been contacted by the organization when she’d been nothing more than a mere assistant professor. At the time, the thought of leaving her teaching position had seemed impossible, and even now she wondered if this was some sort of ploy to get her to come and work for them. From time to time, she did get visits from someone who called himself Hank Henshaw.

Supergirl smiled and placed her hands on her hips in her typical hero pose that Alex had seen many a time on television.

“I know Hank has tried to get you to come work for us a couple of times over the years,” Supergirl said with a smile in her voice as she let her eyes roam the walls of Alex’s office. “I can see why you chose to stay here, though.” She shrugged. “I’m not here to convince you to switch jobs; I just know that you’re someone who can help us crack this thing much faster than any of our in-house scientists.” She waited a couple of seconds, before she rubbed her neck. “Please don’t tell any of them I said that, though; I don’t want to hurt their feelings.”

Charmed against her will, Alex contemplated the offer.

“Can you bring the material to my lab?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest. If this was a ploy after all, she could easily get out of it, but the woman in front of her didn’t seem to have a single malicious bone in her body, and Alex couldn’t imagine her lying about this.

At her question, Supergirl shook her head.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to come to the D.E.O. to work on the weapon.” She smiled apologetically. “The world needs you to work on an antidote, before our enemies decide to use this weapon against us.” She reached out with her hand to squeeze Alex’s shoulder, the warmth of her hand seeping through the layers of clothing without warning, causing butterflies to erupt in Alex’s stomach. “I promise I’ll make sure Hank won’t try to win you over this time.”

If she was at all honest with herself, Alex didn’t particularly feel like taking a look at whatever Supergirl was talking about, not if she had to do it at the D.E.O. But she also knew that there was only one choice that she would be able to live with. There was no way Alex would allow suffering to take place in the world if she could have done something to prevent it.

“If you just give me the address that I need to go to, I’ll start work on the weapon right away,” Alex acquiesced, turning away from the other woman to pick up her laptop. She would need to move some meetings and appointments around in her schedule, but this had to be done.

“It’s a secret government facility,” Supergirl said, a spark of humor lacing her words. “I can’t just give you the address.” She casually leaned against Alex’s desk and crossed her arms over her chest, which made her bulging biceps look ridiculously attractive.

Not that Alex noticed. At all.

“Then how am I supposed to find it?” she asked, flipping open her laptop and pulling up her calendar.

“I’ll pick you up,” Supergirl revealed with a grin. “I’ll have to blind-fold you, but flying you to the weapon is a lot faster than taking a car.” She winked at Alex. “I hope you don’t get motion-sickness – some people don’t react well to flying with me.”

With a scowl, Alex opened her mouth to protest, but before she could say a word, Supergirl had pushed herself away from the desk and had walked over to Alex’s side.

“I’ll give you my number, so you can text me,” she said, leaning down and grabbing the pen that Alex had dropped earlier, and which had rolled over to this side of the room. Pulling up Alex’s sleeve, Supergirl wrote down the numbers carefully onto the inside of Alex’s forearm. “When you need me to come and get you, just let me know.”

Her fingers burned on Alex’s skin.

Then, without another word, Supergirl sped out of the room faster than Alex’s eyes could realize.

Shocked, she stared down at the numbers on her arm.

When was the last time a woman had done that to her? She could barely remember.

She shook her head.

This was going to be a disaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so tired y'all so this is short. i'll definitely work on this au more later!
> 
> all mistakes are mine
> 
> if you want to chat, find me @goshdarnitjay on tumblr


	15. one night of wallowing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **For** : sandpix (& everyone else)
> 
> **Prompt/Word** : "Continuation of professor danvers" [Alex x Kara; Fluff]
> 
> **Summary** : "Alex wonders if Supergirl was really in her office."

Slapping her hand against her cheek, Alex wondered if she’d imagined the last few minutes. A glance down at her forearm confirmed that  _ something _ had happened, although she hadn't yet ruled out the possibility of a fever dream that culminated in her own hand frantically writing on her arm. 

 

She slapped her face again.

 

No change.

 

“Weird,” she whispered to herself, before the realization hit that Supergirl had taken the pen with her. A quick glance around revealed that the utensil was nowhere to be seen, and Alex accepted that she hadn't imagined the whole thing after all. 

 

Shaking her head, she turned back to the table behind her, unsure of what to do next. Her eyes swept across her office a second time, lingering for an instant on the equation on her whiteboard. 

 

Suddenly, she felt herself moving forward, her hand reaching for one of the several other whiteboard markers in a pot on a high stool next to her. It was as though Supergirl’s touch had shifted Alex’s perspective, and without losing any time, she started wiping and writing, completely losing herself in her work. Every time her gaze locked on the numbers on her arms, she felt another surge of inspiration.

 

Hours later, she was discovered by one of her colleagues.

 

“Still at it, Danvers? I was wondering why you weren't at the committee meeting,” she said, shaking her head as she leaned her shoulder against the door jamb. She scanned the equations on the whiteboard and the black stains all over Alex’s hands. Then, she raised both eyebrows. “Is that a phone number I spy on your arm?” With a grin, the woman moved over to Alex and grabbed her wrist. “Another one of your students?”

 

“No,” Alex said, unable to hide her embarrassment from her friend as she pulled her arm free and dropped the sleeve back down. “Leave it alone, Pam.” 

 

Her friend grinned mischievously and moved a strand of red hair behind her ear. 

 

“Aw, no need to be embarrassed,” she teased, although her interest was piqued. Alex was usually much less weird about the many come-ons she received. “I’m happy for you! It’s about time you got back in the saddle!” Alex and Maggie had broken up years ago, and even though Alex had always done better at being alone than other people, she was pushing forty. Sometimes, Pam worried her friend had given up on finding someone. 

 

“It’s a work thing,” Alex said dismissively, turning away from Pam and the whiteboard and moving over to her side table to pack up her things for the day. 

 

“A  _ work thing _ ?” Pam shook her head as she watched Alex cram a handful of documents into her brown leather briefcase. “Is she pretty?” 

 

Alex grunted in annoyance and closed her bag. 

 

“Why can’t you just let this go?” she asked, her exasperation clear as day in her words. Once she’d shrugged out of her lab coat, she slipped into her black leather jacket and gave Pam a derisive scowl. 

 

“It’s not in my nature.” Her friend shrugged.

 

Sighing, Alex grabbed her briefcase and left the office, Pam hot on her heels. While she locked up after herself, her friend tried to catch glimpses of the black marks on Alex forearm, a part of which was revealed every time Alex’s sleeves rode up a little. Knowing that she was fighting a losing battle, Alex gave in to her fate.

 

“Alright, fine, I'm helping the D.E.O. with a biological weapon. They need me to work on an antidote,” she admitted, only revealing this much to Pam, because she knew her friend had worked with the organization in the past. “Someone came by to ask me for help.”

 

Pam’s grin widened.

 

“They finally got you, huh? Did they figure out to send a  _ woman _ to recruit you?” She nudged Alex’s arm as they made their way out of the university and towards their parked vehicles. “Who was it? Maybe I know her.”

 

When Alex didn't answer straight away, her friend gasped.

 

“They didn't,” she said, causing Alex to wrinkle her forehead in confusion. 

 

“What?” she asked, much less amused by her colleague’s antics.

 

“They sent in the big guns,” Pam revealed, lifting the hand that wasn't holding her own briefcase and flexing her bicep, although the effect was less impressive due to the thick, red coat she was wearing. Alex flushed at the insinuation, remembering Supergirl’s  _ guns _ all too well. “Amazing. You know, they only send in Supergirl when they're dealing with really hard nuts they know they can't crack otherwise.”

 

The scowl returned to Alex’s mouth as she considered the possibility of having been conned by the superhero. Maybe the weight of the world didn't rest on Alex’s shoulders after all. 

 

When she saw Alex’s disgruntled expression, Pam pushed her shoulder against her friend’s. “Although I’ve never heard of Supergirl writing her number on someone’s arm.” She poked Alex with her elbow again. “Guess she thinks you're hot.”

 

That didn't lessen Alex’s scowl, though for an entirely different reason. 

 

She was glad when they reached the parking lot, although she already knew that she’d get a call from Harley later about her  _ affair _ with National City’s most eligible superhero. The thought was at once annoying and soothing. 

 

Before they parted ways, she surrendered to Pam’s embrace, ignoring the students around them. She knew that there was an avid group of them who were convinced that Professor Isley and Professor Danvers were an item, but Alex had learned to ignore rumors years ago. At least the kind that didn't ultimately hurt her career.

 

She waved to Pam as she watched her pull out of the parking lot in her bright green smart car, before settling into her own vehicle and staring down at the numbers on her arm. She wondered if there was any truth to Pam’s words, and if Supergirl had given her special treatment because she found her interesting. 

 

The thought followed her all the way home, where she pulled her car into the automatic garage. The big door slid down behind her, and Alex yawned tiredly as she entered her house from the side, throwing her jacket onto a pile of other jackets right next to it. Her shoes got kicked off next, before she shuffled into her kitchen and opened up her refrigerator. She had some Chinese take-out left, as well as a full Tupperware box of lasagna that her mom had brought her two days ago. After her dad had died of a heart attack three years prior, Alex’s mother had decided to move closer to her. 

 

It was nice, if a little exhausting at times. Eliza had loved Maggie a lot - as had Alex’s dad, for that matter - and she still hadn't forgiven Alex for breaking off the engagement with her. 

 

Grabbing the box of lasagna, Alex glared at the pile of dishes on her sink. She’d need to take care of that this evening.

 

While she waited for the lasagna to heat up in the microwave, she pulled open her laptop once more and finished rearranging her schedule. Then, she answered a few important emails and ignored a couple of others. She promised herself that she’d reply to Maggie’s email about getting together with their group of friends tomorrow, before pulling out her phone and staring at the newly entered number on the screen. 

 

_ Supergirl _ , the contact info told her in bold, black letters.

 

The microwave beeped behind her, and Alex pulled out the hot plate with little care. Setting it down next to her laptop, Alex grabbed a fork from her drawer before going back to stare at her phone.

 

She couldn't put off writing to the woman any longer. Not if she wanted to seem considerate of Supergirl’s time. The superhero had told her to text whenever - which implied that she would be there even if Alex decided she wanted to go to the D.E.O. on a whim - but Alex didn't want to be a jerk.

 

Scraping together all of her professionalism, she opened up a new text message window and started typing.

 

> [Alex Danvers]: Dear Supergirl.

 

She backspaced frantically.

 

> [Alex Danvers]: Good evening, Supergirl. 

 

She gnawed on her bottom lip and tried again.

 

> [Alex Danvers]: Hi.

 

Her professionalism was quickly evaporating as she asked herself what would be the proper way to address a superhero. She’d only ever had to deal with students and other professors, as well as some potential organizations to sponsor a project. None of those people were as strange and beautiful as  _ Supergirl _ . 

 

She dropped her phone and raked her hands through her hair. For heaven’s sake, she was a thirty-nine year old woman; why couldn't she send a simple text message?

 

Next to her, the lasagna was getting cold.

 

Staring down at her phone, Alex let out a sigh and started typing with her left hand while she clumsily tried to use her right to shovel a forkful of food into her mouth.

 

> [Alex Danvers]: Supergirl, this is Alex Danvers. I hope you're having a pleasant evening. I have time tomorrow at two in the afternoon to visit the DEO for two hours. Please let me know if you have time to pick me up. Best wishes, Alex.  _ Sent 6:46PM _ . 

 

She proofread the text five times before finally hitting send, although her stomach didn't feel any less queasy. In an effort to stem the worry that she would make a fool of herself, she turned off her phone screen and focused all of her attention on the lukewarm lasagna. She was in the middle of making a mental note to thank her mother one more time for the food, when her cell buzzed next to her left hand.

 

She nearly jumped, before turning her face towards the screen.

 

Briefly, she caught Supergirl’s name, before her phone went dark again - too quickly for Alex to see how long the other woman’s text message had been. For some reason, Alex had assumed that she’d have to wait for a long time to get a reply, perhaps because she thought that heroes probably had much more exciting night lives than a university professor. 

 

With shaky hands, Alex picked up her phone and unlocked the screen, trying to calm her racing heart as she stared down at the new message. 

 

> [Supergirl]: Hi, Alex! Tomorrow at two sounds great! Do you want me to pick you up at your office or outside the building? I’m totally flexible! My evening has been uneventful so far, just me and the television. I hope yours is more exciting! I’m looking forward to seeing you tomorrow :) - Supergirl.  _ Sent 6:47PM _ .

 

Blinking down at the words on the screen, Alex wracked her brain about what she should write back. The smiley at the end of the message was giving her signals that she wasn’t sure she was picking up correctly. If she allowed herself to be hopeful, then Supergirl was actually flirting with her. But the more cynical part of her, which was the one she usually listened to, told her that the woman was just being friendly and had no other intentions whatsoever.

 

She should probably call Harley and Pam to ask them for advice. Or, if she had half a bottle of gin and felt truly desperate, she knew she could always ask Selina to come over and tuck her in, before telling her how great she was and how much she was worth.

 

Tonight might be better spent trying to set up this meeting, though, and she didn’t want to show up on the first day at the D.E.O. with a hangover.

 

With a look of determination on her face, she started formulating her reply. This was a business arrangement. First and foremost, all Alex needed to do was to ensure that her meeting with Supergirl would go off without a hitch. She could worry about anything else later.

 

> [Alex Danvers]: It might be best if you pick me up at my office. I don’t know how the students would react if they saw me gallivanting around with Supergirl. No need to stir the rumor mill. My evening has been equally as uneventful. Best, Alex.  _ Sent 6:49PM _ .

 

As soon as she’d hit sent, she regretted not having replied to Supergirl’s final sentence. Could she send another one straight after? Or would that look desperate and strange? She felt like a teenager again, and she did not appreciate that one bit.

 

Again, she didn’t have long to wallow in self-pity and shame.

 

> [Supergirl]: What, you don’t want your students to think you’re going out with Supergirl? I’m sure there could be worse rumors! I’ll see you at two PM tomorrow at your office, then! - Supergirl.  _ Sent 6:50PM _ .

 

Ears burning red, Alex turned off the screen a final time and turned towards her now cold lasagna to finish it. She needed to stop thinking about Supergirl. There was no way that what she thought might be happening could go anywhere, not when Alex was too screwed up to make it work with someone as great as Maggie. And she was being extremely presumptuous by thinking that far ahead anyway.

 

Once the food was gone, she picked up the plate and went about washing the dishes almost mechanically. Her phone buzzed behind her, but she knew it would be little more than a text message from Pam or Harley. As soon as the kitchen was all taken care of, she shuffled over to the couch in her living room with the phone in her hand and sagged down on it, checking her messages to confirm that her friends had texted. She didn’t bother reading their messages - not right away. For the moment, she turned onto her back and stared up at the ceiling, picking up the remote for her home entertainment system and turning on some music.

 

Then, after a short fight with herself, she gave herself up to the memories of the afternoon, her mind soon drifting over to the way Supergirl had looked at her. To the way she’d stood in Alex’s doorway, almost like a vision in her blue and red outfit, with that otherworldly cape falling down her shoulders. 

 

With the music filling her ears and head, Alex closed her eyes and let out a soft sigh.

 

She’d allow herself one night of wallowing.

 

Tomorrow, she’d be better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i watched the new star wars movie and
> 
> im
> 
> go and see it ok go go go go go go
> 
> all mistakes are mine
> 
> if you want to chat, find me @goshdarnitjay on tumblr xoxo


	16. three pages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **For** : murderiread
> 
> **Prompt/Word** : "Dyslexia" [Alex x Kara; Fluff]
> 
> **Summary** : "Kara is squinting down at her text and Alex notices."

“Are you okay? Why are you squinting like that?” Alex asked as she looked up from her own homework, because she’d hardly heard Kara move her pencil after they’d both completed the math section. Alex had already been halfway through summarizing the text in front of her when she’d noticed the discrepancy. “I thought dad’s glasses helped with the x-ray vision?”

Kara’s nose was crinkled in annoyance, too, and her eyes were flying back and forth from her open notebook to the page of her text book.

“I—I can’t—” Kara shook her head again and put her finger on the text. She seemed more frustrated than anything else, and Alex put down her own pencil. Quickly moving around the dinner table, Alex sat down next to Kara and checked to see what the problem was. But all she could see was the same text she’d been focused on for the past ten minutes.

“Can’t what?” she asked, reaching out to rub her hand along Kara’s back.

“I’m having trouble with the text,” Kara replied, a hint of desperation creeping into her voice. “I wanted to make a note of something, but…” She stared at the mess of Latin and Kryptonese lettering on her notebook. “I tried to concentrate on only using English.” She gave Alex a pleading look. “But then there were the birds outside and I thought I could keep writing while listening to them, but—” She made a frustrated noise, and Alex squeezed her shoulder.

“What about the notes you took in class?” she asked, reaching out for Kara’s notebook and giving her a questioning look. “Can I see?” Kara hadn’t been in school for long, but this was the first time she’d heard her foster sister’s complaint about their language. She’d assumed that everything was fine, and to hear that Kara had been struggling made her feel a little guilty. She was supposed to be looking out for Kara, and she hadn’t noticed that anything was amiss.

With a small nod, Kara pushed the spiral notebook over, so Alex could flick through it. The pages were covered in the same scraggly handwriting as the new one, a convoluted mess of English and Kryptonese, and Alex picked up on the fact that even the words that Kara had written down in English weren’t spelled correctly. Furrowing her brows, she took in the many doodles and scribbles at the edge of the pages – birds and spaceships zipped around each other, interspersed with a mix of Earthen and Kryptonian flora and fauna.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?” Alex asked soothingly, running her thumb across a picture Kara had drawn of her in class. Inwardly, she cursed herself. She should have paid more attention. “Are you always this distracted in class?”

Kara slowly shrank in on herself and gave Alex a half-hearted shrug.

Gnawing on her bottom lip, Alex closed the notebook and wondered what to do next. If Kara had been anyone else, she would have said that her foster sister was suffering from dyslexia. Jennifer, one of Alex’s best friends, struggled with her dyslexia constantly in class, but Kara wasn’t a human. She was a higher being from a different planet who should have been perfect at everything.

“Did Clark say anything about having trouble reading?” Alex asked softly, taking Kara’s hand and holding it gently. It was true that Kara had shown trouble with learning English occasionally, but Alex had chalked that up to the girl still being in shock. Maybe she shouldn’t have.

Kara shook her head, and Alex nodded thoughtfully.

“I’ll talk to mom and dad about it, okay? I’m sure they’ll know what to do.” She patted Kara’s hand a little more, then turned back to the text book. “In the meantime, we can do this task together, if you’re up for it. Maybe it’ll help you stay on task.”

Shrugging again, Kara opened her spiral notebook and picked up her ballpoint pen. Alex, who had grabbed her own stuff from across the table, sat next to her silently and looked down at her own handwriting. It wasn’t as messy as it used to be – not after her mother had told her off after the teacher had called her about Alex’s nearly illegible tests.

“Let’s start from the beginning,” Alex said, though Kara’s eyes were focused on the wall, her eyes a little glassy, the pen in her hand unmoving. When Alex poked her in the shoulder, Kara whipped her head back around.

“Sorry…” she said, turning her face down towards the page. “Clock in the kitchen.”

Alex’s frown grew a little more severe.

“Did you tell dad that the glasses helped to make him feel better?” she asked with a little hesitation, fiddling with her own pen in her lap. Kara’s slowly pinking cheeks told her plenty about how much she had been struggling with her powers, even though she wasn’t letting her new family see it. Alex sighed.

“He looked so happy… and it did help… my eyes…” Kara put down the pen, lest she crush it with her fingers. “But I still hear everything. All the time.” Her hands gnarled together in her lap. “Blocking it out doesn’t always work, especially when I get distracted from focusing on controlling it for a second.”

“Like when you’re supposed to be concentrating on class,” Alex finished the thought, twisting her mouth into a scowl. She wasn’t angry with Kara, she was angry at the situation and that she didn’t know how to fix it. If the glasses helped with Kara’s eyes, maybe there was something that could be done for her ears? “Maybe we need something like a reverse hearing aid.” Alex felt suddenly excited. “Something that blocks the excess sound from entering your ears.”

Immediately, Kara brought her fingers up to her right ear.

“That way, you won’t have to work so hard on controlling your senses when you’re in school or around a lot of people,” Alex finished, dropping her own pen so she could wrap both of her hands around Kara’s forearms. “I bet it will help with the spelling, too.” She stroked her thumbs along Kara’s skin, hoping that her parents would be able to work something out for her foster sister. If not, Alex had a long and hard road ahead of her, trying to figure it out for herself.

When she noticed Kara’s eyes had glazed over again, and that she was staring down at Alex’s hands on her, Alex removed her fingers straight away.

Right – touch was a sense, too.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to overwhelm you,” she said quickly, moving her chair a little further away from Kara and remaining a respectful distance.

“No, no, it’s okay,” Kara said quickly, closing the distance between her and Alex that had just been created by shuffling her own seat closer. “I’ve gotten used to a lot of the noises and sounds you make; I’m just not that used to your touch, yet. Don’t be sorry.” This time, it was Kara who reached out to clasp Alex’s hand. “I want to get used to it.”

Still feeling conflicted, Alex allowed Kara to keep holding on, though she didn’t try squeezing and stroking again. Not until Kara gave her the signal that she was okay with it, and that the sensation wouldn’t overwhelm her.

“Can we get back to the text?” Kara asked shyly, glancing at the text book next to her like it was an impossibly tall mountain she had to climb. “It might take me a lot longer than you, though… I can read what’s on the page, it just takes a while.”

“I don’t mind,” Alex replied instantly, hoping to quell her foster sister’s worries. “If you want, I can read the text out to you. Do you think that would help?” They both sat directly in front of their homework again. “Maybe you can try focusing on my voice instead of a text?”

Kara’s ears burned red.

“Thanks,” she said, clearly embarrassed that Alex was working so hard to help her.

“Shut up,” Alex replied cheekily, refraining from bumping her shoulder against Kara, so as not to distract her again. “Alright, let’s start from the top. If you catch yourself losing concentration, tell me and we’ll start the sentence over again.”

In order to avoid Kara’s loving gaze, Alex stared down at the text and began to read.

 

-

 

“How is it?” Alex asked anxiously, finding Kara down on the beach after her dad had brought home the new hearing aids. Kara was standing just behind where the waves started kissing the shore, and Alex couldn’t see her face.

When Kara turned around, there were tears in her eyes.

“I can’t hear the street,” she said, taking a step forward so she could throw herself into Alex’s arms. “I can’t hear the sand shifting on the ocean floor, or the planes flying by above.” She sobbed into the black cotton of Alex’s t-shirt. “Thank you. I can’t remember the last time my mind was so silent.”

Heart beating overtime, Alex reciprocated the hug.

“I didn’t do anything – my mom and dad were the ones who made the aids…” She squeezed Kara’s waist, knowing that her foster sister was still insistent on learning Alex’s touch so that they could be around each other without it being a distraction. “I’m so happy for you.”

Alex had no sense of how long the two of them remained standing together, but she barely even cared. Not when Kara’s eyes were still leaking tears of happiness, and Kara hadn’t told her that their constant bodily connection was too much to handle.

“Thank you,” she whispered again, nuzzling her nose against Alex’s collar.

Cheeks burning with embarrassment, Alex simply nodded this time.

 

-

 

“My spelling is still trash,” Kara complained a few days later, her hand waving a piece of paper around in front of Alex’s face. Alex, who had been lounging on her bed with a book in her lap, wrinkled her eyebrows when she saw the elated look on her foster sister’s face.

“And why are you so happy about that?” she asked, plucking the piece of paper out of the air.

“Because there’s no Kryptonese mixed in!” Kara exclaimed, right before she floated onto Alex’s bed and grinned happily. “Just stupid and wrong Earth letters!” Her smile was almost too big for her face, and Alex laughed in response, reading through Kara’s messy writing.

“Now you’re writing like a real human teenager,” Alex said approvingly, noting with pride that the hearing aid had helped Kara enough to stem her Kryptonian dyslexia at least in some ways. The rest they could definitely work with, and Alex would make sure that their teachers understood that Kara would need a little bit of extra help from here on out.

Her words were met with a relieved noise of assent, before Kara’s head found purchase on Alex’s head, right over her heart. “Still sounds the same,” she said dreamily, closing her eyes and listening to the steady _thump, thump, thump_ underneath her ear.

Pushing away her embarrassment at Kara’s open, Kryptonian nature, she curled her arms around her foster sister and dropped the piece of paper onto the bed beside her. At some point, Kara would have to learn to focus without her hearing aid, but right now Alex was just glad that her friend had the option to stem the tide a little.

“Mom and dad will be happy, too,” Alex said casually, stroking her fingers down either side of Kara’s spine, which felt just a little different from a human’s. It was wider, studier. “Maybe we can get a specialist in to make sure you get extra time during exams and stuff.”

Nodding silently, Kara took off her glasses and closed her eyes.

“Let’s tell them later, please?” she asked, her voice quiet and relaxed.

Alex smiled.

Then, she closed her eyes, too.

 

-

 

Alex’s phone pinged in her pocket, and she looked up from her microscope to glare down at it. If she didn’t get these spores situated properly, her professor would rip her a new asshole, and on top of that, she didn’t want to disappoint her.

Still, she pulled out her phone, only to find a new text message and a new email from Kara.

She checked the text message first.

 

> [Kara Danvers]: Hey, Al! Hope ur doing ok and we’re still on for Fryday! I sent u an email with a text for my prof. Can u look it over for me in the next too days? Love yuo! ♥♥♥. _Sent 11:45AM_.

 

Kara’s first text was quickly followed by another, which contained three emojis who were all fletching their teeth rather forcefully, like Kara had done something wrong and honestly expected Alex to say no. She shook her head.

The annoyance evaporated instantly as she checked the email and the attached document. The text was about three pages long, and Alex could already see the usual problems with Kara’s writing. Although she’d improved a ton over the years, there were some things about the English language that Alex didn’t think her foster sister was ever going to grasp. But that didn’t bother Alex – that was _she_ was there for, after all.

She quickly shot back an answer.

 

> [Alex Danvers]: Sure thing! I’m at the lab rn – will text you later! Love you, too. _Sent 11:46AM_.

 

More hearts were sent her way, and Alex smiled to herself as she stuffed the phone back into her pocket and once again looked at her spores through the microscope. From behind her, she heard a few knowing chuckles and a whipping sound.

“Got you again, didn’t she?” Her friend Phryne asked her, a big smirk plastered over her red lips. “How long’s the text this time? Fifteen pages? Twenty?” She mimed the whipping motion Alex had missed before.

Alex gave her the finger.

“Three. Not that it’s any of your business,” she shot back, rolling her eyes at Phryne as she shrugged.

“Maybe one of these days you’ll actually find the ovaries to ask her out, hm?” she asked, turning towards her own piece of paper and taking a few notes.

“Fuck off.” Alex was still grinning, though.

And she grinned even more when she saw that Kara had left her a little message about her day and about how excited she was about their night out together at the bottom of the short essay.

Those never failed to make Alex’s day.

 

-

 

“You’re late,” Alex said from the kitchen, just as she finished stuffing five sandwiches into Kara’s lunch box, along with two apples and a handful of separately packages mini chocolates. It was a big lunch box. “What were you doing all morning?”

Alex was working the night shift at the D.E.O. right now, and she’d come into their apartment just as Kara had scrambled out of bed to get ready.

“I was writing!” Kara replied quickly, shoving her laptop into Alex’s hands. “Can you proofread that for me? Please?” She presented her lips for a kiss, and Alex accepted the offer readily, despite her slightly wrinkled forehead. “Thank you – I really need a shower.”

“But—” Alex said just as Kara super sped into the bedroom again to finish her morning routine.

Shaking her head, Alex stared at the document and started editing it, making sure that she caught any of her girlfriend’s little quirks. Ever since Kara had started working for Cat Grant, she had to admit that Kara’s writing had improved tenfold, but her girlfriend still wanted Alex to proofread her texts – her Kryptonian dyslexia would never fully go away on Earth.

Alex barely paid attention to what she was reading as she corrected a comma that had been placed in the wrong part of the sentence, before switching out another comma for a semi-colon.

“Comma splice,” she murmured to herself, although she’d already moved on.

When she reached the end of the page, her entire body froze.

“Are you finished?” Kara asked nervously, popping up suddenly from behind Alex.

“Kara…” Alex whispered, staring down at the last sentence. “Are you—do you mean this?”

“Of course I do,” Kara replied instantly, sidling up behind Alex and holding up a medium-sized, square box, before popping it open. “Will you marry me?” The ring was made of a sparkling material that Alex immediately recognized as Kryptonian crystal, and it was surrounded by a beautiful, silver bonding bracelet.

Clearing her throat, Alex sought purchase against the kitchen island.

“You forgot to ask me to forever correct your writing,” she said, referring to the last line of the document she’d just read, trying to bring a little bit of levity into the situation, because she felt as though her heart was about to explode.

“Dork,” Kara replied, wrapping her hand around Alex’s waist.

“You wrote it,” Alex insisted, her finger shaking as she drew it along the cold and perfect metal of the bonding bracelet. Before her girlfriend could say another word, Alex nodded quickly. “Of course I’ll marry you.”

Kara’s arms were tight as a straight jacket around Alex, but all she felt was love and relief.

“I love you,” Kara whispered into Alex’s neck.

“I love you, too.” Alex noted that Kara was wearing her hearing aids – something she hadn’t done in over three years, as far as Alex knew. “What’s with the ear accessories?” She gently pulled away and pulled at Kara’s earlobes. “What if someone’s calling for help, hm?”

Shrugging a little, Kara popped the small pieces of tech out of her ears and placed them down next to the laptop.

“I didn’t want to hear your heartbeat, just in case…” Kara lifted her shoulder once more. “I was about ninety-nine percent sure you’d say yes, but you know how it is.” She picked up the crystalline engagement ring and waited for Alex to lift her hand.

“The worry is real,” Alex replied with a nod, staring down almost in disbelief at the gorgeous band of crystal on her finger. She smiled. The bonding bracelet was for the ceremony, but Alex could tell that Kara hadn’t wanted to wait to show it to her. She felt the urge to repeat her declaration of love. “You’re still late for work.”

“I took the day off,” Kara revealed with a grin, returning to Alex’s loving embrace. “I hope you’re in the mood for a lot of cuddling.”

Alex sagged against her fiancé in happy relief.

“Always.”

Her eyes strayed to the document again.

Kara’s written words brought a spark of happiness to her chest.

 

> **Alex, will yuo marry me?**

 

She smiled and closed her eyes.

_Always_ , she thought.

_Always_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you like this! I had a lot of frun writing it! And I'm caught up again! Just today's ficlet left bless
> 
> all mistakes are mine. Except for the deliberate ones in Kara's texts - those belong only to her and Alex
> 
> if you want to come chat, find me @goshdarnitjay on tumblr xoxo


	17. opposites attract

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **For** : JoyfulTemplar
> 
> **Word/Prompt** : "Opposites attract" [Alex x Kara; Fluff]
> 
> **Summary** : "Kara is confused about a human concept and asks Alex about it."

“Hey, Alex, can you explain something to me?” Kara asked casually as she sat down next to Alex, who was shredding a group of other people in an online shooter that Kara didn’t like to bother with. Not unless Alex really begged her to.

“Sure,” Alex replied absentmindedly, staring intently at the television and moving the controller left and right, even though she didn’t need to. It was very cute, and Kara sat quietly for a couple of seconds, just taking in the moment. “What’s up?”

Leaning back against the couch, Kara stared at the TV, where Alex expertly sniped someone from a rooftop.

“Did you know Brooke is going out with Rick now?” Kara asked, following Alex’s soldier as he body-rolled behind a row of crates for some cover-based shooting. At Kara’s words, her foster sister barely shrugged.

“Heard about it, yeah,” she replied, again turning the controller to the side for no real reason than her own excitement and immersion. “Why? You’re not crushing on either of them, are you?” She gritted her teeth as her soldier took a round to the shoulder. “Goddamn fucking bastard asshole.”

Kara shook her head at Alex’s language, a smile creeping onto her lips.

“No, I’m not interested. I was surprised that someone as awesome as Brooke would date someone that awful.” Kara lifted her hand and ran it through the nape of Alex’s hair, accidentally distracting her sister and causing her soldier to die horribly in an explosion. When Alex cursed, Kara winced. “I’m sorry.” She withdrew her hand, but Alex caught it, her controller tossed onto the coffee table. On the TV, the game’s logo had flashed up just under the words _You died_.

“Don’t worry about it.” Alex turned to her side and gave Kara a wink and a smile. “I’ll get them all back for that later.” She pulled Kara’s hand back to her hair. “I don’t know why Brooke would date that asshole, but she dated Brad before, so… I don’t know? Maybe she’s got a terrible taste in men. Was that your question?”

“No,” Kara said, enjoying the way that Alex’s hair softly ran through her fingers. “I talked to Sam about it, and he said that they’re dating because ‘opposites attract’.” She put air quotes around it, though because she was Kara, she still used six fingers to do it instead of four. “But I don’t get what that means, and I didn’t want to ask him to explain it.”

Alex hummed in acknowledgement.

“People like to say that opposites attract when they don’t really know how a couple fits together.” She wracked her brain for a better clarification of what it meant, but she was having difficulties. Sometimes, the most basic things that she’d never thought about were the hardest to explain. “Although it’s sometimes used to justify shitty things.” She curled her hand around Kara’s on her neck. “Like… I don’t think Brooke and Rick are together because opposites attract; I think they’re together because Rick is a football player and Brooke likes the boost in popularity.” She shrugged, feeling a little bad for ragging on the girl, even though she thought it was true.

“But why would you want to be with someone who’s fundamentally different from you?” Kara asked, her confusion clouding her brain. “That doesn’t sound like a very viable model for happy and fruitful cohabitation.”

Smiling softly, Alex squeezed Kara’s hand.

“Like I said, people like to misuse the phrase. Rick is just a straight-up dick with a soul-sucking personality – honestly, I don’t think his relationship with Brooke is going to last long. It depends on how long she’s willing to put up with his bullshit,” Alex said, moving her fingers up Kara’s forearm. “The opposites that the phrase actually means are small things. Like, you’re messy and I’m neat. Or, I don’t know, you like to pineapple on your pizza and I hate it. Stuff like that.”

Kara’s face was furrowed in concentration as she took in her foster sister’s every word, only partly distracted by the way Alex’s fingers stroked along her skin. If Kara had been able to break out into goosebumps, she was pretty sure she’d be experiencing it right now.

“Or how I like to use four pillows to sleep on when you only like one?” Kara tested out the comparison, smiling when Alex gave her a nod to confirm that she’d grasped the concept. “Thanks for explaining. I was thinking it might be referring to magnets, and I was worried Rick and Brooke might be stuck together against their will somehow.”

Alex grinned and leaned in to give Kara a small hug.

“The phrase _is_ taken from magnets.” Alex pulled back from the embrace, patting Kara’s shoulder. “But I don’t think either of them needs to be magnetized to make bad decisions, unfortunately.” She picked her controller back up and reentered the lobby, waiting for other players to show up that she could kill.

Nodding thoughtfully to herself, Kara sprawled out on the couch and let her legs dangle off the end of the armrest. The crown of her head just about touched the side of Alex’s outer thigh, and she pondered all the ways in which she and Alex were different.

As she mentally listed all the ways they fit together despite their opposite-ness, she smiled.

Alex liked to play first-person shooters; Kara liked open-world adventures that involved building things.

Alex liked to organize her closet by color; Kara kept her closet messy on purpose to surprise herself every day with what she would pull out of it.

“I think we attract,” Kara said mostly to herself, keeping her eyes closed and softly pushing her head into Alex’s thigh. “We’re opposites in a lot of ways, but we totally attract.” Her smile grew a little wider as she considered that Alex liked to read during the night, while Kara liked to read in the afternoon.

Alex coughed a little in embarrassment at her foster sister’s blunt statements.

“The phrase really only applies to romantic couples…” she said awkwardly, staring down at Kara for a second, which cost her another life and pushed her back into the loading screen. She barely noticed.

“I don’t care,” Kara replied without malice, finally opening her eyes and gazing up at Alex. “I really like this human concept, so I’m claiming it for you and me.” She reached up with her hand and caught Alex’s to bring it to her throat. She liked it when her foster sister stroked the underside of her jaw – it was extremely sensitive, and never failed to make Kara feel like a soft puddle of relaxation.

Her words made Alex laugh.

“I guess you’re right,” she said with a teasing lilt to her voice. “I’m perfect in every way and you’re an annoying alien brat.” She stuck out her tongue and Kara laughed loudly, despite the insult. She knew Alex was kidding, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> had this idea on a train - blame that for this
> 
> all mistakes are mine
> 
> if you want to chat, find me @goshdarnitjay on tumblr


	18. I've got you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **For** : sandpix (& woodface & myself)
> 
> **Prompt/Word** : "Attack on Titan AU Part 2" [Alex x Kara; Hurt/Comfort]
> 
> **Summary** : "Alex loses her balance when Kara is struck with the cannon ball."
> 
> **Warning: This is a continuation of Chapter 3 of this advent calendar. So if you haven't read that, this won't make sense.**

“Al-e-x,” Kara groaned, lifting her left hand to her right shoulder so Alex could touch it. “Love.”

The expression almost brought another bout of tears to Alex’s eyes.

“I love you, too.” Breathing slowly through her nose, Alex squeezed Kara’s gigantic finger. “We’ll get through this together. We always do.” As long as she had Kara, she could be strong. As long as she had Kara, nothing could ever tear her down.

The first cannon detonated just as those thoughts entered Alex’s brain.

If it hadn’t been for Kara’s quick thinking, the cannon ball would have slammed directly into Alex. Instead, it struck Kara in the shoulder, causing a roar of rage to escape from her mouth.

The sudden shift caused Alex to lose her footing.

For a few seconds, she was falling – then, she discharged her omnidirectional mobility gear and shot herself around Kara and up the wall as quick as she could. Behind her, she could barely sense everyone else reaching the wall as well, just as another cannon detonated.

“Stop!” Alex yelled as she launched herself up and in front of the other soldiers who were manning the cannons. “Stop shooting!”

The woman directly to her left, whose hands were shaking as she loaded a new ball into the muzzle of the cannon, startled as Alex charged up directly in front of her. She almost dropped the heavy metal orb, while every other eye on the wall focused on Alex.

“That titan is not our enemy!” she yelled again, landing gracefully on the thick stone underneath her and knocking the cannon ball out of the other woman’s hand. At this point, she had everyone else’s attention, while Kara emitted steam from her wounds down below. “It’s carrying our wounded!”

Silence reigned as Alex’s comrades landed on the wall, before a man with a thick, blonde beard and an ashen expression started glaring at Alex with nothing short of panicked hatred on his face. He stalked toward her, almost foaming at the mouth.

“Traitor! You want us to lower our guard so that we may be devoured!” he seethed, making as if to grab her by the front of the white shirt she was wearing. “No titan is our friend!” He turned to the cannoneers. “Keep firing with everything you’ve got!”

Inside, Alex was seething, her teeth pressed together so hard they felt as though they would break apart any second under the strain. After a moment’s hesitation, the cannons started firing again. From below, Alex could hear Kara’s angry screams.

This wasn’t good.

She’d anticipated some resistance to her claim, but outright refusal to believe her?

With a sneer, she ran away from the superior officer in front of her and sought out her friends, who were congregating a little to the right of the cannons. Vasquez was leaning heavily on Reiner, with Lucy softly rubbing their arm. Reiner had his arm wrapped around Vasquez, a concerned look on his face.

“They don’t believe me,” Alex said without preamble, her eyes sweeping across the familiar faces of her cadet corps. “We need to get Eren, Mikasa and Armin out of there. Kara’s protecting them right now, but I don’t think she can recover indefinitely from those cannon blasts.”

Reiner nodded towards Berthold, who stepped forward immediately, alongside Jean and Sasha.

“We’ll help,” Sasha said, although her face was still haunted by all the death and destruction she’d witnessed. “But what about Kara? Will she come out of that big titan suit? Because I don’t know how easy it’ll be to hide a twenty-foot titan inside Wall Rose without anyone noticing.”

“I’ll talk to her,” Alex decided, already turning towards the edge of the wall. “You guys take care of Mikasa and the others. As soon as they’re out, I’ll try to get Kara out, too.” Her jaw tightened as she watched a cannon ball strike Kara square in the back.

_Even if I have to cut you out, Kara, I promise I_ _’ll get you_.

She launched herself off the top of the wall, while Lucy ran forward to talk to the superior officer who had lost his cool just a few minutes before. Lucy had always had a diplomatic streak similar to Armin, although she was much less nice about it.

Alex barely thought about her friends up on top as she whizzed down to Kara’s massive form. Berthold, Jean and Sasha were right behind her, although they soon dropped off to land closer to Kara’s hands, which were wrapped around their friends to shield them from the cannon blasts.

“Kara!” Alex called out as she landed on her friend’s shoulder. “You need to get out of your titan form! Do you know how to do that?” Before this moment, Alex hadn’t asked herself if Kara had known about her ability to transform. The fact that Kara was alive had eclipsed nearly everything else, but now Alex wondered if her best friend had lied to her for years about who she was.

She shook the thought aside.

“Kara!” she called again, watching as Berthold and Jean landed on Kara’s forearms, while Sasha attached herself to Kara’s stomach. “Open your hands!” Alex’s hands settled against Kara’s ear, holding on tightly as another cannon shot struck Kara’s back. But Kara barely seemed to be responsive. She leaned even closer.

Kara’s eyes were closed, and she seemed to be concentrating all of her energy on keeping Mikasa, Eren and Armin safe in her hands. The realization that Kara was willing to give up her own safety in order to protect their friends filled Alex with both pride and nausea.

“Kara, sweetheart,” Alex whispered directly into her best friend’s giant ear. “It’s okay now. You can let go. Berthold, Jean and Sasha are here to help.” She stroked her hands along whatever part of Kara she could reach, hoping that her familiar touch would nudge Kara back out of the protective mental shell she’d put herself in. “Kara, I need you to come out of there. Please. I need my best friend.”

Just as her hand scratched along the big jaw in front of her, Kara’s eyes opened almost lazily.

“Al-e-x,” she wheezed, her eyes fleeting down to take in Berthold and the other two, who were staring up at her. Immediately, Kara opened up her hands, revealing that Mikasa and Armin had flattened themselves against Eren to shield his body from any oncoming attack.

“You’re doing great,” Alex reassured her, holding on tightly as another cannon ball struck Kara’s leg, making her wobble just a little. As soon as Sasha and the others had employed their gear to get them out of there – every one of them carrying one of their comrades – Alex looked back and towards the line of protective shell that covered the back of Kara’s neck. From this position, she could see that there was a slight bump in the shell, which Alex was pretty sure represented the place where Kara would pop out of her titan form.

“Al-e-x,” Kara roared again turning her body so that Alex was no longer closest to the cannons. “Safe.”

“I’m not leaving without you,” Alex asserted strongly, slowly climbing on and then behind the protective bone shell until she reached the small bump. All she could see was smooth skin beneath it, but she knew that Kara was in there somewhere. “You need to get out of your titan form right now! They won’t stop shooting!”

Kara didn’t reply, which either meant that she had no intention of emerging, or that she didn’t know how. Gritting her teeth, Alex slid into the raised space between bone shell and skin, running her hands along the smooth surface.

“Kara, if you don’t get out of there yourself, I’ll have to cut you out,” she yelled, swallowing hard as she though about the damage she could do. “I don’t want to hurt you.” She heard the explosion of another cannon ball, which only fueled her rage and fear. “Come on, sweetheart,” she whispered, pressing her forehead against the hot skin underneath her. “You can hear my voice, can’t you? Just focus on my voice and come back to me, Kara.” She pressed the words directly against where she hoped her best friend would be.

From above her, she heard a fresh roar, which slowly petered off.

“Come on,” Alex whispered again, her hand reaching down to her blades. “Don’t make me cut you out, Kara. I don’t know what I’m doing.” She was excellent at cutting down titans, because she knew just how deep to cut to make sure they didn’t recover, but this was different. This time, there was the person she loved most in the world underneath that cut.

She’d just started sliding one of her blades free, when Kara’s titan stuttered and stopped. Then, it fell to its knees, and Alex was pressed against the back of the bone shell from the sudden loss of gravity. She grunted when she slammed back down, her teeth clacking painfully together as her chin slammed against Kara’s hot skin.

Alex had just pushed herself back up onto her arms, when she felt the skin underneath her hands start to ripple.

“Kara?” she asked, just as the titan form split open at the nape – and slowly, ever so slowly, pushed Kara up and out, directly into Alex’s waiting arms. Nearly crying, Alex curled her arms around Kara’s steaming form, barely noticing that Kara’s legs and feet were bare except for a ripped and tattered pair of slacks that ended halfway down her thighs.

Kara’s body was shaking a little, and there were dark red lines down her cheeks where the titan flesh had been attached to her.

“I’ve got you,” Alex whispered as she wrapped her arms around Kara’s limp form and started pulling them out from behind the protective bone shell. Around them, Kara’s titan was dissolving rapidly, though Alex had enough time to slip Kara over her back and launch them both off the titan and towards the top of the wall. “I won’t let anything happen to you. You’re safe. I’ve got you.”

Shooting back one last look at the crumpling titan, Alex concentrated on landing carefully on top of the fifty-meter tall wall, where Reiner immediately greeted her. His hands were strong and steady as he helped Alex softly lay Kara down on the ground.

Kara was breathing steadily, and Alex finally allowed her tears to fall as she looked down at the sweet face of her best friend. With shaking fingers, she cupped Kara’s cheek, before leaning down to press a small kiss against Kara’s right eyebrow.

Their moment of tranquility lasted less than a second, as the angry superior officer from before came up behind their group of friends. Eren wasn’t far from Kara, with both Mikasa and Armin by his side. He was still unconscious as well, but the red lines under his eyes had slowly started fading away. His uniform was missing a pant leg and a sleeve, and Alex swallowed as she wondered what had happened to him.

“All of you!” the superior officer roared, pointing at their group of cadets. “Get to the military building! Right now!” He glowered as none of them made any effort to move, an angry vein pulsing at the side of his face. “Unless you want to be charged with treason!”

Alex glared at him.

“We need to get Cadet Yaeger and Cadet Danvers to an infirmary,” she said quickly and as calmly as she could. “They went through unknown trauma in the line of duty, and we need to ensure that they’re going to recover.”

The angry vein seemed to grow even larger.

“We will do no such thing until we can determine whether or not they are a danger to humanity,” her superior officer said through gritted teeth, pushing his way through the group and coming to a halt just before Alex once more, who had gotten up to stand protectively in front of Kara’s unconscious body. Next to them both, Reiner was still kneeling by Kara’s side, a hand on her shoulder.

“Cadet Yeager and Danvers risked their own lives in order to protect all of us. We would have never made it out of the Trost district if it hadn’t been for them.” Alex was quietly seething, now almost nose to nose with the officer, who looked about ready to strike her. If he tried, she knew she’d be ready to counterattack. “If you want to hurt them, you’ll have to go through me first.” Her teeth were bared, and she could tell that her superior was just as afraid of her as he had been of Kara in her titan form.

Good.

“You would rather side with a monster than with your own people?” he hissed back, his fists shaking at his side. “Some of the other cadets have told me how the titan spoke to you.” His own teeth were shaking, the stink of terror almost wafting off of him. “Maybe you’re an infiltrator meant to cause the downfall of our people.”

She was on the verge of directly spitting into his face, when she saw movement out of the corner of her eye. Mikasa, who had Eren strapped to her back, launched herself off the side of the wall, Armin hot on her heels. Clearly, they’d read the situation and decided that keeping Eren here – so close to the frothing superior – would only put him in further danger.

Alex didn’t begrudge them their head start.

In fact, she was glad that she had one less thing to worry about.

It was the last thought she had, before she was struck in the face by an angry fist and lost consciousness.

With a thump, she hit the ground next to Kara.

She didn’t hear the way Reiner, Lucy and Conny yelled as they watched her go down.

She didn’t even feel how Kara’s hand twitched towards her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor Alex *pats her* she just got Kara back and now she's knocked out
> 
> all mistakes are mine
> 
> if you want to support me, find me on tumblr @goshdarnitjay


	19. a moment to ourselves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **For** : murderiread
> 
> **Prompt/Word** : "we never get a moment to ourselves" [Alex x Kara; Fluff]
> 
> **Summary** : "Kara and Alex are newly going out and they just want some time without any interruptions.

Kara chuckles as she pulls Alex in closer by the lapels of her black polo shirt.

 

“I had a really good time last night,” she whispers as she presses a small, heated kiss against Alex’s cheek.

 

“Me, too,” Alex replies almost breathlessly, feeling goosebumps break out on her skin when she feels Kara’s breath gently caress her cheek. There’s definitely something to be said about the way Kara has complete control over the situation. “I could have done without the natural disasters throughout, but…” 

 

Kara presses another, messier kiss against Alex’s cheek through her laughter.

 

“Can’t have everything,” she murmurs, pulling Alex even closer. “Now I have you all to myself.”

 

She’s teasing Alex, which really isn’t fair. Her lips ghost and slide against Alex’s mouth without truly making contact, and Alex feels herself go weak in the knees, her eyes closing slowly in response to this slow torture.

 

Just as Kara leans in even further, words and static drift up from Alex’s radio.

 

“Agent Danvers! Agent Danvers, come in!” 

 

Kara recognizes the voice as belonging to one of the new interns, and she pulls back with a disgruntled look as Alex answers the girl. Her voice is tight and frustrated, but she softens imperceptibly when they both realize that the new intern seems close to tears.

 

“I’ll be right there,” Alex promises, giving Kara an apologetic look. “Don't move. I’ll be there in three minutes tops.”

 

There’s a static-laced response, but Kara barely pays it any attention, before Alex has pulled her down for a swift little kiss.

 

Then, Alex is down the hall, and Kara leans against the wall of the corridor, staring after her a little wistfully. What they have is new and fragile, and yet so very exciting. She just wishes they’d get a break from time to time. Just to be together.

 

She thinks back to the night before, and a smile replaces her frown. Even though their romantic dinner had been interrupted by an erupting volcano on another continent, Alex had been incredibly understanding. Not that Kara would have expected anything less, but it was still nice to go out with someone who knew her inside and out.

 

Bringing her fingers to her lips, Kara allows herself a moment to sink even further into the memories of the previous evening. Into how sweet Alex’s kisses had tasted when Kara had finally come home to her.

 

She doesn't have long to dwell on her memories. As soon as her thoughts drift to Alex’s hands on her butt, her earpiece starts talking, notifying her about an incident downtown. With a sigh, she follows the instructions of the agent in her ear.

 

Sometimes, being Supergirl sucks.

 

-

 

Kara’s boots make almost no sound as she lands on the balcony, but Alex can feel her presence regardless. It’s several days after their first date, and they’ve barely had time to see each other.

 

“Hugs,” Kara groans as she closes the balcony door behind herself. “Need hugs.” She opens her arms and whines when Alex doesn't immediately come running to fill her request. “Might die. Need hugs.”

 

“Sorry,” Alex responds, looking up from her phone. “Vasquez just texted me the latest results from one of our experiments. I told them to keep an eye on my intern.” The last time Alex had left her alone in the lab, the girl had somehow managed to set her own hair on fire. Thankfully, someone had helped her put it out. Although the whole debacle had resulted in forcing Alex out of Kara’s arms. Again. 

 

With a sigh, Kara walks over to Alex and plucks the phone from her fingers. Then, she drops it onto the couch, before curling herself around Alex’s smaller frame.

 

“I was looking at that,” Alex complains half-heartedly as she wraps her arms around Kara. On instinct, her hands slip under the hem of Kara’s suit top to rub her naked back. 

 

“No more work tonight,” Kara asserts, nuzzling Alex’s neck with her nose. “I feel like we never get a moment to ourselves anymore. And I want lots of moments with you.” Her arms tighten a little when Alex’s phone buzzes on the couch. 

 

“It might be something important,” Alex says, though she makes no attempt to disentangle herself from Kara’s embrace. Instead, she scratches her nails down Kara’s back and breathes in the clean smell of her hair. 

 

“Nothing the D.E.O. can't handle without you,” Kara whispers, pressing kisses against Alex’s throat. “One of us got called away every time we saw each other this week. I'm so sick of it.” Her right hand strokes through Alex’s hair. “I just got you to go out with me. How am I supposed to woo you if I don't even get to see you?”

 

Her words pull an amused snort from Alex’s throat.

 

“ _ Woo _ me? Really?” she asks, pulling her face back far enough that she can give Kara an incredulous look. To her credit, Kara’s face is a little flushed with embarrassment. Alex thinks it’s very cute. “Can I at least check my phone to tell Vasquez that I’m off duty for the rest of the night?”

 

Slowly, Kara lifts one shoulder, though she still seems reluctant to let Alex go entirely. 

 

“You can keep hugging me, if you want.” Alex only half means it as a joke, and she’s not at all surprised when Kara curls herself around her back and floats behind her when Alex walks over to the couch to retrieve her phone. “Okay, so… looks like my intern managed to flash freeze her shoe, but Vasquez seems to have it handled.” She turns her face to the side to press a sweet kiss to Kara’s cheek. “You should text J’onn to ask him to cover you tonight. Just in case.”

 

Nodding, Kara pulls her phone from her boot and dials J’onn’s number, although she still holds on to Alex’s sweater with one hand.

 

Once he’s confirmed that she’s free from her duties, Kara grabs both her own and Alex’s phone and puts them on the coffee table. She can't put them on silent, but she can leave them out here to lower the temptation to check for new messages. Once that is taken care of, she floats back to Alex, who’s still in the same spot, and sweeps her up in her arms.

 

Alex only complains a little, and she quiets quickly when Kara has put her down on the bed and covers her whole body with her own. 

 

“We should do this once every week,” Kara murmurs as she allows her full body weight to rest on Alex - if it were anyone else, she wouldn't dare, but she knows Alex enjoys the pressure. 

 

“Dreamer,” Alex teases her, both arms wrapped around Kara, her cheek resting on Kara’s forehead. “Once every two weeks, though. That might work.”

 

Kara smiles. 

 

“I should probably take off my boots,” she says, although she doesn't move. Instead, she cuddles closer to Alex and closes her eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tonight's showing of star wars: tlj was so loud i now have a headache gdi
> 
> stupid cinema
> 
> all mistakes are mine
> 
> if you want to chat, find me on tumblr @goshdarnitjay


	20. the short end of the stick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **For** : JoyfulTemplar (& murderiread)
> 
> **Prompt/Word** : "Working too much" [Alex x Kara; Fluff]
> 
> **Summary** : "Professor Danvers has fallen asleep at her desk -- her wife takes her to bed."

“Sweetheart.”

The voice is close to her ear.

“Sweetheart, wake up.”

It’s familiar, but she can’t quite put the pieces together.

“Sweetheart, it’s two in the morning. I think you’ve worked enough.”

The warm, gentle hands of her wife settle like blankets over Alex’s shoulders, and she slowly opens her eyes when she feels herself being pulled away from her desk. There’s a piece of paper stuck to her cheek, but she barely has time to register its presence before it’s removed.

“Time to come to bed,” Kara says lovingly. A kiss is placed against Alex’s temple, and she blinks a few times against the light of the ceiling lamp. She hasn’t even noticed that her laptop has switched off its screen.

“What…” Alex rubs a hand against her face.

“You fell asleep on one of your students’ papers,” Kara explains, pulling Alex and her desk chair backwards, so that she can move in closer. She’s dressed in a pair of fluffy blue pajama bottoms and one of Alex’s old Stanford t-shirts. The logo is almost washed off. “I woke up and heard that your heartbeat was too slow for you to still be working.”

She bends her legs a little and slides one hand under Alex’s knees, the other under her back.

Alex doesn’t resist when she’s lifted out of her desk chair.

“Sorry,” she murmurs instead, tucking her face against Kara’s warm neck. “Got caught up in their bullshit.” She yawns against her wife’s skin, which makes Kara chuckle a little.

“You’re cute,” she whispers, smoothing her cheek against the top of Alex’s head. “But you promised that you’d stop at one AM this time.” She makes her way through the hallway, careful not to bump Alex’s feet into the skateboard that their daughter has leaned against the wall outside of her bedroom.

“Sorry,” Alex repeats, although she’s already half-asleep again. “I’ll do better next time.”

“Mhm.” Kara’s hum is mostly sarcastic, though Alex is too far gone to realize she’s being mocked. “You promise that every time.” Instead of taking Alex to the bathroom to brush her teeth, Kara enters their bedroom and closes the door behind them, before carrying Alex over to their bed. Kara’s duvet has been messily pulled aside, and Alex notices that it looks like her own pillow has been moved, as though Kara had clutched it to her in her sleep in lieu of having Alex there.

“I love you,” Alex says tiredly, although it comes out garbled and barely coherent.

Kara understands her nonetheless.

“I love you, too.” She sets Alex down on the bed. “Try to stay upright, ok? We need to get you ready for bed.” A swift kiss is bestowed on Alex’s lips, before Kara turns around to open their closet and pull out a fresh pair of pajamas for Alex. She shakes her head. “Workaholic.”

A part of Alex wants to complain, even after almost thirty years of proving Kara’s choice of nickname correct, but then she decides that speaking would require too much effort. Just because her health and overall strength has been enhanced with some Kryptonian attributes doesn’t mean that she needs to overdo it.

“How many times did you fall asleep on your desk this week?” Kara asks almost nonchalantly as she places Alex’s pajamas on the bed. Her hands start unbuttoning Alex’s white linen shirt without missing a beat.

Alex shrugs.

“Three times,” Kara supplies readily. “Remember when you said you wouldn’t do that anymore?”

With a guilty look, Alex leans forward to press a kiss against her wife’s mouth.

“M’Sorry,” she whispers against Kara’s lips.

“I know,” Kara sighs, cupping Alex’s cheeks and laying a gentle kiss against her nose. “But sorry doesn’t keep me warm at night.” Another kiss lands on Alex’s forehead. “Sorry doesn’t make love to me when I’m feeling horny at three in the morning.”

A groan escapes Alex, and she feels just a little more awake when Kara strips her shirt from her body.

“That’s not fair.”

With a pout, Alex allows her wife to take off her bra next.

“Life’s not fair,” Kara retorts with a mocking smile. “Now lift your arms.”

Once the t-shirt is over Alex’s head, she slumps back against the bed, while Kara undoes her belt and slips it from her slacks. A sigh of longing leaves Alex’s mouth when Kara takes a moment to slide up the t-shirt and press kisses against the stretch marks on Alex’s stomach. They’ve faded over the years, of course, but Alex cherishes them just the same. Even now that their baby is going to college.

“You need to work less.” Kara leans over Alex and stares down at her with a serious expression. “You’re not thirty anymore.” Her blonde hair tickles Alex’s cheek, but she doesn’t brush it away. “You have all the time in the world to work, honey, you don’t have to rush so much.”

Their soul bonding ceremony was two years ago, but Alex still sometimes forgets that her time isn’t running out anymore; that she has all of eternity now to spend with Kara and to work on her theories. She wonders often if it will _ever_ sink in.

Slowly, she lifts her hand to cup her wife’s cheek.

“You’re too good to me.” Her thumb runs along the thin scar on Kara’s cheek – one of the few permanent marks on her wife’s skin; from a particularly grueling fight against her Uncle Non. “You should just leave me drooling on my desk next time.”

Kara’s smile is beautiful.

“I’d miss you too much,” Kara says, leaning down to catch Alex’s lips in a gentle kiss. When she pulls back, there’s a smirk on her face. “And I don’t want to put up with your complaining in the morning about how sore your neck is.”

Even though that hasn’t happened in two years, Alex still puffs out her cheeks in offense.

“I want a divorce,” she threatens mildly, poking her pointer finger into Kara’s cheek.

“Well, I want half of my soul back.” Sticking out her tongue, Kara gets back to her feet and unbuttons Alex’s dark brown slacks. “Personally, I think you’re getting the short end of the stick here.” Her fingers make quick work of the zipper, and it doesn’t take her longer than a couple of seconds to divest Alex of her pants.

Alex scoffs.

“Try and see how you’ll get by without my salary,” she says playfully, pushing herself up and taking off her own socks, before throwing them towards the laundry basket. “How much does a superhero make again? Oh yeah – nothing.”

Trying to hide her smile, Kara slides the red pajama pants up Alex’s legs and sneaks a kiss in between her next rebuttal.

“I’m sure there are plenty of people who’d do anything to help out Superwoman,” she retorts, stealing a series of small kisses from her wife, because Alex’s fake pouts looks too delicious not to take advantage. “I’d have a sugar person in no time.”

Rolling her eyes, Alex slides under the duvet. “Your daughter will be so proud.”

Once she’s turned off the light, Kara slips into her own side of the bed, immediately sneaking over to Alex’s side and laying down on her chest.

“And your daughter will be disappointed that you drove her mother into prostituting her hero identity,” she says as she gets comfortable, sliding her leg over Alex’s and pushing her hand under her wife’s t-shirt to feel for the old House of El crest tattoo on her waist.

With a mock-thoughtful noise, Alex closes her eyes.

“Maybe we should just say married,” she concedes, running her hand through Kara’s hair and enjoying the feeling of warmth all around her. _So much better than my desk_ , she thinks as she enjoys the way Kara’s body weighs her down.

“Sounds reasonable,” Kara replies, following up her words with a yawn.

A smile stretches across Alex’s lips.

Before she can think up a witty reply, she’s asleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so tiredddd but at least !! once more !! i am caught up !! and i am done with uni for the year (at least in terms of classes) so maybe i can actually keep up with the updates now !!
> 
> all mistakes are mine
> 
> if you want to come and chat, find me @goshdarnitjay on tumblr


	21. she's out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **For** : sandpix (& myself)
> 
> **Prompt/Word** : "Jurassic World AU" [Alex x Kara; Mild Angst]
> 
> **Summary** : "Alex seeks out Kara to ask for her professional opinion."

Kara was scrubbing her motorcycle outside of her bungalow, looking sinfully attractive in her slightly greasy tank top and light brown khakis. Even though Alex should have long since been past these feelings, they still surged up every time she had to talk to the woman.

As she made her way through the grass, Alex’s eyes lingered on the nicely pronounced biceps on Kara’s arms, trying desperately to keep herself in check.

Once she was close enough, she cleared her throat, and Kara looked up at her without so much as a flinch. She’d no doubt heard Alex’s arrival and had simply been polite enough to wait for Alex to gather herself for their conversation.

She did things like that, because she was a good person.

Much better than Alex.

“Good afternoon,” Alex said formally, placing her hands behind her back and nodding to her colleague, who had gotten to her feet and was wiping her hands on a clean cloth. “Ms. Kent.” Alex’s posture showed her background in the military, but she couldn’t help falling back on old habits. Not when her emotions still felt rubbed raw.

“Hey,” Kara replied with a smile, lifting her left hand and running it through her long, blonde hair. “I haven’t seen you out here in a while. What’s up?” In fact, it had been over a year, something which Alex was acutely aware of.

Swallowing back her anxiety, Alex uncurled her hands from behind her back and used them to adjust her dark blue suit jacket. Her eyes flit away from the gorgeous woman in front of her and sought out the bungalow – a mistake. As soon as she spied the large easy chair through the window, memories rushed back to her.

Painfully happy memories.

“We need your expertise with a new specimen,” Alex said without beating around the bush, slipping her hands into her pants pockets. “Our lab has worked out a new attraction for the park, and it’s not behaving quite right.” She sneaked a glance at Kara’s attractively sweaty face and caught another smile. She looked away again; this time, she fixed her stare on a tree. “You’re our best behavioral expert.”

“That’s nice of you to say,” Kara replied warmly, slinging the used rag over her shoulder. “Can you tell me anything about the new animal? Which strands of DNA did you use? Is there anything in particular I should look out for?” She placed her hands on her waist, schooling her smile into a professional expression. “When do you want me to inspect the enclosure?”

“Right now would be good,” Alex said automatically, wishing desperately the wind hadn’t changed. Not only did it make Kara’s hair look windswept and dead-sexy, it had also carried the other woman’s scent. She still smelled just the same, just as Alex remembered. In a moment of weakness, she wondered if Kara would still taste the same, too. “We can talk about the particulars in the car, if you have time.”

“Sure, let me just throw on some clean clothes. I’ve been out in the sun all morning.” Kara’s skin was always beautifully tanned from her work out in the open, and a smattering of freckles dusted her shoulders and chest.

Alex had tried to count them once.

“I’ll wait out here,” Alex agreed, swaying back and forth on her feet a little.

“Don’t be silly.” Turning her head to the side, Kara indicated that Alex should follow her inside the small bungalow that Kara had rented on the island so she could be closer to nature and the creatures she worked with. “Have a glass of water while I’m getting changed.”

The implication that Kara knew just how often Alex forgot to eat and drink brought a new swell of regrets to Alex’s chest, but she didn’t protest. She was no match against Kara’s kindness. Without saying a word, she followed the other woman inside, wishing she could forget how Kara had looked against all the furniture while Alex made love to her.

“Won’t be more than five minutes,” Kara promised, hurrying off to the door which led to her small bedroom.

Alex didn’t give a response. Instead, she walked over to the open kitchen, where she got a clean glass from one of the cupboards and filled it with water. While she didn’t want to admit that she had needs like any other human, she was a little thirsty, and she had to be sharp and ready in order to do her job well.

She checked her watch and steadfastly ignored the vivid memory of being eaten out by Kara while sitting on the counter top next to her. It was stupid – surely, she should have been over all of this by now. And yet, somehow, she wasn’t. If anything, she felt worse about the whole thing now than she had over a year ago when she’d been full of self-important stupidity. Right before tearing apart the best thing in her life.

Nipping on her water, she glanced over to one of the shelves, afraid of what she might see.

It was still there.

She bit her bottom lip.

“All done,” Kara said, suddenly emerging from her bedroom in a fresh pair of light brown khakis and a nice, blue shirt. She was just putting on a handsome brown vest over her shirt when she joined Alex in the kitchen. Her hair was pulled up in a bun, and she’d clearly taken the time to wash her face and apply the barest hint of eyeliner.

Kara smiled when she saw the half-empty glass of water in Alex’s hand.

Blushing for no reason, Alex chugged down the last of the water, before pushing past the other woman without allowing their bodies to touch in any way. Her eyes strayed to the picture on the shelf again, her heart hammering wildly.

She wanted to say something about it, but she was too much of a coward.

“The new enclosure is in sector five,” Alex explained to distract herself, opening the door to the bungalow and stepping outside. Quickly, she breathed in the fresh air, trying to rid herself of Kara’s scent. Her lungs seemed to be full of her. “My car is just around the corner.”

They walked in silence for a few minutes – Alex’s hands were clenched in her pockets.

“How have you been?” Kara asked without preamble, almost causing Alex to trip.

“I’m fine,” she said quickly, keeping her eyes purposefully averted.

“You look stressed,” Kara observed without judgement, her tone of voice painfully familiar.

“I’m fine.” It was obvious that she wasn’t to anyone who knew her well, but Alex didn’t want to get into just how _not_ fine she’d been the last few months. She was lonely, she’d been swamped with paperwork, and now the new dinosaur she’d helped design was making problems for her.

To her credit, Kara didn’t try to prod any further, and the two of them reached Alex’s car without any more questions.

Once they were buckled in and on the way back to sector five, Kara leaned back in her seat and gazed at the side of Alex’s face. Even though Alex kept her eyes on the road, she felt as though the heat of Kara’s stare was burning holes into her cheek.

“So, what’s wrong with the new animal? If you’re here personally, it must be pretty bad.” Kara’s hands were folded in her lap, and she looked perfectly relaxed. Unlike Alex, she appeared to have zero problems with sharing such an enclosed space with her ex-girlfriend.

Maybe she’d moved on.

It had been a year since they’d broken up, after all.

The thought hurt more than Alex wanted to admit.

“We wanted to have something flashier and more dangerous for the guests, so we modified a strand of t-rex DNA,” she explained, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter as she hit a particularly rough spot in the dirt path underneath her. “The resulting subject has been unusually antisocial and hostile, and we can’t figure out why.”

“Define unusually hostile,” Kara replied, finally turning her eyes away from Alex.

“She ate her three siblings.” The words still made Alex feel queasy every time she said them. Since she was the head of the project – and one of the most important managers of the park – she’d been forced to watch the whole gruesome affair on tape. “We didn’t feel that introducing any other species would be prudent at this time, so she has been living on her own for about three weeks.”

Humming thoughtfully, Kara watched the scenery around them fly by.

“So she’s isolated… that probably doesn’t help her aggressive nature develop in another direction,” Kara said almost to herself, bringing a hand to her chest and scratching at her collarbone. “It’s odd that she would kill her own kind – t-rex aren’t typically known to do that.” Alex knew that Kara would rub her chin before she did it, and she hated how well she knew the other woman’s mannerisms. Even now. “Can you tell me what else you added to the DNA?”

While Alex filled her in, she steadfastly ignored the adorable little crinkle in between Kara’s eyebrows.

“None of that sounds like it should cause the kind of things you’re describing,” the other woman said once Alex was done explaining. They were nearing the gate for sector five, and Alex nodded her agreement.

“I hope that you can make sense of what the problem is, because Lord and the others swear up and down that there’s nothing wrong with her genetic make-up.” She pulled through the gate, which had opened to let them in. “If this continues, I’ll have to run my own tests.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t already, but I guess your new position doesn’t allow for much free time in the lab.” There was no malice in Kara’s words, as though Alex’s promotion hadn’t been the reason they’d broken up.

Not knowing what to say, Alex parked her car and opened her door. She just needed to get through this problem, and then she could go back to pretending that the woman she was still in love with wasn’t living just across the island from her, probably going out with women who were better suited to her.

“Follow me. Indominus rex is in enclosure seven. We built it specifically to contain her.” Swiftly, Alex walked past the main building of the new sector, Kara right behind her. The tall, sleek structure loomed over them, but Alex didn’t feel threatened. She’d worked in buildings much taller than this before she’d been hired to work at Jurassic World.

“That’s what you called it? I-rex? A bit on the nose, isn’t it?” Kara teased, following Alex into enclosure seven.

“Some head honcho in the marketing department came up with it. Trust me, if I’d had any say in the matter, I would have called it something more appropriate,” Alex grumbled, typing a code into a wall panel and waiting for the door to slide open before striding inside. The entire left wall was made up of tall, floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the enclosure. It was filled with shrubbery and a select number of trees and foliage. “This is where we keep her.”

The door closed behind Kara, who immediately stopped in front of the windows and placed her hands at her waist again. A look of concentration came over her face as she studied the many cracks in the thick glass.

“Looks like our new friend doesn’t like being cooped up,” she observed quietly, stretching out her hand and sliding it along one particularly long crack. “That’s not a good sign. If she keeps trying to escape from whatever enclosure you put her in, she’ll inevitably end up hurting herself. If she hasn’t already.”

There was genuine care in her voice for this creature she’d never seen before today, and Alex wished she could simply reach out and pull Kara to her chest, breathe in her scent, and hold her close. Instead, she joined Kara at the window and leaned her hands against the railing in front of the windows.

“I don’t want to put her down, but if we can’t help her adjust, it might be our only option.” Inside the pen, Alex could see her tall and dangerous pet sliding in and out of foliage. I-rex was turned towards the windows, as though she could see them, even though that was impossible through the one-way mirror.

“Will the higher-ups be happy about that?” Kara asked, her eyes following the animal through the enclosure and taking in its every movement. Watching her work was always a pleasure. “Who came up with the idea of designing new dinosaurs in the first place?”

Alex sighed.

“Ms. Grant is worried that our guests are growing bored with the species we already have on display. She wanted something more dangerous, more exciting.” She rubbed a hand across her face, allowing herself to be vulnerable with her ex-girlfriend in a way that she wouldn’t with anyone else. “She’ll be furious if Indominus turns out to be a colossal failure. She might demote me back to head of research.”

Turning her eyes away from the enclosure, Kara gave Alex a strange, indecipherable look.

“Would that be so bad?” she asked, curling her fingers around the railing in front of her.

Holding her gaze, Alex tried to figure out the right words to say.

She’d just opened her mouth to respond, when her radio crackled at her belt.

Kara turned away once more, and Alex pulled the device to her ear, feeling decidedly disoriented.

“Danvers – what’s the situation?” she asked, staring at the back of her ex-girlfriend’s head.

“I can’s find Indominus rex on the scanners anymore,” the voice of their security guard said almost breathlessly on the other end of the line. “Her heat signature has disappeared. Are you still inside the viewing area? Can you see her? I left for five minutes to get my lunch from the locker room and when I got back she was gone.”

Almost dropping the radio, Alex frantically searched the enclosure with her eyes – nothing.

“I can’t see her anywhere,” she replied, digging her nails into the railing. “She can’t possibly have broken out.” At her words, Kara startled, clearly picking up on the fact that something was wrong. “Can you see her on any of the cameras?”

When the security guard replied with a negative, Alex cursed.

Kara’s hand was warm and soothing as it settled on the small of Alex’s back.

“What’s going on?” she asked, the scent of her wrapping itself around Alex and lulling her into a false sense of security. No matter what, Kara never failed to have that effect on her. Even if I-rex had truly broken out, a part of Alex believed that nothing would happen to her as long as Kara was around. It was foolish and illogical, but it was an impulse she’d never been able to control.

“Frank thinks Indominus has left her cage.”

The determined expression on Kara’s face didn’t exactly make Alex feel better, but it was a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the whole I-rex thing is a play on "I wrecks" aka "I will wreck all of your shit" hehe which i think is pretty funny. I would have written more of this, but turns out writing christmas mail is really time consuming ??? who knew tbh - I'm eventually going to write the whole jurassic world thing, i think, because the movie had potential goddamnit and if it hadn't been for Owen Sexist Grady i could have actually had a really good time. so, in this, i just swap out the shitty dude for a great woman and VOILA instant improvement all around!!!
> 
> all mistakes are my own
> 
> if you want to support me, find me @goshdarnitjay on tumblr xoxo


	22. a pretty shitty alien and a pretty shitty lesbian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **For** : murderiread (&woodface)
> 
> **Word/Prompt** : "A shitty date" [Alex x Kara; Fluff]
> 
> **Summary** : "Kara is having a terrible time with this date."

“And that’s how I managed to score a goal at the last second after all!” the man opposite Kara said with a smirk, an insufferable air of arrogance hanging about him like a bad odor. He’d been talking about his middling soccer career for what felt like the last hour, and he barely seemed to notice that Kara hadn’t made a single comment about his story for the last forty minutes. “Honestly, my old team was lucky to have me.”

He paused in between self-important sentences to stuff a forkful of pork into his mouth, loudly chewing the slice of meat in a disgustingly smug fashion. For once, Kara’s superior senses were nothing but a hindrance as her eardrums vibrated excessively with the noises he was making. And the overwhelming smell of his expensive cologne would have been enough to knock her on her ass even without her enhanced nose.

She’d barely touched the food on her own plate, and she’d stopped eating altogether when she’d seen the spit from his mouth spray outward and over the other side of the table. Now, she was simply waiting for a way to escape without offending the guy too much. If he had been anyone else, she would have simply gotten up and left, but the fact that he was one of her friend’s colleagues kept her from being too blunt.

“And, see, then I told him—” he said, just as a woman walked up to their table, drawing Kara’s attention away from him. He, too, stopped speaking to gawk at her, his mouth hanging wide open. If Kara had been as shameless as him, she probably would have done the same thing, because the woman was breathtakingly gorgeous. She was wearing a nicely tailored pair of black slacks, as well as a dark blue blouse with thin silvery stripes. Her reddish-brown hair was cut in the shape of a bob that framed the sharp line of her jaw.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt, but something’s come up. We really need to go,” she said, her eyes fixed on Kara with a purposeful but friendly expression on her face. Before Kara could come up with an answer, she’d turned to her date. “Sorry, this really can’t wait.”

“Um,” he replied stupidly, clearly just as confused as Kara about what was going on. “What?”

“Maggie called,” the woman said to Kara, slightly widening her eyes and shocking Kara into action.

“Right, right,” she said, finally cottoning on to what the woman was trying to do for her. She’d clearly seen how much Kara was struggling with this awful date and was trying to give her an out. “Sorry, I need to go. Important business at work.” Quickly, she got to her feet and pulled her wallet from a pocket in her dress. “You understand.”

It wasn’t a question, and her dinner companion didn’t get a chance to ask any more questions. Once she’d thrown enough cash onto the table to cover her half of the bill, Kara hooked her arm through the other woman’s and pulled her away from the table and towards the front door.

“Oh my god,” she breathed as soon as they’d gotten their jackets and were standing on the sidewalk outside. Her companion was now wearing a rather attractive black leather jacket and had stuffed her hands into its pockets. She was smiling. “You have no idea how much I want to hug you right now. Thank you so much.”

With a laugh, the woman started walking backwards. “No problem, although you should probably walk around the corner at least, just in case that guy leaves the restaurant anytime soon.”

As though her feet had a mind of their own, Kara slowly started following the woman, who soon fell into step with her.

“I’m Alex,” she said, holding out her hand for Kara to shake. “My friend Maggie and I thought you could use an out. We were done with dinner anyway.” Her handshake was warm and steady – not too hard and not too soft. “You looked like you were in pain.”

With a groan of annoyance, Kara kicked a pebble across the street, careful to keep her powers in check.

“If I’d know he was such a fudge nugget, I never would have gone out with him,” she grumbled quietly, crossing her arms over her chest, her belly fluttering with butterflies when Alex chuckled at her choice of insult. “I’m Kara, by the way. It’s really nice to meet you.”

“I’m glad I could help.” Alex’s mouth twitched into another smile. “I know it can be hard to get out of situations like that sometimes.” She gave Kara a quick once-over, her eyes lingering on Kara’s pronounced bicep muscles, which were visible even through the jacket she was wearing. “Although you look like you can defend yourself just fine.”

“I wanted to throw him into space, but he works with a friend of mine, and I don’t want him making trouble for her. He seems like the petty type.” Kara quickly wondered how far she and Alex were going to walk next to one another, and whether or not Alex was leading her to any particular location. It wasn’t like Kara needed to worry about it – she could simply fly anywhere she wished – but she didn’t want the other woman to have a long track home in the dark. “Is there anything I can do to express my gratitude? Like pay for your cab home?”

“No, don’t worry about it. I know you’d have done the same for someone in your position,” Alex replied, turning around another corner. “Actually, I’m on my way to another bar. Maggie has an early shift at the station, but I don’t have to be at the lab until ten.”

“You work at a lab?” Kara asked, paying very little attention to how forward she was being. It was unlikely that she would ever see this woman again after tonight, so she felt much less nervous about screwing up than she did usually. “Not going in until ten sounds nice. My boss has me at work at seven AM sharp every morning.”

Grinning, Alex slowed her steps just a little, like she wanted to prolong the time they spent walking next to one another. It was a nice thought, and Kara allowed it to fill her chest with warmth. Maybe this evening could be salvaged after all.

“I mainly stare at cells all day and wait for them to do something.” Alex shrugged and mimicked Kara’s earlier pebble kick with one of her own. “I don’t know if you can really call that work.” She was clearly joking, and Kara wished she knew if this counted as flirting or not. “What do you do, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I’m a personal assistant,” Kara said, carefully omitting the fact that she was _the_ personal assistant in town, as far as importance went in National City. “My boss has a lot of demanding requests, so staring at cells all day doesn’t sound too bad to me.” She reached up to adjust her glasses. “Which bar were you planning on going to? This might sound creepy, but I wouldn’t mind tagging along, even if we split up once we’re there.”

She really hoped they wouldn’t, because Kara was having a very nice time with this attractive stranger who had saved her from an evening of agony. Sadly, Alex suddenly didn’t seem quite as eager about the prospect of spending more time together, if her hesitant expression was anything to go by.

“I’m not sure you’d like it there,” she said, giving Kara a worried glance. “It’s a bit of a hole in the wall.”

Dejected, Kara nodded and shrugged.

“That’s alright,” she said, hoping she didn’t sound as put out as she felt. It was entirely fair of Alex not to want her around at one of the places she frequented, and Kara didn’t want to make her feel bad about that. “It’s cool – I should probably go home.”

To Kara’s great chagrin, Alex did seem apologetic – like she’d done something wrong.

“It’s not that I don’t want you there,” she tried to reassure Kara, who felt slightly guilty under the other woman’s concerned gaze. “It’s a bit of a specialized clientele that I’m not sure you’d feel comfortable around.”

The words sounded a little odd, like Alex was trying to save not only Kara from the place she was leading her to, but like she was trying to save _herself_ from judgement. The tactic was so familiar that Kara didn’t try to reign in her overly enthusiastic mouth.

“Is it a gay bar? Because I’m bisexual – I totally wouldn’t mind going to a gay bar.” Once the words were out, Kara couldn’t take them back, although she sort of wanted to when she saw Alex’s smile. Especially since Kara wasn’t the best at reading people’s emotions. “It’s not a gay bar?”

“No,” Alex replied, nudging her own shoulder against Kara’s for a second.

“That’s a bit embarrassing,” Kara murmured to herself, crossing her arms behind her back and trying to hide the fact that she was blushing by turning her face towards the other side of the street. When she heard Alex’s soft chuckle, she whipped it back around to glare at her a little. “Unless you’re queerphobic, in which case I take the embarrassing back.”

This time, Alex laughed.

“I’d be a pretty shitty lesbian if I was queerphobic,” she said with a chuckle, making Kara’s heart beat a little faster. “But no, it’s not a gay bar.” She gave Kara another worried glance, before apparently deciding that she could trust her. “It’s a mixed-species bar – not everyone’s cup of tea.”

Kara nearly choked on her own spit, her eyes growing larger and larger as she stared at the side of Alex’s face.

_A_ _mixed-species bar_?

Was this beautiful lesbian woman real? And what did Kara have to do to keep in touch with her?

“Oh,” Kara squeezed out, hoping she didn’t sound closed-minded.

“You don’t have anything against aliens, do you?” Alex didn’t sound accusatory. Instead, it felt to Kara as though she were riffing on Kara’s earlier comment earlier about any possible queerphobia, and it provoked the one response Kara had trained herself not to give to strangers.

“I’d be a pretty shitty alien if I did.”

Horror washed over Kara like a brutal torrent.

To her great relief, Alex only threw her head back and laughed.

“Please don’t tell anyone,” Kara followed up quickly, stuffing her hands into her jacket pockets and anxiously gnawing on her bottom lip. “Our country’s policy on illegal aliens isn’t great right now, and I don’t want to get into any trouble.”

The laughter ceased immediately.

“Don’t worry, Kara, your secret’s safe with me,” she said earnestly, reaching out with her hand and gently squeezing Kara’s arm.

With a nod, Kara continued walking, waiting for the inevitable comment about how well she passed as human and how Alex would have never suspected that she wasn’t from this planet. When two minutes had gone by and it still hadn’t come, her shoulders relaxed a little.

“Do you still want to come to the bar with me?” Alex asked instead, giving Kara an encouraging smile. “They have a great selection of drinks and the people are cool, most of the time. And it’s not karaoke night, which is a plus.”

“Sounds great,” Kara replied, feeling particularly brave when she reached out to link her arm with the other woman’s. “Just a head’s up, if we’re going to be friends, or…” She quickly pushed on. “I love karaoke.”

“Noted.” Alex hid her smirk behind her hand, although she didn’t try to disentangle herself from Kara. Instead, she pressed her own shoulder a bit harder against Kara’s. “We’ll go back to the bar on Saturday. But just so we’re clear: I am _not_ singing.”

“We’ll see about that,” Kara said mischievously. Her stomach was buzzing with nervous excitement, and she didn’t hesitate to place her free, left hand on Alex’s bicep. Suddenly, this simple stroll felt like a much better date than the one she’d just left behind.

She smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what?? it's not the 24th - definitely not - i'm definitely not behind schedule again
> 
> all mistakes are mine
> 
> if you want to support me, find me on tumblr @goshdarnitjay


	23. lieutenant holdo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **For** : JoyfulTemplar (& myself)
> 
>  **Word/Prompt** : "Star Wars: The Last Jedi" [Alex x Kara; Mild Angst]
> 
>  **Summary** : "Amilyn isn't sure she's cut out to be a mother."
> 
>  
> 
> **Warning: Do not read is, if you haven't seen The Last Jedi! Spoilers ahead!**
> 
>  
> 
>  **Note** : From Amilyn Holdo's perspective. Xe/Xir as gender neutral pronouns for stormtroopers whose gender is unknown.

Staring down at the sleeping toddler on her lap, Amilyn wondered what the hell she had been thinking when she’d accepted this new position. She wasn’t cut out to be a mother – not by any stretch of the imagination. She was a fighter, a rebel. Hell, she barely stayed in one place for more than a few months.

“Holdo, what did you do,” she whispered to herself, curling herself around the small body in her lap and pressing her lips to the crown of its head. The soft brown hair on the small toddler was pulled into an intricate braid, and Amilyn recognized the handiwork immediately as her friend Eli’za’s.

Thinking of her brought a fresh wave of pain to Amilyn’s heart, reminding her all too acutely of why she’d decided to adopt the child in her lap. It was a foolish decision, but Amilyn had never been known to think ahead before she leaped.

Now she was paying the price for that foolishness.

Running a hand through her vibrant blue hair, she wondered what Leia would have to say about this.

Quietly, Amilyn thought that Leia had had the right idea in sending her son away to train. She’d never been particularly fond of children, and having little Ben Organa around had been a hassle – Amilyn would never understand why Leia had chosen of her own volition to have a child. Or why Eli’za would have, for that matter.

The child in her lap hiccupped in its sleep, and Amilyn guessed she’d soon find out what all the fuss was about when it came to kids.

Maybe it had been stupid of her take in her friend’s toddler after her passing – maybe she should have given little Alexandra Dan’Vers up to the state… but returning from battle to see that small face crumple with the realization that her parents were never coming back… Amilyn wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to forget how little Alex’s tears had dripped down onto the floor in rivulets of salt and water.

At least until Amilyn had crouched down to scoop the tiny body into her arms and hold it close.

She dropped her hand from her own hair and leaned back against the bench behind her.

This was going to be tough.

 

-

 

“No, honey, that’s not quite it,” Amilyn said as she adjusted Alex’s stance one more time. “Your shoulders are too stiff – you’ll hurt yourself with the ricochet if you don’t loosen up.” At six years old, Alex was tall for her age, but the blaster in her hand still looked comically large in her tiny hands.

“Okay, sorry,” Alex replied, visibly trying to shake out her shoulders. The blaster was set to stun, but Amilyn still stiffened when Alex pointed it at her own feet.

“Careful with where you aim,” she said quickly, reaching out to point the gun at the floor instead. “What did I say?” Her voice wasn’t harsh, and she’d crouched down to be eye level with Alex, so she hoped she wasn’t coming off as too strict to the tiny human next to her. Even after two years, she still wasn’t sure if she was doing this whole parenting thing correctly.

“Never point your blaster at something you don’t want to hurt,” Alex repeated dutifully, making sure to keep the blaster steady in her hands. She was dressed in a smaller version of Amilyn’s own outfit – which consisted mostly of an explosion of colors all over her pants and shirt. Over the last several months, Alex had come to mimic her style of fashion, and it was sweet – if a little disconcerting.

Amilyn had never been anyone’s role model before.

“Good,” she said, running her hand over Alex’s hair. “That includes your own body. You can’t strike down your enemies if you shoot off your own foot first.” She tapped her finger against Alex’s nose. When the girl giggled and rubbed at her face, Amilyn allowed herself a moment of overwhelming affection. “Now, let’s get back to aiming.”

Nodding as seriously as a six-year old could, Alex turned back towards the targets and lifted the blaster with both hands, her shoulders a little more relaxed than they were before. With pride swelling in her chest, Amilyn watched as Alex squeezed the trigger, the knockback from the blaster pushing her straight into Amilyn’s arms.

They both laughed.

 

-

 

“I don’t care that they think we should wait,” Amilyn said hotly to the small hologram on her desk. “If we wait any longer, the First Order will blast our ship right out of the sky.” She brought a hand to her temple and rubbed it in annoyance. “Snoke won’t hesitate.”

“I am well aware, Captain Holdo,” the man in front of her said with some heat of his own. He was just as frustrated as she was, but Amilyn didn’t have the luxury to feel sympathy for him, when she was expending all emotional resources she had to keep her own resentment down.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the door to her study open and close, and she watched Alex walk over to her. She was carrying a tray laden with hot tea and biscuits, as though she knew just how desperately Amilyn had been wishing for a snack.

Staying out of the hologram projector, Alex placed the tray carefully and quietly on the desk, before giving Amilyn a small smile and hurrying back out of the room.

“Captain?” the man asked, clearly confused as to why she’d turned her head to the side and wasn’t paying any attention to him.

His words shook her out of her stupor, and reminded her that she had a job to do, although she allowed the feeling of love and appreciation to fuel her as she continued to argue with her superior. And while she couldn’t have a biscuit while she was trying to save her fellow rebels from certain doom, the sight of them made the whole thing bearable, somehow.

When she was done and the hologram had disappeared, she finished off the tray’s contents, before leaving her study to find her adoptive daughter. To Amilyn’s great pride, she found her in the training room with one of the Bo staffs.

At fifteen years of age, Alex had grown almost as tall as Amilyn, and she was a joy to behold when she fought. Her focus was unparalleled, and she made sparring seem effortless. Of course, Amilyn knew better. Her adoptive daughter had trained long and hard ever since she’d been six years old to achieve this level of mastery, and she was only scratching at the surface of her potential.

Alex noticed her just after she struck a training droid directly in the forehead.

“Hey,” she said, wiping sweat from her forehead. “Did the meeting go well?”

“As well as could be expected,” Amilyn replied with a smile. She didn’t need to say thank you for the snack, not when Alex nodded back seriously and went back to her training. Eleven years, and Amilyn still didn’t know if she was doing motherhood correctly.

But as long as Alex was happy, Amilyn figured she couldn’t be too far off from how it was supposed to be done.

 

-

 

Ducking behind a row of crates, Amilyn pulled her blaster closer to her chest.

“Damn it,” she whispered, just before she popped up and shot a stormtrooper straight in the chest. This was not how she’d thought her Wednesday night would go. Naively, she’d believed that this rebel base was safe.

Somewhere on the compound, Alex was hiding out with a girl she’d saved from a small army of stormtroopers. Amilyn was equal parts exasperated and insanely proud of her reckless daughter, but she wouldn’t leave her to fend for herself.

Popping back down behind the crates, she counted to ten, before body rolling behind a tall garbage bin. Blaster fire followed her, but Amilyn was prepared. Hitting a custom switch on her blaster, she pointed the gun out from behind the bin and fired. The strength of the blast nearly knocked her on her ass, but it had the desired effect. The stormtroopers who had been firing on her were down for the count, and she could move freely amongst the room to the corridor she needed to get to.

“Rainbow Two, this is Rainbow One. I am on my way to you. What’s your status? Over,” she spoke into the radio at her wrist as she swiped her bright orange hair out of her eyes. Just as her ear piece crackled with a response, a stormtrooper rounded the corner. Xe were down before xe could fire.

“Copy, Rainbow One,” Alex’s voice sounded in Amilyn’s ear. “We’re in the same location. Still under heavy fire.” The sound of blasters being discharged joined the mix, causing Amilyn to curse softly. “General Organa and I are trying to hold them off, but we need help. Over.”

Cursing again, Amilyn engaged a different channel and relayed the location of her daughter and her best friend to anyone who could help get them out.

 

-

 

The door exploded, violently knocking the stormtroopers who had been standing behind it forward. With a smirk, Amilyn thanked the day she’d handed Alex the schematics of an old rebel bomb – the old thing had been improved hundredfold. She made a mental note to have Maz work up a new staff for Alex.

Grabbing her blaster rifle, she pressed herself against the wall next to the hole she’d just blown into it, before quickly moving forward and shooting three stormtroopers in the back. Distracted as they were, the remaining six of them fell to the combined shots of Leia and Alex, who had popped up from behind the metal desks they’d used as shields.

As soon as the danger was gone – for the moment, at least – Amilyn slung her rifle over her back and ran forwards, kicking stormtroopers aside as she went. She reached Leia first, who pushed herself to her feet and met her in a quick hug.

“Time to go, General,” Amilyn said, squeezing Leia’s arms before turning her face towards Alex, who had pushed herself up as well. She almost did a double take when she noticed that there was a girl in Alex’s arms who was shivering in fear. It wasn’t odd that Amilyn had never seen the girl before, since people often came and went to and from the different rebel bases. No, what was strange about it was the fact that Alex was reciprocating the other girl’s hug.

Alex wasn’t cold, but she didn’t like to be touched by people she didn’t know.

“It’s alright, we’re safe,” Amilyn heard Alex whisper to the girl. “I’ve got you.”

The sight was strange, but certainly not unwelcome. And she couldn’t wait to tease Alex about it, especially when she looked up and blushed at how she’d been caught. She didn’t pull back from the embrace, but she slid her hand from the girl’s long, blonde hair.

“Lieutenant Holdo,” Amilyn acknowledged Alex’s presence, feeling supremely pleased when Alex’s posture straightened immediately. “The rest of the base has been evacuated – it’s time that we made ourselves scarce before the First Order sends in reinforcements.”

With Leia at the front and Amilyn at the back, they slowly made their way through the corridors of the slowly crumbling building. The girl that Alex had been clutching to herself so tightly was holding a blaster, but she didn’t look like she knew how to use it. Her blue eyes frantically swept their surroundings, while Alex carried her blaster rifle with the purpose and steadiness she’d shown even as a teenager.

They’d almost made it to the hangar that held their ships, when a wall exploded next to them.

Amilyn’s weapon flew from her hand, landing somewhere off to the side, and Leia’s head was slammed against the wall. It didn’t knock her out, but it disoriented her enough that she dropped her weapon. Alex, who had been closest to the blast, crashed into the blonde girl, pushing them both to the ground. She and Amilyn got into a fighting position at the same time, with Alex crouched over her companion in a protective stance. There was a small trail of blood down the side of her face from where a particularly sharp bit of debris had struck her.

“General Organa,” the voice of Captain Phasma sounded loud and clear through the corridor, a company of six stormtroopers behind her. “The Supreme Leader will be happy to see you.” She lowered her own blaster rifle and nodded to her lackeys. “Take the General back to our ship. Kill the others.”

The snarl on Amilyn’s face matched Alex’s, and Amilyn wondered if she could make the jump towards her rifle before she was hit. Maybe, if she drew her attention away from Alex… maybe her daughter might survive.

She’d just entertained the idea, when a stormtrooper to her right made the decision for her by pointing xe rifle directly at Alex’s face. Xe didn’t say a word as xe fired xir rifle, but Alex’s face was illuminated with bright red before—

Amilyn’s hand was outstretched to push Alex to the side, but she couldn’t move anymore.

Time seemed to have stopped completely in the smoldering corridor.

Her eyes were staring straight ahead at the hand that was stretched out, keeping the blaster shot hovering in mid-air. A look of fury had come over the blonde girl’s face as she used the force to send the blast right back towards the stormtrooper. Slowly, deliberately. Amilyn watched as xir helmet was torn apart by the blast, revealing a terrified face underneath. Then, time returned to its original state, and the dead stormtrooper crumpled to the floor.

The rest of their enemies startled, giving Amilyn the time she needed to body roll to the side, picking up her rifle as she went. Readying it quickly, she aimed and fired, knocking down three other stormtroopers before the rest of them fled. Phasma was leading them, clearly unprepared to fight the powerful force user they’d just encountered.

The girl’s hand was no longer held aloft as Amilyn rejoined them. She was leaning in Alex’s embrace, a look of exhaustion clearly visible in her every feature. In the meantime, Leia had shaken off the dizziness and had picked up Alex’s blaster rifle.

“Come on,” she said, gesturing to the door in front of them.

Without wasting a single second, Alex jumped to her feet and pulled the girl’s arm over her shoulder, before pushing a hand under her back and knees to lift her up. Together, the four of them entered the hangar without further incident, and Amilyn was relieved to see that the ship she wanted to use was still there.

“Lieutenant Holdo, you take care of Kara,” Leia said to Alex, bringing a hand to the blonde girl’s sweaty forehead. “The Commander and I will check if there are any other rebels needing rescue.” She nodded towards the ship and Alex gave the affirmative.

With a quick kiss on the forehead, Amilyn let her daughter go.

 

-

 

“I haven’t seen power like that since… well…” Leia said with a grave look, making Amilyn wish she could turn back time and keep Ben Organa from joining Skywalker in his Jedi training. They were on the ship; now far away from the burning rebel base they’d been operating from before. “Alex has been good for her.”

Turning her face to the side, Amilyn watched the way Alex’s fingers stroked over Kara’s forehead. The other girl was sleeping under a soft blanket, although she’d additionally been wrapped in Alex’s favorite jacket.

The sight brought a smile to Amilyn’s face.

“It appears my daughter has taken a liking to her,” she whispered, her eyes crinkling with the memory of Alex’s first crush. “Where did she come from? How come I haven’t seen her around the base before?” And why hadn’t Alex told her about the girl?

Leia sighed softly, before taking a sip from her tea.

“She’s the last surviving member of the planet Krypton,” she said so softly that Amilyn had to strain her hears to listen. When she finally grasped what her friend had told her, she had to work very hard to keep her mouth from dropping open. Instinctively, she smoothed her hand across her colorful uniform.

“That’s—?” Amilyn asked incredulously, not making much sense.

In response, Leia hummed quietly.

“No one knows. Not yet, and I’d like to keep it that way. If Snoke finds out we have her with us, he won’t stop hunting her to the end of the universe.” Her next sip was slow and deliberate, her eyes following the way Alex’s hand moved from Kara’s forehead to her cheek as soon as Kara’s lids started to flutter. “I thought they would be good together.” She smiled. “I’m glad I was right.”

Picking up her own cup, Amilyn watched as Kara’s eyes widened in fear, before she realized that she was looking at Alex. As soon as Alex opened her mouth to whisper something to her, Kara’s entire body seemed to relax.

Reaching out, Amilyn took Leia’s hand.

“Me, too,” she said, finally looking away to give Alex and Kara some privacy.

 

-

 

“Someone needs to stay behind to wait for the ships to leave,” Amilyn said quietly, folding her hands in front of her purple dress, which she’d picked out specifically to match her new, purple hair color. Leia understood her words as soon as she’d said them, and she shook her head.

“Too many losses over the years,” she said, giving Amilyn a tired look. “I can’t stand another one.”

“Yes, you can,” Amilyn reassured her, glancing up to the window of the ship, where she could see Alex talking to Kara. There was a lump in her throat, but she knew she needed to do this for the rebellion. To ensure that – were something to go wrong – she was the one up on the bridge to make a decision. “You’re the one who taught me how.”

Leia sighed, then they both finished their goodbyes. Her hands were warm and soft as they enveloped Amilyn’s fingers, and Amilyn allowed herself another look up at Alex, who was gazing down at her now with a questioning expression.

Lifting her hand, Amilyn hoped her daughter would understand. And that she would see why Amilyn couldn’t say goodbye in person. If she spoke to her, if she held Alex in her arms one last time, she wasn’t sure she would have the strength to leave.

Alex flattened her hand against the window, her brows furrowed in a confused frown. Next to her, Kara gripped Alex’s shoulder, clearly already aware of what Amilyn intended to do. She spoke a few words to Alex, whose eyes widened immediately.

She tried to push her way past Kara, who had now wrapped both arms around Alex and was holding her close, keeping her from running towards the already closed hatch of the transport ship. Tears sprang to Amilyn’s eyes as she watched the ships take off one by one, Alex’s agonized face the last thing she saw before the ship turned around and left the hangar.

She wondered, again, as she had many times throughout the years, if she was cut out to be a mother. If she’d done right by the toddler she’d cradled to her chest over twenty years ago, and if that toddler would ever forgive her for choosing to follow this path.

Slowly, she turned away from the closing hangar door and walked through the empty ship, letting her memories drift to the years she’d spent fighting and loving and hoping. Her hand found her hair once more, pulling at the purple strands as she entered the bridge and watched the transport ships fly towards Crait – their last defense.

“Godspeed, rebels,” she whispered, laying her hand against the glass and wishing she knew exactly which ship housed the people she loved the most in this world. If she could give them a way out, she would take it.

Every time.

 

-

 

The last image Amilyn conjured up in her head as she initiated lightspeed, was a memory she often revisited when she felt as though there was no hope left in the galaxy. When all seemed lost and the day was as dark as the night.

An image of Alex, teaching Kara how to use the Bo staff while Leia watched them with an expression of happiness in her eyes. The sun beaming down on them all from above, allowing them a moment of reprieve so rare for these times of war they found themselves in.

As soon as the ship shot forward, she closed her eyes.

She closed her eyes.

And the darkness that followed was as bright as that summer’s day had been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just love holdo ok SHE'S THE BEST and i just wanted to combine my girl holdo with my girl alex and my girl kara and my girl leia ok i just love star wars
> 
> all mistakes are mine
> 
> i'm still totally not behind
> 
> if you want to support me, find me on tumblr @goshdarnitjay


	24. the meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **For** : sandpix
> 
>  **Prompt/Word** : "Getting help" [Alex x Kara; Hurt/Comfort]
> 
>  **Summary** : "Alex needs help and Kara is always there to give it to her."
> 
>  
> 
> **Warning: Mention of alcoholism. ******
> 
>  **Disclaimer** : I don't think Alex is a functioning alcoholic in the actual show. This is simply an exploration of a what if.

The tall brick building looms almost threateningly over them, but Alex doesn’t shy away from the feeling. She knows being here is the right decision; not just for herself, but for the people in her life and for the job she loves so much.

“Are you ready?” Kara asks gently, her fingers squeezing Alex’s hand. She hasn’t made a move to push them forward while Alex has been contemplating all the reasons she needs to enter this building. In all the years they’ve known each other, Kara has only ever pushed Alex to do something when it was truly necessary, and she knows that this moment needs to be Alex’s decision, not hers.

Shaking out her shoulders, Alex nods slowly.

“Yeah, let’s go inside,” she says, taking a step forward and pulling Kara along by the hand. For this occasion, they’re both wearing civilian clothing, and Alex is grateful that the foyer of the building is empty when she enters it. 

She falters when she sees the open door to the right, but Kara is there to give her a kiss on the cheek, and it’s the kind of gesture that never fails to move Alex in the right direction. With another quick nod to herself, she keeps going, her hands starting to sweat from the anxiety. 

“I love you,” Kara whispers sweetly into her ear, making Alex’s heart race for an entirely different reason. 

“Thank you.” In this state of mind, Alex can’t respond any other way, especially when one of the people inside the room notices them and gives Alex a small smile. Scraping together whatever courage she still has, Alex returns the expression and nods to the man, before being pulled away by Kara, who has spotted the donuts across the room.

The meeting isn’t set to start for another fifteen minutes.

“Oh, these are from my favorite bakery,” Kara says excitedly as she picks up one of the pink and sparkly donuts and bites into it. She moans happily and offers it to Alex, who shakes her head. “Come on, I know you love these.” Kara’s mouth is still slightly full, making Alex’s shoulders relax just a tad. No matter how strange and off-kilter being here makes her feel, looking at her girlfriend never fails to put Alex at ease.

“Alright,” Alex replies, before leaning forward and taking a bite, allowing the sweetness of the pink icing to fill her mind and push out the dark thoughts she’s been having all day. While she chews, she notices the goofy little smile on Kara’s lips and furrows her brows. Holding a hand in front of her mouth, Alex squints up at her girlfriend. “What?”

“I really, really love you,” Kara repeats, lifting up her free hand and wiping a bit of icing off the tip of Alex’s nose, before sticking her thumb into her own mouth to lick it off. The entire exchange makes Alex blush and furtively glance around the large room with the podium and the rows of chairs. 

Thankfully, no one seems to have noticed the encounter, and Alex wipes the tip of her nose with the red sleeve of her comfortable sweater just in case Kara has missed a spot. Then, she turns away from Kara to pour herself a paper cup of coffee.

Next to her, a black woman with frizzy dark hair walks up to pour herself a cup, too.

“Hey,” she says with a smile, adding a healthy amount of both milk and sugar to her drink. “I haven’t seen you around here before.” She smiles at Kara next, who waves enthusiastically. “I’m Bobbi.” There are several tattoos visible on her forearm when she reaches out her hand to shake theirs.

“I’m Kara, and this is my girlfriend Alex,” Kara replies, reaching around Alex so she can shake the proffered hand right after. “It’s our first time.” Bobbi’s handshake is firm and friendly, but Alex is still relieved that Kara took the lead in the conversation, because the prospect of talking to anyone at the meeting seems impossible to Alex.

“Cool, cool,” Bobbi replies, picking up one of the donuts for herself. “It’s a great program. I hope you come to the next meeting, too. My datemate and I are planning on bringing a bucketload of homemade cookies.” With her head, she indicates a Latinx person sitting in the fourth row who’s wearing a yellow dress.

Kara’s eyes light up straight away, and Alex forces herself to smile. She just wants to get through this meeting without thinking about the next one. The only thing keeping her tethered to the moment is Kara’s hand on the small of her back.

After a few more pleasantries, Bobbi heads back over to her datemate, and Alex finally allows herself to relax against Kara’s front. 

“You did great,” Kara murmurs to her, nuzzling her nose against Alex’s temple.

“Thanks.” Alex fiddles with her cup. “Maybe we should sit down.”

After she nods, Kara grabs another donut and follows Alex to the second to last row. To her credit, she doesn’t even roll her eyes at Alex’s choice. All she does is sit down and reach over to hold her hand. 

The donut is long gone by the time someone steps up to the podium. During the last seven minutes, the rows have filled up a little with an assortment of different people. They’re spread out across the space, like everyone has a preferred seat, which makes Alex feel a little less guilty over choosing such an obvious escape route for herself. Of course, she doesn’t plan on leaving before the meeting is over, but just the thought that she could without too much detection puts her more at ease.

Kara’s left hand is still tightly clasped with hers, and the fingers of her right one are curled softly around Alex’s bicep. As always, she’s the support that Alex needs to carry her through this tough experience. 

“Welcome everybody! I’m Sam,” the small woman at the podium says kindly. Her hair is cropped short and blonde, and her white skin looks slightly papery from the back. 

Around them, everyone speaks simultaneously.

“Hello, Sam,” they say, and Alex once again becomes terrifyingly aware of where she is and why she is here.

“I’m so glad you’re all here tonight,” Sam continues, although the rest of her sentence is lost to Alex as she thinks about the bottle of whisky she used to hide for emergencies inside a small lead box at the back of their closet. 

Although Alex would have never called herself an alcoholic, she knows going to these meetings is the only way forward. Because even though she’s been in denial since college, describing herself as a  _ functioning alcoholic _ is nothing but the cold, hard truth. It’s something that Alex has never wanted to accept. If it hadn’t been for Kara finally breaking down and talking to her about it, she never would have come to a meeting like this.

Kara’s fingers squeezing her arm brings Alex back to the moment.

“Who wants to start sharing tonight?” Sam asks, smiling at the people all around her.

Someone in the fifth row raises their hand, and Alex relaxes. She’s not ready to talk.

 

-

 

The meeting lasts for an hour, and Alex forces herself to pay attention and to listen to everyone else’s stories. She greets them when they introduce themselves, and she squeezes Kara’s hand as hard as she needs to whenever someone’s words hit too close to home for her liking. 

Once Sam has wrapped up the session, Kara gets to her feet.

“Want to grab a pizza on the way home?” she asks, curling her fingers around Alex’s jaw.

“Sounds good,” Alex squeezes out, following Kara’s example and getting to her feet as well. Around them, some people are mingling to talk to one another, while others walk out once they’ve put on their coats. “Can we take the long way back?”

Without hesitation, Kara wraps her hands around Alex’s waist and kisses her cheek.

“Of course,” she whispers, before giving Alex the tightest hug she can manage without breaking her back. “I’m so happy you’re here.” Even though they’re in a semi-public setting, Alex doesn’t care to stop Kara from holding her so close - not when Alex so desperately needs it. 

“Me, too,” she replies instead, digging her nails into the back of Kara’s beige trenchcoat. “Let’s get out of here.” Her stomach rumbles before Alex can announce that she’s hungry, and Kara chuckles as she pulls away.

Just before they walk out, Kara waves to Bobbi, and even Alex manages a small smile, although she doesn’t breathe right until she’s back outside in the cool evening air. Kara’s hand is back in hers, and she doesn’t waste a second to pull Alex down the street and towards their favorite pizza place.

She doesn’t ask Alex about the meeting, not yet, and Alex is more grateful than she can express with words. 

Together, they walk along underneath the stars, and Alex lets her thoughts drift back and forth in between the current moment and the meeting. Again, Kara seems to sense instinctively what she needs and starts prattling on about something or other that happened at CatCo. Something that Alex can nod along to and make some communicative noises at without actually having to be very present. The soothing tones of Kara’s voice wash over her like the touch of a loving hand, and she allows her shoulders and back to relax bit by bit.

When Kara’s words lull into silence, Alex squeezes her fingers.

“I love you, too,” she finally replies, leaning a little to the side so she can press a kiss against Kara’s shoulder. “Thanks for going with me.” They both know Alex wouldn’t have gone to an alcoholics anonymous meeting without Kara there to encourage her.

Letting go of Alex’s hand, Kara wraps her arm around Alex’s shoulders instead and kisses her head. In turn, Alex curls her own arm around Kara’s waist and briefly closes her eyes, knowing that Kara will steer her away from anything she might walk into.

They don’t talk again until they reach the pizza place.

Nothing else needs to be said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's definitely still the 24th of december what are you talking about
> 
> the in-between days of 2017 and 2018 had me more depressed than i would like to admit
> 
> BUT! at least this is finished now! i hope you enjoyed your ride here with me through these holidays! I hope you had a great new year's eve and let's all pray that 2018 is a good doggo ♥ thank you to everyone who read and commented and left kudos! You guys never fail to lift my spirits!
> 
> all mistakes are my own
> 
> if you want to support me, find me on tumblr @goshdarnitjay! ♥


End file.
